Super Smash Bowl
by FEARFAN
Summary: Mario's holding a SUper Bowl party at Luigi's mansion. But all of the Brawlers invited alot of friends. Enjoy the craziness and humor of more than forty people in once house. Made in honor of Super Bowl XLIV. Rated M for Mature...for obvious reasons.
1. Saturday before

--------------------------------------------------------THE SUPER SMASH BROTHERS SUPER BOWL PARTY------------------------------------------------------------------

**BRAWLERS TO BE SEEN: Mario, Luigi, Link, Ganondorf, Samus, Ike, Marth, Peach, Zelda, Roy, Lucario, Sonic, Captain Falcon, Young Link, Solid Snake, Wario, Bowser, Kirby, Fox, Falco, Peach, Pit**

**SPECIAL GUESTS: Saria, X, Zero, Sub-Zero, Cloud, Ciel, Sora, Riku, Kairi, Ilia, Scorpion, Axl, Squall, Simon Belmont, Duo, Hero, Altair, Desmond Miles, Ezio, Dracula, Jim Ranyor, Kat, Krystal, Rei, Asuka, Shinji, Karowu, Jack Cayman, Geno, Lucy Stillman.**

**Mario, Luigi, Peach, Geno, Ganondorf, Samus, Ike, Marth, Roy Zelda, Lucario, Young Link, Bowser, Wario, Kirby, Fox, Ilia, Pit, Falco, Saria, Kat, and Krystal are all properties of Nintendo.**

**Sonic and Jack Cayman are properties of Sega.**

**Simon Belmont, Dracula, and Solid Snake are properties of Konami.**

**Duo and Hero are properties of the Bandai/Sunrise.**

**Sora, Kairi, Riku, Cloud, Leon, and Sephiroth are properties of Squaresoft.**

**Rei, Shinji, Asuka, And Karou are all properties of Neon Genesis.**

**Jim Ranyor is property of Blizzard Entertainment.**

**X, Zero, Axl, Ciel, and Iris are all properties of Capcom.**

**Desmond, Lucy, Ezio, and Altair are all properties of Ubisoft.**

**Scorpion and Sub-Zero are properties of the company once known as Midway (R.I.P. you bastards)**

**I take no credit for anyone used. I DO take credit for putting them in this funny ass context. XD**

**CURRENT TIME: Saturday before the Super Bowl**

Mario was excited beyond belief when Saturday had come around. It was Super Bowl! After waiting for a whole year, the time for fun, friends, sports, had come around.

And beer! Who could forget beer?

Mario was getting ready for the Super Bowl all day. He first went out to the local Strack and Vantil, where all the supplies could be found. The place was extremely packed. People we're coming in from all over the city. Mario bought all the traditional food that a Super Bowl party: Steak, Chicken, Potato Salad, actual salad, and so much else. Mario filled up his cart quickly as many others we're reaching for everything. Espeically the Doritos. Last year's commercials with them we're so funny that everyone actually wanted to buy them. Who could ever forget the snow globe commercial where they they threw the snow globe at things? Mario got everything he could get.

After all, this year was supposed to be the biggest party the Smash Brothers ever had. So many people we're going to be there. Link had called him earlier on his cell phone saying that a lot of the people this year we're going to be inviting a lot of people. Mario told Link it was okay seeing as the party this year was going to be held at the mansion. Mario was already expecting a large party and everything was being taken care of as Mario loaded the groceries into his go-kart.

"Yeah that'sa totally fine." Mario said. "I've got plenty of room at my place. It'll be better there than at the Smash Brothers building anyway…you know that whole clear out by ten thing."

"Oh yeah; completely." Link said over the phone.

"I mean really that'sa bullshit." Mario said. "Knowing our usual party, half the people aren't even going to be able to drive themselves a home anyway. Last year Bowser was so wasted, he got stopped by the police."

"So…so was Captain Falcon." Link said.

"Yeah well see, the difference' was I saw it on news after the Super Bowl." Mario said.

"No way!" Link shouted.

Mario heard an eruption of laughter over the phone.

"I recorded it." Mario said.

"You got to show it to me man…wait…is Bowser coming this year?" Link asked.

"Yeah." Mario said.

"Even better." Link said. "Let's show it when he comes over."

Mario began to laugh as soon as Link had suggested that. It was a perfect way for Mario to get back at Bowser for winning the Kart race this year. Sure, Mario didn't mind losing, as long as the person wasn't a total douche bag like Bowser. Then it was revenge time…since Bowser wouldn't anything go and wouldn't shut up.

"When will you be there?" Mario asked.

"I'm coming early." Link said. "I figure it would be nice to have someone get everything ready. I'll bring breakfast."

"Oh that'd help a bunch." Mario said. "I'll see you when you get here."

"9 AM." Link said. "When's everyone else coming?"

"Whenever." Mario said. "Hopefully before the game…last time I trust Luigi with sending the cards."

"Oh yeah that was hell." Link said. "See you later."

Mario heard the click and then silence. Mario put the rest of the stuff in and began to drive off back to the mansion.

Mario only really needed to bring the food. Everything else was taken care of. Fox and Falco had the TV already taken care of. Music was going to be handled by Samus. Decorations we're already sent Peach earlier that Saturday. All Mario had to do was take care of the food.

Mario got home as quickly as he could. The Go-kart punched through the portal that took him to the different worlds and such. Mario drove his Kart into the garage of the mansion. Luigi was there waiting for him.

"Brother!" He said. "Your back! Did you get…"

Mario reached into his shopping bag and pulled out a box that said "Chicken in a Biscuit." Luigi took the box and began to hug it like a stereotypical fangirl, before opening the box and beginning to chomp down on them delicious chips of awesomeness. Mario on the other hand got the grocery bags out and began to move them into the house. Mario took each of the bags along with Luigi (who somehow found a way to eat the chips still). As soon as Mario and Luigi got all the food in the room, they got all the food out. Mario went over the cooking untensils section and pulled out several of them. After getting several of the tools, a traditional chef's hat, and pots and pans, Mario looked at Luigi.

"It'sa game time." Mario said.

Within the hour, Mario and Luigi began to prepare the food. All of it needed to be cooked, grilled, seasoned, and or otherwise. Mario marinated the chicken with spices, wine, and many other ingridents. Luigi prepared the meat for the burgers to be grilled tomorrow, and got all the drinks ready. It was going to be a huge party. Mario put all the drinks in the fridge. But there was still plenty of food to go to. Unable to complete all of it, Mario and Luigi decided to get all the food done tomorrow when Link would arrive. That way they would have some help. Besides and adventurer should know how to cook anyway. And a little exotic meal would be nice for a party setting anyway. Mario prepared as much as he could. Mario and Luigi decided it was time to sleep at about twelve. Mario and Luigi went up to their rooms and feel asleep shortly after.

**Alright heres the intro for my story, in honor of the Super Bowl. I hope everyone will like this idea. We're not at the actual game yet so don't expect anything funny until then.**


	2. Sunday Morning

**CURRENT TIME: Sunday Morning, 8:45 AM. 8 Hours and fifteen minutes before the kickoff.**

Mario woke up early that morning. It was Super Bowl Sunday! Mario's quick celebration in his mind was cut off though, by the fact that some of the food still needed to be cooked. Mario got up, took a quick shower, and ran over to Luigi; who was still sound asleep.

"Luigi!" Mario shouted. "Get up."

Luigi still snored loud as ever. Almost as if he didn't even hear Mario.

"Dude, seriously…" Mario said. "We got to get up! We still have plenty of food we didn't get a chance to cook last night.

Luigi still continued to snore.

"Don't make me use the bucket ol' cold water." Mario said.

Luigi still slept. Mario got a bucket of cold water and was about to splash it all over Luigi. But then he stopped before he did.

"No wait." Mario said. "I got a better idea."

Luigi continued to sleep through Mario's reasoning. So Mario decided to use drastic measures and pulled an air horn from a nearby sock drawer. Mario blew the device-of-loudness at Luigi's ear. It sure did get Luigi up; up into the ceiling that is. Mario looked up to see that his brother had made a Luigi shaped hole in the ceiling. Mario looked up and called out his brother.

"Luigi!" Mario said. "We have food to cook still."

"You could have just shaken me around a bit!!" Luigi shouted through the hole.

"Tried that!" Mario said. "Felt lazy about it! Get back down here; we got food to cook. And Link will be here any minute now!"

"Alright, alright." Luigi said.

Turns out Luigi was blasted into the Trophy room of the mansion, forcing him to go all the down, which took a whooping fifteen minutes to get from where he was over to where Mario was. Luigi took a shower himself (which took forever) and then got dressed. From that point forward, Mario and Luigi went back to the kitchen, and began to bring out the food that was not prepared from the day before. Mario refired the stove and began to cook the food.

As they we're cooking, the doorbell rang at about 9 AM. Luigi looked at Mario.

"I wasn't expecting guests so early." Luigi said. "Who's here?"

"Link." Mario said. "Said he was coming early with breakfast."

"Oh that's awesome." Luigi said. "Man I forgot I haven't eaten in twelve hours."

"Typical Luigi." Mario said. "Always thinks about food."

"Oh, you're one to talk." Luigi said.

Mario looked at his stomach.

"Touché, brother." Mario said. "Take care of my food; I'll let Link in."

"Okay." Luigi said.

Mario went over to the door of the mansion. Mario opened the door and revealed several people. Link, wearing his outfit from Ordon village. Link and Mario stretched out their hands and gave a handshake to each other.

"Mario!" Link said. "Nice place!"

"Thank you." Mario said. "It's sort of my brother's place so…"

"You much off of it?" Link asked as a joke.

Mario looked at Link.

"Okay seriously: who wouldn't?" Mario asked.

"Good point." Link said.

"Who else is here?" Mario asked.

When Mario said that, several other people came out. The first was a blonde girl in a white shirt and orange pants. The next was a younger version of Link, sporting a green tunic and green skull cap like his father. The next was a girl with short green hair, a green blouse, and small green shorts. She looked to just be fourteen, like the younger version of Link. And finally, Zelda came out, in her usual dress.

"I don't think you met Ilia yet." Link said. "This is my wife Ilia."

"Well that's good that you're married and all and…WWWWWWHHHHHAAAAATTTTT!?" Mario began.

"What; I never told you?" Link asked.

"No." Mario said. "Not to be rude, but I always thought you we're gay since you thwarted all of Samus's sexual advances."

"Damn dad; that's a low blow." Young Link said.

"Thank you son and Mario; you're really helping my self confidence." Link said.

"Ahh, don't worry honey." Ilia said as she put her arms around Link. "You did exactly you should be doing as a husband. I'll make sure you get a…special gift…for it."

Mario could swear he could see the words "boner" over Link.

"So…uh…who are the others?" Mario asked, hoping to draw Link back to reality.

"Oh…uh…" Link began, returning back to reality. "This is Young Link, my son. The younger girl next to him is his girlfriend Saria."

"Hello you two." Mario said.

"Wow, you're pretty short Mario." Young Link said.

"Don't remind me kid." Mario said, putting a hand on his head.

"Well you know, it could be worse; I could crack a joke about the size of your Young Link began.

"Let's move on." Mario said. "Nice to see you again Zelda."

Zelda ducked down a bit and gave Mario a handshake, and then a hug. Mario looked at Young Link and Saria, who we're laughing. When Zelda let go, Mario looked at the two.

"Just wait till I eat a mushroom." Mario said.

"You're going to get high!?" Young Link asked.

"No I'm not…" Mario said.

"Just kidding; nice to meet you." Young Link said.

"Same here." Saria said. "You're place is awesome."

"Thanks." Mario said. "Uhh…Saria…it's great you're with your boyfriend and all, but doesn't your own family have a Super Bowl party to go to?"

"Well I told Saria I was going to a Super bowl party and she said she wanted to tag along just to be with me." Young Link said.

"He begged me." Saria said, laughing.

"HEY!" Young Link said.

"Ahh stop worrying Linkie…I WUV YOU!" Saria said as she hugged Link.

Mario laughed at the sight along with everyone else. He then turned to Link.

"About breakfast?" Mario asked.

"Check it out." Link said, opening the bag.

Mario looked in the bag and saw everything perfect for breakfast.

"Damn Link, you bought everything." Mario said. "Eggs, bacon; especially bacon, hash browns, pancake mix, and everything else. Nice."

"I didn't know if anyone was going to show up early this year." Link said. "So I figure I buy enough to be sure that we can cover everyone this year."

"Let's get this shit on the stove then." Mario said.

"I'll give you a hand in the kitchen." Link said. "Kids, why don't you take a look around the mansion, while we get breakfast done?"

"Okay, sure." Young Link said.

"I've never seen the mansion before anyway." Zelda said. "Let's see if it is warm and comfortable as you say it is Mario."

"Hey where's your bathroom?" Saria said twisting her legs and holding her crotch. "I got to pee like a race-horse. I nearly pissed my panties on the way here."

"I told you those four sodas would be a bad idea." Young Link said.

"Bathroom is through that door." Mario said. "Make a right, then a left, then another left. It's the door straight down."

"Thank you." Saria said as she ran through the door.

Link, Ilia, and Mario returned to the kitchen. Luigi was busy cooking his food. Mario's dish that he was cooking was already done on the side.

"Good going bro." Mario said. "Thanks for monitoring the dish. Now I can cook the breakfast."

"Hey Link." Luigi said. "Long time no see."

"Nice to see you too." Link said.

"Who's the girl?" Luigi asked.

"That's his wife." Mario said.

"Wha…really?" Luigi asked. "I thought he was gay."

Link gave himself a face-palm.

"I have a bad feeling I'll be facing those comments the whole day today." Link said.

"Well…you know…" Ilia said. "You're outfit and all…"

"Yeah I figured as much…" Link said. "I guess tunics are considered out there."

"Sure; let's go with that." Mario said as he cracked opened some eggs and began to make them scrambled, while Link opened a pack of bacon and began to fry them up.

"So, who do you think is going to win the game this year?" Link asked.

"I got my eyes on the Saints, seeing as my Dallas Cowboys didn't get to the Super Bowl this year." Mario said.

"I agree." Link said. "Anyone as long as it isn't the Colts. Those bastards beat our Bears some years ago. It was a sad day."

"I cried." Ilia said. "It was so terrible."

Luigi laughed.

"Ahh you Bears fans and Saints fans." Luigi said. "The Colts are beating all of ya'll this year."

"Damn Colts fans." Link said. "Let's get this food done. I have some friends coming by. You don't mind Luigi?"

"There's a reason why this mansion is so big." Luigi said. "Besides, I'm expecting a huge party. Got to make up for last year. Last year's party was terrible."

"Agreed." Link said.

"So who are these friends who are coming?" Mario asked, as began to stir the scrambled eggs.

"There some friends that I met in a sword fight challenge." Link said. "One of them is named Desmond, the other Altair, and the other Ezio. They'll be here shortly."

"Hopefully, we'll have breakfast done before then." Mario said.

It took about an hour and a half to get all the food done. After which, Mario and Link began to set up the table. Sometime after the table was set up, the doorbell rang.

"Ahh." Link said. "That might be them now. I'll get the door."

Link walked down the hallway and opened the door. However, he didn't get two Arabic guys and an Italian guy, but a man who had an aura of darkness around him, dark skin, and or otherwise. A cape of darkness, and the Triforce of Power. Link looked at the door for a few seconds and shut the door.

"Ilia." Link said. "We're we followed when we drove here?"

"I don't know." Ilia said.

"Cause Ganondorf's at the door." Link said.

"WHAT!?" Ilia said. "What's he doing here?"

"He must have followed us." Link said. "Did you remember to change the license plate to our car this morning?"

"I did." Ilia said.

"…Crap." Link said.

An explosion was heard, knocking the door open. Ganondorf walked in the door with his sword out.

"Link…" He said. "What the hell man? Why'd you not invite me? I thought what we had was special man."

"You are my arch-enemy!" Link said. "Why the hell would I want to invite you? Besides, you and Bowser wrecked last year's party."

"Hey it's not my fault that I like blowing shit up!" Ganondorf said.

"Besides, do you know what crap you put me through?" Link said. "Do you know what crap you put me through!?"

"Do you know what crap you put me through!?" Ganondorf said.

"You almost destroyed the entire kingdom of Hyrule!" Link said.

"You killed me." Ganondorf said. "How do you feel now douche bag?"

"Good, actually." Link said.

"You want to go tough guy?" Ganondorf asked, drawing his sword.

"Oh yeah this is going down." Link said, drawing the Master sword.

Link and Ganondorf began to fight for a few minutes. The two used their blades and clashed with each other. Link and Ganondorf at one point we're really close to each other and had their swords clashed their faces really close.

"Whoa holy shit!" Desmond Miles said as he walked through the door.

Link and Ganondorf looked at Desmond, Altair, and Ezio as they walked through the door. Ganondorf put his sword away and decided to drop it. Ganondorf walked away from the area while Desmond went up to Link.

"What was all that about man?" Desmond asked.

"Ahh you know." Link said. "Arch-enemies and all."

"Ahh." Desmond said. "That old shit. I mean that was much better than what I was thinking. There are a lot of things you could have done with that sword man."

"Why does everyone think I'm gay!?" Link shouted. "I'm married to a girl okay?"

"Woo." Desmond said. "That's good. I was scared for a minute there."

"Please excuse my descendant." Altair said. "He is a retard."

"Hey!" Desmond said. "Who perfectly synced with you, and Ezio!? Far as I'm considered, I'm better than you!"

Altair extended his arm out to Desmond's throat and extracted his hidden blade from his armlet. Desmond eyes changed to pure fear.

"Okay man you win!" Desmond said. "Look see! Arms in the air. I don't have any weapons."

Desmond's hidden blade popped out of his right arm.

"Okay so I had a weapon and I am an idiot for not using it." Desmond said.

"So how are you doing Desmond?" Link asked.

"Aside from the fact that my ancestor has his hidden blade to my throat, pretty good." Desmond said. "Nice place here. You're friend has some style…hey…where'd Ezio go?"

The three turned around to see that Ezio ran over to Zelda.

"Pardon me my lady." Ezio said. "My spirit was so down today, until my eyes gazed upon yours. Who are you? How shall I call you?"

"I am Princess Zelda of Hyrule." Zelda said.

"A princess!?" Ezio said, giving her a small bow. "I am honored. I am called Ezio Auditoria Defrancie."

"Pleasure." Zelda said.

Desmond, Link, and Altair watched as Ezio began to hit on Zelda.

"I shall bet you some coin that my descendant shall have secured her in the bedroom within the next twenty minutes." Altair said.

"I bet you 50$ it takes a half-hour." Desmond said.

"You are on." Altair said.

"What?" Link said. "You really think this Ezio can get laid by Zelda?"

"You'd be surprised man." Desmond said. "Hey what's that smell?"

Desmond began to sniff around.

"Smells like Lucy after I fuck her." Desmond said. "Yeah, that's right. I'm tapping that ass."

"Oh that's all the breakfast we made." Link said. "You know eggs, bacon, hash browns, pancakes…"

"Shut up; you had me at bacon." Desmond said as he went to the kitchen.

Altair followed Desmond. Link turned towards Ezio and Zelda.

"Hey you two." Link said. "You better get some food now. We don't want to reheat it later. Better get it before Wario arrives at least."

"Why is that my good sir?" Ezio asked.

"Because when he arrives, we won't have a lot of food left." Zelda said.

"Wahahahah!" Warios laugh was heard at the door.

"Son of a…" Zelda said.

"I'm here." Wario said, holding a bag. "Where's the food?"


	3. Guests arrival PT I

**CURRENT TIME: 10:30 AM. Six hours and thirty minutes before the kickoff.**

"Wario!" Mario said as he came out to see who was at the door. "What 'a are you doing here for?"

"I'm here for the party!" Wario said while laughing. "Besides my house is being fumigated for…no particular reason…so I figure I come here."

"I didn't invite you." Mario said. "I mean whenever you 'a here, trouble always seems to happen."

"So?" Wario asked.

"You're one of the main reasons why last year's party was ruined." Mario said.

"Alright I'm confused now." Ganondorf said. "Was it Wario last year who ruined the party or was it me? Or was that the year before? God, I can't remember. I must have been wasted."

"Like you are every year?" Link asked.

"Hey!" Ganondorf said. "I don't go around and crack gay jokes about you; the least you can do is stop talking about my alcohol tolerance level. And you're friend Zelda's stunt last year wasn't exactly the best first impression. God Zelda; who knew you could be such a party…"

"Shut up." Zelda snapped quickly.

"Okay." Ganondorf said.

"I mean though, really Wario." Mario said. "Why should I have you over?"

"I brought Bud-light." Wario said, opening his bag to reveal hundreds of cans and bottles of bud light.

"Welcome in." Mario said as he helped with Warios things.

"Hey is that food I smell?!" Wario shouted.

"Yeah it is." Mario said. "We cooked breakfast!"

"Oh my god it smells so good I could just cum in my pants…whoop, speak of the devil!" Wario shouted.

Wario ran into a different room and disappeared from sight. Mario simply shrugged his shoulders and began bring the massive amount of bud-light from the bag Wario had into the kitchen. Link followed and began to help Luigi and Ilia, who we're busy setting up the table. Desmond was using his Assassin skills to sneak bacon into his hoodie without people noticing, Altair found a couch to sit on and hadn't moved since, and Ezio was still talking to Zelda. Link was just setting up the table when the doorbell rang again.

"Looks like everyone is coming this year in the morning." Link said.

"Some people are spending the night." Mario said.

"Oh like us this year." Link said. "I guess was thinking the same thing I was when I heard that the party this year was going to be at Luigi's mansion."

"Yeah well you guys came first so you'll be getting the best guest room." Mario said.

"Sweet." Link said. "I'll just get the door. Make sure there's some bacon left when I get back."

"I didn't steal bacon!" Desmond shouted. "You guys got nothing on me! You guys are crazy! You crazy!"

"We'sa didn't say anything about you." Luigi said.

"Oh thank god." Desmond said.

Link got from the table and went back to the front door again. He opened the door to see a young, blonde woman in a blue jumpsuit. She had six other people behind her.

"Samus!" Link said. "Nice to see you."

"Hey Link." Samus said. "How's Ilia?"

"She's here." Link said.

"Ahh…so I finally get to meet your wife." Samus said. "Good I finally will know that you're not gay."

"Oh my god can people leave me alone on that for the love of Din!" Link said. "I'm married! I've had sex! I have a kid! God can you people leave me alone on that!?"

Samus reached over Link's shoulder and put him in a headlock. Link struggled to get out of Samus's grip.

"Ahh don't worry I'm just messing you man." Samus said.

"Samus; I can't breathe." Link said.

"I'm here with someone anyway." Samus said as she let Link go. "Remember Solid Snake right?"

"Yeah; remember me?" Snake said as he carried some bags.

"A little." Link said as he rubbed his neck to be sure Samus didn't break it. "But who are the others?"

Several other figures walked inside the house. One of them had bluish armor and a helmet with a red crystal on it. The other had red and black armor, a blue crystal on his helmet, and long blonde hair that rivaled Samus's. The other had blackish armor and orange spiky hair. Then there we're two girls. One had long blonde hair, wore a pink shirt and skirt, and black nylons. The other had blue tights, wore a red dress, a small red hat, and brownish hair.

"Oh these guys." Samus said. "They're friends of mine from Capcom. This is X, Zero, Axl, Iris, and Ciel."

"Wow nice place." X said. "This Mario has some style."

"Zero's mine!" Iris shouted.

"Zero's mine!" Ciel shouted

Both girls who we're next to Zero began gripping his arm and trying to pull him towards themselves. Zero was constantly being dragged from one side to the other. Zero only seemed to be eyeing Iris at the time and just looked really annoyed.

"I've been dealing with this the whole ship ride." Zero said.

"God; how do you do it Zero?" Axl asked. "How do you turn on girls that easily?!"

"How do I do it?!" Zero said as he was being pulled from one side to the other. "I don't even know. I was hoping you would tell me!"

"Got to be the hair man." Snake said. "Chicks like that kind of style."

Zero just looked at him really annoyed.

"Look ladies, why don't you fight over me when we get some food into our systems first?" Zero suggested.

"Sure." Ciel said. "C'mon Zero."

Ciel grabbed Zero's hand and began to drag him towards the kitchen.

"You bitch!" Iris shouted. "Get back here!"

"HELP ME FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" Zero shouted, while Axl and X began to laugh at the whole ordeal.

"We better go help him, Axl." X said.

"Why; look at him." Axl said. "He's got two girls with him; He's going to have a three way by the end of the night."

"While that's true, Zero isn't someone who has the balls…oh I'm sorry that'd be rude…guts to do such a thing." X said as he walked towards the kitchen.

"Ruin my fun huh?" Axl asked as he followed X.

Samus made a small laugh as she went over to Link to show what was in her bag.

"I brought all the music that we'll need tonight." Samus said. "I also brought my CD-player, Ipod dock, and my actual Ipod. Oh and if anyone breaks this Ipod, their ass is mine. I'll go Chozo Drill sergeant on their ass."

"And I brought Budweiser." Snake said as he showed what was in his bag.

"Why'd you do that!?" Wario said as he appeared with a whole new outfit on. "I brought Budlight!"

"Cause Budweiser is better." Snake said.

"Budlight!" Wario shouted.

"Budweiser!" Snake shouted.

"Budlight!" Wario shouted.

"Budweiser!" Snake shouted.

Young Link and Saria came out of the second floor door and went over to the Link who was busy watching the ordeal.

"Hey what's going on?" Young Link asked.

"Nothing; adults are arguing." Link said.

"Wario's an adult?" Saria asked.

"…Not exactly." Link said. "Here, why don't you two go upstairs to your room and get our stuff unpacked? After that, why you don't you get some breakfast? We had a long trip."

"Got it dad." Young Link said.

"Just make sure you don't touch the stuff in that red bag in my suitcase." Link said. "That's the stuff for me and Ilia later tonight. You know the scented candles, ambient music, and stuff like that?"

Young Link and Saria looked at each other and began to giggle as they ran up the stairs carrying their bags.

"Budlight!" Wario shouted.

"Budweiser!" Snake shouted.

"Budlight!" Wario shouted.

"Budweiser!" Snake shouted.

Wario jumped on top of snake and began to attack him. A small cloud appeared where the fight was going on as several fists and stars could be seen coming out of it. Samus simply giggled as the two watched the ordeal.

"I'm going to slip into something more comfortable." Samus said. "I plan on staying the night here anyway. Umm…where's a bedroom in this place?"

"Mario would know." Link said. "Ask him. We're serving breakfast right now."

"Oh that's perfect." Samus said. "I'll I had this morning was a Dunkin' Donuts coffee. See ya around."

Samus walked away from the door. Seconds later, Sonic and Jack Cayman came to the door.

"What's up guys!?" He said.

"Sonic!" Link said. "You're invited to?"

"What better way to compete with Mario than to come to a party?" Sonic said.

"Who's that guy?" Link asked.

"Oh that's Jack." Sonic said. "He's my co-worker at Sega."

"I didn't know what to bring for the party, so I baked a cake." Jack said, holding a white cake, with red icing on the top. It looked big enough to have about fifty slices on it.

"Uhh…Jack." Sonic said. "There's a red flower on that cake."

"So?" Jack asked.

"Well I'm not saying anything bad." Sonic said.

"What's wrong with it?" Jack asked.

"Nothing…" Sonic said. "It's just…so out there."

"Listen!" Jack said. "I can bench press three hundred, I have a chainsaw on my right arm, I won the Deathwatch games four times in a fucking row, I've killed more than enough people in my time, and I've had a four way before! I seriously do not believe that baking a cake is any harm to my manhood at all! So do me a favor and Shut the fuck up!"

"Whoa…holy shit." Sonic said.

"Sorry about that." Jack said. "Uhh…where should I put this?"

"In the kitchen with the rest of the food." Link said. "Want me to tell Mario you're here Sonic?"

"Nah I'll let him find out." Sonic said. "Besides I'm waiting to see the look on his face with the Colts beat the Saints this year! Catch you later!"

Sonic disappeared in a blue streak.

"Did you hear that that "The Who" is doing the half-time show?" Jack told Snake as Link took the cake to the kitchen.

"No way!" Snake shouted. "You f-ing serious!?"

"Yeah." Jack said. "Why, you a fan of "The Who?""

Snake took his combat suit and took off the top portion of it to reveal a shirt that "The Who's" logo on it. Jack took of his jacket and had the same shirt. Snake and Jack looked at each other and smiled.

"YEAH!" The shouted giving each other a high-five.

Of course, when Jack gave his high-five, he used his mechanical arm. Snake ended up flying out the door, a hundred feet from where he was earlier. Jack looked at Snake with an "opps" type expression.

"Wow." He said. "You got fucked up. You okay?"

"I'm…good…" Snake said as he tried to get up.

"Alright cake's on the table." Link said. "Why don't you get some breakfast Jack?"

"Ahh, that sounds good." Jack said. "You got any onions?"

"Onions?" Link asked.

"Anything is good with onions." Jack said. "Do you know that Onions can regulate your stomach system and help with hair growth? They're healthier than they look."

"I'm…sure Mario has some somewhere and…hold the phone." Link said.

"What?" Snake asked.

"Okay…did I…no more than five minutes ago…tell my fifteen-year old son…to take his fourteen year old girlfriend…up to the bedroom…with the stuff me and Ilia we're going to use tonight?" Link asked.

"Uhh…I believe you did." Snake said.

"GOD DAMN IT!" Link said as he began to run to the bedroom.

"Hahahaha!" Jack laughed. "Ahh he should let them do their crazy thing. Hell when I was they're age, I was all about experimenting."

"TMI man." Snake said.

The doorbell rang behind them.

"I'll get it." Snake said.

Snake opened the door to reveal a man in black armor with long red hair. He had a cross on the back of his armor and carried a whip on the side of his belt.

"Sup Snake!" Simon Belmont said.

"Simon!" Snake said. "I haven't seen you since Castlevania: Chronicles! How ya been man! I didn't think you got my text message."

"Well Alucard isn't having his party this year since his dad is…you know…back from the dead." Simon began. "You know…Alucard doesn't have the Castle to himself now."

"Oh man that blows." Snake said. "That would have been an equally awesome place to have the party too. Aren't you supposed to be doing something about the whole…you know…Dracula thing?"

"Meh; I'll get on it after the game." Simon said. "I could use a vacation."

"Breakfast is on the table." Snake said. "C'mon in man. The Dining room is…"

"Nah I'll find it myself." Simon said. "I live off exploring castles or mansions or what not anyway."

Simon walked away from the area. Within no more than a few minutes later after Snake returned to guarding the door, the doorbell rang again. This time when the door was opened, a larger party was seen at the door. This time it was Fox McCloud, Krystal, Falco, and Kat all holding up a large television.

"Holy shit!" Snake said. "Look at the size of that TV."

"Seventy inches." Fox said.

"Ahh yeah." Snake said. "This year is going to rock! How you doing Fox!?"

"I'm good." Fox said.

"Anyone want to help us?" Falco asked.

"Why; I like to see you sweat." Kat said. "It's sexy."

"Shut up Kat; that's later tonight when I'm drunk and horny." Falco said.

"Whatever you say." Kat said as she giggled.

"Hey let me give you guys a hand with that; last thing I need happening is a nice seventy inch; HD TV breaking before the big game." Jack said. "The TV is supposed to break when the other team that one party wants to win loses."

"Yeah well let's avoid that because this is my TV." Fox said.

"Alright!" Duo shouted as he jumped through the door. "Let's get this game on."

"Who are those guys?" Snake said.

"Ahh they're bar buddies; we met them at Kilroys." Fox said as they we're climbing up the stairs of the mansion to the Living room. "Easy guys! That's Duo Maxwell and Hero Huey."

"Is breakfast being served?" Herro asked. "I was told breakfast would be served so I didn't eat anything?"

"Sure is." Snake said as he was eating pancakes. "Plenty in the kitchen."

"We got beer?" Duo asked.

"Plenty." Snake said. "We have enough beer to probably start a business. Course it be illegal; what with the whole using brand names and all."

"Alright!" Duo shouted. "I am kicking your ass Hero at a binge drinking contest."

"Good luck." Herro said. "We all know how that'll end."

"Oh yeah!" Duo shouted. "How!?"

"Allow me to recap you're memory seeing as you consumed enough alcohol that night to bring down a bull elephant." Herro said. "Christmas party, 8:00 PM, bathroom stall, thirty minutes."

"That's bullshit." Duo shouted as he followed Herro to the kitchen. "How the fuck do you remember all of that?"

"Who's the commander of the Gundam team again?" Herro asked. "I think it's a good idea I know everything about my teammates."

"EEWWW!" Duo said. "That's nasty!"

"What?" Herro asked.

"You know everything about us." Duo said. "Even sexually…"

"No I meant you're skills and mentality." Herro said. "God Duo, get your mind out of the gutter."

"Wow." Ganondorf shouted. "We got a shitload of people coming here this year. I'm glad I invited a couple friends. Otherwise I'd feel left out."

"Oh god; Ganondorf you didn't?" Zelda asked.

"I sure damn did!" He shouted. "Look here they come now."

An explosion of fire was seen at the door and a cloud of ice as well. When it cleared, they're we're two ninjas left in the wake. One was garmented in blue and black, the other with a similar get up, except had a yellow instead of a blue.

"Okay that's Scorpion on the left." Ganondorf said. "And that's Sub-Zero who's in blue. Scorpion lives in Hell and Sub-Zero is the leader of the ninja race called the Lin-Kuei."

"Suddenly, this party seems less safe than it should be." Fox said as he got the TV in the living room.

"God Ganondorf, did you have to invite such weird people?" Zelda asked.

"Well it could have been worse; I could have told the orcs there was a party." Ganondorf said.

"But…" Zelda began.

"Two ninjas or army of orcs Zelda!" Ganondorf shouted. "Take you're damn pick!"

"Fine!" Zelda said. "So what do you do for a living Ezio?"

As Zelda resumed talking to the Assassin, Scorpion and Sub-Zero walked in the room.

"Hello people!" Scorpion said. "I did not know what to bring, so I made co slaw"

"And I brought Budlight!" Sub-Zero said.

"YES!" Wario said. "Budlight 2, Budweiser 1."

Snake threw a grenade by Wario and blew him out of the building.

"You bastard." Snake said.

"Ahh don't worry." Sub-Zero said. "I brought Budweiser too."

"YES!" Snake shouted. "In your face Wario."

"We're tied you bastard!" Wario shouted.

"Wow." Sub-Zero said. "Only five minutes have we entered, and it already seems like a party."

"Hey can you get this cold?" Jack asked as he handed Sub-Zero a Mountain dew. Sub-Zero promptly touched the can for a few seconds. Jack opened the can and began to drink the nice clear soda.

"Ahh." Jack said. "That's good. This party is going to be awesome."


	4. A little bit of breakfast

**CURRENT TIME: 11:00 AM. Six hours until kickoff.**

Most of the people we're currently at the table, eating their breakfast. Almost everyone was down in the Dining room. Almost. There were some people missing. Samus had her Ipod dock and Ipod going off in the background. The music that was going off consisted of metal, alternative, pop, and classical.

"So who else is coming?" Samus asked.

"Ahh…ya' know." Mario said. "We're still missing Roy, Ike, Marth, Captain Falcon…"

"Captain Falcon!?" Samus said. "Ahh…crap."

"What'sa wrong?" Mario asked.

"I still haven't forgiven him for the time when we fought on Final Destination and he did his little "Come on," taunt and grabbed my breasts by accident." Samus said.

"You know…" Ilia said. "It was an accident…couldn't you forgive?"

Falco began to choke for a few seconds, but eventually got the food down as he began to laugh manically.

"Samus forgive!?" He shouted. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That's about as likely as Fox and Andross shaking hands!"

"She shake her money maker twice as hard as anyone can, she didn't make it this far by just shaking hands!" Desmond sang.

Everyone looked at him.

"Oh sorry." He said. "Not the time to sing Nickelback. Got it. Uhh…you look mad about that Samus."

"You would be too!" Samus shouted. "These things are private over here! Anyone who wants to get a gander is going to have a hell of a time."

"_Oh really mi' lady. Well then, I shall have a goal for the night." _Ezio thought. _"But I must attend to the lady who is front of me now."_

"Wait a minute!?" Samus shouted. "Who are you again?"

"I'm Ilia." She said. "Link's wife."

"OH!" Samus said. "You're Ilia!? I guess Link wasn't lying when he said he was married."

"I heard that." Link's voice was heard from a vent that led to the second floor.

"WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK MY HUSBAND IS GAY!?" Ilia shouted.

"I know." Link said through the vents.

"It's the tights man." Sonic said. "I know that outfit of yours is old time and all, but those tights really give off the wrong signals."

"Is everyone in the world not used to Hyrulian traditional outfits?" Ilia said. "I mean your own culture used to wear tights many years ago Mario."

"That'sa true, that'sa true." Mario said. "How is breakfast everyone?"

"It's so good I could just shit myself from all the goodness…whoop, speak of the devil!" Wario said.

Wario ran out of the room and vanished from sight.

"I…I… lost my appetite." Herro said, pushing his plate away from him.

"You were going to eat that?" Axl asked. "Because I still have mine."

"Sure; go ahead." Herro said. "I think I'll just get some more OJ."

"Thanks." Axl said. "How are you holding up there Zero?"

Zero was currently tied to a rope and was suspended on the ceiling while Iris and Ciel fought each other over him. Zero looked incredibly pissed off.

"I hate all of you right now." He said.

"Love you too buddy." Axl said.

"Is anyone going to help him?" Altair asked.

"Why; this is great; this is the best entertainment I've had all day." Jack said. "Besides, this guy should consider himself a man that he has women who are all over his ass. That's always awesome to have."

"Well see…" X began. "Zero's the kind of guy…I mean machine…I mean…forget it…he's the kind of person who is loyal."

"Oh so he's a pansy?" Jack asked.

"Well no it's not that!" X said. "It's just."

"Pansy; got it." Jack said.

"I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!" Zero said.

"He'll do it!" Axl said as he ducked under the table. "He's crazy! He went Maverick before! And…HELLO!"

Axl shouted that because he found he had a nice up skirt view of Samus (When Samus said she was going to slip into something more comfortable, she didn't mean sexually. She was wearing a nice tank top, white undershirt, and long pink skirt.)

"What's with you Axl?" Samus asked.

"Nothing." Axl said.

"Hell yeah." Snake said. "We got anymore pancakes?"

"Plenty." Mario said, handing him a plate of them.

"Ahhh…sweet." Snake said. "Huge breakfast, huge lunch, and huge dinner all in one day. This is going to be the best freaking party I've ever gone to."

Snake took about four pancakes and added them to his plate and began to resume eating. Mario grabbed a fire flower which was in a pot nearby him and began to sprinkle some of the pollen that was in it on his eggs.

"Whoa." Sub-Zero said. "What are you doing?"

"Oh." Mario said. "You see the pollen from the fire flower actsa like a spice. It'sa really good."

"Let me try that." Sub-Zero said, taking a flower from the pot as well. He sprinkled in on his eggs and used his fork to get some to his mouth.

"Whoa, I'd be careful Sub-Zero." Mario said. "It's not recommended for people who don't eat a lot of spice in their diet."

"Ahh." Sub-Zero began as he chewed and swallowed the eggs. "How bad could it…YEEEOOOOWWW!!!!!"

Sub-Zero within seconds got lit on fire. He then began to run around the room, flailing his arms in all directions as he tried to put it out.

"I'M ON FIRE!" He shouted. "I'M ON FIRE! SOMEONE HELP ME FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!"

"Help you!?" Zero shouted. "Help me! I'm the one surrounded by women here!"

"And…you're complaining why?" Duo asked.

Scorpion eyed the flower with keen delight as soon as he saw it light Sub-Zero on fire.

"Hey let me try that." Scorpion said.

"Sure." Mario said.

Scorpion stretched out his hand and fired his hook. When Mario saw the hook, he ducked to avoid the attack. But he left the flower hanging in the air. Scorpion got the hook in the flower.

"Get over here!" He shouted.

He retracted his hook and got the flower over to where he was. Scorpion then got the flower and put some of the pollen on his eggs.

"Is that how you grab things?" Mario asked.

"Yeah." Scorpion said. "That's how I always grab stuff. Hey! At least it's not as bad as how I say hello."

"Really?" Luigi asked. "How do you do that?"

Scorpion took off his mask and blew a ball of fire at Luigi. Luigi got hit by the ball of fire and was lit on fire himself.

"OH MY GOD!" Luigi shouted. "I'M ON FIRE! I'M ON FIRE!"

"Man this is getting old." Zero said. "The author needs to think of some better jokes."

"**Hey!" FEARFAN shouted. "Shut up! Don't make me use the magic powers of fanfiction and make you explode for no logical reason."**

"Yes Master." Zero said.

"**Good." FEARFAN said. "That's more like it."**

"Zero's mine!" Iris shouted.

"Zero's mine!" Ciel shouted.

"Oh yeah!" Iris shouted. "Well Zero's going to love me!"

"Oh yeah ya' skank." Ciel shouted. "Why!?"

"Well because I have tits lady flat chested." Iris shouted.

Ciel was about to say something, but then stopped. She then eyed down at her chest to notice that she did have breasts compared to Iris'.

"She has a point Ciel." Zero said as he was still suspended in the air.

"Well…I…I…I'M GOING TO GET PLASTIC SURGURY AND GET THEM EXPANDED!" Ciel shouted.

"NOT BEFORE I DO!" Iris said as she followed Ciel, who quickly left the area. Zero was suspended in the air still and looked more annoyed than ever.

"Hey Snake." Zero said. "Can you take off my helmet and press the self-destruct switch on my head now?"

"No." Snake said.

"Why?" Zero asked.

"Because, that would ruin half of this fanfic then." Snake said. "No one is supposed to die in a parody fanfic."

"Damn it." Zero said. "Can you at least get me down?"

A gunshot was heard and Zero fell on his head.

"Thank you X." Zero said as he pulled up a chair and got a plate. "So…what do we got for breakfast?"

The doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." Mario said. "Everyone else enjoy the breakfast."

Mario left the room and Link came back in, holding Saria and Young Link.

"What we're they doing?" Ilia asked.

"See." Link began. "That's the funny thing. They actually did exactly as I said. I guess I can trust him better than I thought."

"Yeah dad." Young Link said. "I think we're smarter than that."

"Yeah." Saria said. "You don't have to worry about us 24/7."

"I know." Link said. "I just don't want you to do something stupid. I mean…what do you think you would have gone through if you got pregnant? What we're you're parents think?"

"Yeah I know." Saria said.

"Well anyway." Link said. "You knew what to do so I guess I can't blame you. C'mon get some breakfast."

"Okay." Young Link said.

Link moved away from his son and his son's girlfriend. As soon as he got far away from them, Saria inched towards Link.

"Can I have my bra back now?" Saria asked.

"Sure." Young Link said who reached into his skull cap and gave back Saria's bra.

"Thanks." Saria said.

"I knew there was another reason Nintendo gave me that Skull cap." Young Link said.


	5. Guests arrive PT II and then some

**FEARFAN: Hey Dominator406 come over here!**

**Dominator046: Umm what is it man?**

**FEARFAN: The Brawlers and other people from other series are having a Super bowl party. Want to fuck with them?**

**Dominator046: I don't know man…oh why not…sure!**

**Roythemanslayer: Hey guys what's going on?**

**FEARFAN: Oh nick! Perfect! We need your master of perversion to make this fic a bit more interesting!**

**Roythemanslayer: Well then you have come to the right man! I am the master of perversion and all things naughty.**

***maniacal laugh is heard***

**Dominator046: Well then, remind me to hire you any time I throw a birthday party... anyways, I was told there was going to be some messing around with some poor unsuspecting people.**

**CURRENT TIME: 11:30 AM. Five Hours and a half before kickoff.**

Mario ran out of the kitchen because the doorbell was ringing the front door again. The doorbell was ringing over and over. Mario ran over the door in his usual manner (jumping up and down, making some weird unusual noise that nobody could discern where it was coming from). Mario went over to the door and opened it.

In the door, there were three people. A guy with brown spiky hair and a very unusual outfit, a guy in long silver hair who was wearing a yellow vest, and a girl with a pink shirt and skirt. The outfits we're very unusual.

"Sora! Riku! Kairi!" Mario shouted as he shook Sora's hand. "You'sa made it!"

"Mario!" Sora shouted. "Good to see you! Man you're looking great."

"He doesn't look any different from the last time we saw him." Riku said. "By the way, when are you going to help us pay for the damages to the Gummi ship?"

"Uhhh…." Mario began.

"Hey what'd they mean by that?" Link asked.

"Well you know…" Mario began. "Umm…uhh…You'sa see…oh god how do'I explain this…umm…it went like…"

"He got drunk when we we're at Hooters and crashed into our Gummi ship." Riku said. "About 20,000 munny worth of damage. Not that Sora can't pay for it mind you; which I don't why he is. Taking the bus and train to work is such a damn hassle."

"Wha…what we're you doing at Hooters?" Link asked.

"Duh!" Sora shouted. "Free wing night man! Are you stupid? It's like you never have been to Hooters."

"Oh." Link said. "I see. So…who are you three?"

"Oh." Sora said. "I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Sora. This is Kairi. And this is Riku; a…k…a; the only serious one in this entire fanfic who won't be parodied in the least."

"Oh thanks a lot Sora!" Riku said. "Now the author and his brother are going to put me in a stupid parody or other scenario of equal or greater embarrassment."

"It's probably no worse than what they have planned for me!" Sora shouted. "So let's all shut up and enjoy the party."

"I agree." Kairi said. "So anyway…is there any food here? I have been starving since Sora dragged me out of bed in to go to this party."

"Wait a second…" Riku said. "You went to her house to drag her out of bed…while she was still asleep?"

"Well…" Sora said. "See, that's what her mom said. But when I went to drag her out her mom just stood there and watched the whole time. I don't know why still."

"Oh my god." A voice said behind Sora and the others. "Even in fanfiction, you are still completely oblivious to everything!"

Sora turned around to see a single person. He was wearing a black vest like coat, white shirt, black jeans, had a blade that was made in an unusual manner to make it look like a gun, and had long brown hair.

"Squall!" Sora shouted.

"Don't call me that." Squall said.

"Why Squall?" Sora asked. "I mean…that is your name right?"

Leon stared at Sora very intently. His gaze didn't leave him.

"Hey Sora, ever want to see how the inside of your intestines are?" Squall asked.

"Well…no that doesn't sound good." Sora said.

"Oh it's okay." Jack said in the background as he grabbed a cigarette from his pocket. "You'll just die."

"Oh." Sora said. "See that's what I want to avoid and all." Sora said.

"Then I suggest you call me Leon." Squall said. "Only one person can speak my true name. And she is currently at home with her period. Primary reason I went to this party was because I was looking for a way to get the hell out of that house."

"Good job." Riku said.

"Good call." Link said, clapping.

"Yeah." Sora said. "I mean girls on their periods are bad enough. You don't want to see Kairi when she's on her peri…"

"Hey Sora!" Kairi said in a calm voice. "Ever want to see how the inside of your intestines look?"

"Well no." Sora said.

"Then I suggest you shut up and never speak about what happened." Kairi said in a sadistic manner.

Kairi then began to walk away from the group, putting her hand through her hair. Sora and Riku just continued to stare as she passed by.

"You know…" Riku said. "I have a strange feeling Kairi is going to be on her period later on tonight or is now."

"Hey Mario!" Sora asked. "Is there a lot of rooms that I can hide and/or cower in?"

"Well sure!" Mario said. "I mean really, for $17,400,000 to build the whole thing, it better be."

"Good." Sora said. "I will be running recon of possible hiding spots and/or eating, and Riku will keep an eye on Kairi."

"Fuck you." Riku said as he wandered in the mansion, towards the kitchen. Sora simply laughed and walked by Jack as Jack and Scorpion continued to hang out around the area. Zero was currently tied up (again) and was being dragged away by Iris while Ciel chased after her. Jack looked at Scorpion.

"Hey can you light this?" he asked.

"Sure." Scorpion said as he took off his mask and fired a massive fireball at Jack's hand. However, Scorpion's fireball was too strong and completely obliterated the entire cigarette. Jack looked extremely pissed off as Scorpion looked at him with a really stupid grin that expressed the words"…Fuck."

"I'm going to kick your ass." Jack said.

"Mommy." Scorpion said.

Jack and Scorpion we're about to fight. Before they did though, they stopped to watch Sub-Zero run around the room for a few seconds, ablaze, screaming "I'M ON FIRE!" before running out into the hallway. Snake continued to watch and laugh. His cell phone rang a few seconds later. He grabbed it, flipped it up, and then answered it.

"Hello." He asked.

"Yeah; Snake." Simon Belmont said over the phone. "It's Simon."

"Simon; where the hell are you!?" Snake said.

"I…I…I don't know." Simon said. "I'm…I'm lost."

"Wait…" Snake began. "You mean to tell me the great Simon Belmont…the master castle explorer…is lost?"

"Ye...yeah." Simon said. "Uhh…could you tell me where the kitchen is?"

"No wait." Snake said. "Give me a moment. I got to go laugh hysterically in a corner."

Snake put down his phone and went into the living room. A loud roaring laughter could be heard from the room. Jack and others stood still as the laughter continued to roam the hallways. While that was going Link began to look around the room for a few seconds. After that, he asked Altair who was wandering the hallways around the area.

"Hey." Link asked. "Where did Zelda and Ezio go?"

"Do…do…do you honestly have to ask that?" Altair said.

Altair began to walk off. Link began to think about it for a few seconds. After a few minutes of thinking, Link shot up.

"Oh no fucking way!" Link said. "You mean to tell me that he actually pulled it off!?"

"Well…" Altair said. "As Desmond likes to call him, he is the master-debater."

"Wow…" Link said, "That…was pretty good line actually."

"**HA!" FEARFAN shouted. "He did the thing you couldn't possibly hope to do in the last seven-plus games!"**

**Link got made after the author had made that comment and grabbed his bow and fired an arrow in the air. A loud ear piercing scream was heard. Suddenly, time stopped all around the brawlers and the house. The whole area turned without color as the author shot back in pain from his laptop.**

"**GOD DAMN SO OF A!" FEARFAN shouted.**

"**Umm…do you need a band-aid?" Dominator046 asked.**

"**I have a fucking arrow in my eye." FEARFAN said. "Yeah; a band-aid will work wonders."**

"**I don't know." Roythemanslayer said. "Why wouldn't it?"**

"**Quick Dom!" FEARFAN shouted. "What's the number for 911?"**

**A long awkward silence occurred all around FEARFAN's basement. FEARFAN looked at his brother and friend with a very angry look.**

"**Don't you dare say anything." FEARFAN said.**

"**Anything?" Dominator046 asked with a smirk.**

"**Anything." FEARFAN said, still with the arrow in his eye.**

"**Anything?" Dominator046 asked.**

"**Shut the fuck up and call the hospital!" FEARFAN said.**

"**K!" Dominator046 said, picking up the white phone in the kitchen and dialed 911. "My friend got shot, and we were wondering if we could have some burgers? This is an emergency, I think he's having a big mac attack... oh yeah and you'll want to take him to the hospital.... yeah just bring me a double quarter pounder and we'll be good. Alright, okay, thanks. Bye."**

"**I HATE ALL OF YOU!" FEARFAN shouted. "Nick! Stop masturbating in the corner and help me!"**

"**Shut up; this is how I think!" Roythemanslayer shouted.**

**Mike was then carried away by an ambulance. Dominator046 then went over to the laptop and began to type away at this Fanfiction. Time suddenly returned to normal and eve**rything began to resume back at the mansion in normal time.

Desmond was staring at Link, in a rather odd manner. "What did you just do?"

"I shot the author." Link said, putting his bow away. "Mess with the goat rancher, and you get a game centered protagonist."

"I see." Desmond said, and then, suddenly, jittered around a bit.

"Uhh, Desmond?" Link asked, slowly reaching out to grab his shoulder.

"**Hey dude, it's me, Dominator046." **The new and equally unshotified author said.

"Oh, hey man, did you want something to drink?"

"**No, as much as I was going to hit this party, I'm now the author, so I'm stuck playing the ref... anyways, I just wanted to know that I'll be looking out for you, some people may get a bit weird, but trust me, you're in good hands." **Dominator046 said with a wink.

"Okay, thanks." Link said back, with a smile.

"**Alright, now, I'm going to let Desmond be Desmond now, just give me a shout if you need anything.**" Dominator046 said. "**Oh and here's a little wedding present from me to you and Ilia." **

With that Desmond went back to normal, and a phone could be heard going off in the distance followed by Ganondorf saying. "Oh, cool, a voice message from some dude called Dominator, this has to be good."

Link ran into the room, just in time for everyone to hear the following message play on Ganondorf's phone.

"Hey look, me, the guy with the phone. I suck dick! I suck dick! Man do I just love sucking dick! I just can't get enough of dick! Someone pulls out a dick and I say, 'Can I hit that?'"

Needless to say, everyone was laughing their asses off, including Link. And Ganondorf was poised to destroy his phone, but he realized that he couldn't, seeing as how he'd have to replace it and pay penalties. And he found that he couldn't shut the message off.

"Hey'ya Ganondorf, you should go-and-a' find Captain Falcon somewhere, I'm a sure he'd be willing' to oblige." Mario said, barely able to breathe after that.

"Oh, my guts 'a brother, I can't breathe." Luigi said, laying on his side.

"Oh sure!" Ganondorf shouted. "That means a whole lot coming from the plumber who can't even get the women he likes!"

"Hey!" Mario said. "All I got to do is snap my fingers!"

Ilia attempted to walk over to Link, but ended up propped against a wall, unable to walk any further.

"YOU ALL SUCK!" Ganondorf yelled.

"Didn't you listen to the message?" Samus said, still chuckling. "You're probably better at it than anyone here."

"Spoken from the master." Wario said.

There was a drop in loudness as a few of them stopped laughing. Wario grimaced before being grabbed by an angry Samus and pulled into another room.

When she walked out, Wario's voice was a few octaves higher.

"Uh... Wario, is You'sa okay?" Luigi said, waving his hand in front of Wario's blue face.

The next part was hilarious, not only because Wario's voice sounded like a chipmunk on helium, but because of what he said as well.

"I think I'm going to throw up."

**YEAH DUDES/DUDETTES, we got ourselves a new deputy marshal in town, and he is not afraid to abuse his powers and cause pain, isn't that right Wario?**

"My balls hurt."

**Exactly, now, let's continue.**

The hilarity downstairs had subsided, and Desmond was roaming the halls, he had needed to use the bathroom, and had done that. Now he was just exploring.

Suddenly, a door flung open in front of him, and a mostly stripped down Zero was attempting to flee the room, Desmond watched, as two pairs of arms tried to yank him back in. Desmond smirked as Zero strained against the two mostly stripped girls.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAN HELP ME!!" Zero called, holding on to the door frame to keep from being pulled back in.

"Sorry dude, I'm pretty sure keeping an innocent from getting laid is against the creed." Desmond said, shutting the door. "If it isn't, it certainly should be."

In the faint background, one could hear Zero screaming for help, and the occasional cry of 'Rape!'

In another portion of the Castle, Link and Ilia were just sitting down on the stairs, relaxing.

"Man, breakfast was wild... I can't wait till' the game actually starts." Link said, wrapping an arm over her shoulders, and pulling her close to him.

"Yeah, just make sure to save some energy for later, okay?" Ilia said, in her normally sweet voice that made the advice all the more enticing.

"Will do." Link said, giving her a kiss, before standing up. "I better go make sure our son isn't mass messaging that voice message to everyone, I don't want him to wind up like Wario." Link said, chuckling.

"Yeah, while you're doing that, I'm going to go relax." Ilia said, standing up.

"Would you like my help with that my sweet?" said a voice, before, Sub-Zero appeared right next to her.

'Oh hell no buddy.' Link thought, as Sub-Zero started.

"You know, I might be made of ice, but there are few things as hot as you." Sub-Zero said. He noticed how Ezio was able to get Zelda, Sub-Zero thought he was apparently as smooth.

"Uhh, thanks." Ilia said, taking a step back.

"Hey, is the A button in your pants? Because I want to tap that ass." Sub-Zero said, rather loudly.

"THAT'S IT." Link said, before walking up to Sub-Zero. Not knowing his son and Saria had just stumbled into the room.

Sub-Zero looked at him and said "Yeah, what do you wa..."

Was all he managed to say, before Link punched him in the face hard enough to send him over the side of the stairs, and down the fall off the side. And if that wasn't bad enough, he landed on a torch. His screams of "I'M ON FIRE!!!" Could be heard throughout the halls.

"You can mess with me, you can make jokes about my sexuality, you can eat my birthday cake," He said, referring to the surprise party Mario threw for him that Wario was accidentally told about. "But when you fuck, with MY wife, MY friends, or MY family. I'M GOING TO BEAT YOUR ASS!" Link yelled, in the direction Sub-Zero ran.

"Thank you." Ilia said, smiling, as she gave him a kiss. "I'll be chatting with the others, you can go find that guy if you want. I think our son enjoyed the show."

Link looked over, surprised to see his son and Saria there. He knew he probably wouldn't hear the end of what he did for a long while.

Meanwhile.

Sub-Zero had managed to put himself out, and was sitting in one of the many parlors of the mansion, when a chair began to shake just as Desmond did earlier. Then, the chair started to rise, then levitate in a manner as if someone was holding it as a weapon.

"**Hey Douche bag." **The chair said.

"wha..." Sub-Zero said, before he was smashed over the head with the chair, and knocked out cold.

"**Don't you EVER... FUCK... WITH MY FAVORITE PAIRING!" **The chair, which was controlled by Dominator046 said. While Sub-Zero was out cold, he took shampoo bottles from **FEARFAN'S** bathroom (only the white ones), and began to spill their contents around the room. Then, he tacked a note to Sub-Zero's forehead.

"Ganondorf was here.

P.S. I suck dick."

**Alrighty then, something tells me the fun is just getting started, I have to go pick up the owned one from the hospital now, so I hope you all have a good day.**

**...oh what the hell!**

***get's a can of spray paint, then writes on the invisible screen that FEARFAN bought to block out the brawlers, the print reads.***

**DOMINATOR046 WANTS TO BE INVITED TO THE NEXT PARTY!**

"**Okay I'm back!" FEARFAN shouted as he went through the door to his place.**

"**So it's all good right?" Roythemanslayer said.**

"**Of course!" FEARFAN said.**

**All three people we're roaring with laughter.**

"**I lost the use of my left arm." FEARFAN said.**

**A long awkward silence ensued.**

"**Mike…Mike… Mike…Mike… Mike…Mike… Mike…Mike…" Roythemanslayer said. "Are you a righty?"**

"**Uhh…yeah." FEARFAN said. **

"**Then you can still masturbate!" Roythemanslayer said. "It's all good people! We're good!"**

"**So what happened while I was…holy fuck."**

"**Yeah." Dominator046 said. "It was awesome."**

"**Damn straight!" FEARFAN said.**

"**Neither did I, it just goes to show you, you got to expect anything. But, you got to be willing to trust to." Dominator046 said.**

"**Hey where's my bro?" FEARFAN asked.**

"**Taken care of." Dominator046.**

**FEARFAN looked towards the direction of the closet to here his brother hand cuffed to the wall of the closet and hanging there.**

"**It's okay." Roythemanslayer said. "My wrists are so powerful from masturbation that I can reach around it."**

"**Yeah, I did not need to know that." FEARFAN said. "I guess I need to continue."**

**Mike then returned to his laptop and t**he story resumed back to normal. Suddenly several people who vanished earlier when Dominator046 took over suddenly returned out of nowhere.

"Whoa…" Jack said. "What the fuck…where'd I go just now?"

"That's what I was hoping you could tell me." Duo said.

Suddenly a loud hissing noise appeared on the top of the ceiling. Everyone looked up to see a green saber cutting a hole through a vent. Everyone looked up to see Zero cut a hole through one of the vent shafts and land on the floor.

"You bastard!" He shouted at Desmond. "You left me there!"

"Hey I got you laid!" Desmond shouted. "You should be thanking my ass!"

"By fan girls!" Zero shouted.

There with some uproars of laughter, but there we're other people who "oohhed."

"I heard a lot of laughter and I heard some ooohhhs." Link said. "Those who oohhed, they we're attacked by fan girls before…and they remember those days."

As soon as the words "fan girls" reached Squall's ears, Squall immediately grabbed both of his legs with his feet, sat down on the ground, and began to rock back and forth.

"It didn't happen…" Squall said. "IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!"

"Dude Squall are you alright!?" Sora asked.

"Yes." He said.

"I don't know…" Sora began. "You look pale and…"

"Shut up Sora!" Squall said.

"Okay." Sora said.

"You know what…" Zero said. "I'm just going to go back up there and take it like a bitch."

"Good choice." Desmond said as Zero went upstairs.

A few minutes later, Ezio returned from upstairs. Ezio was wearing nothing but his pants while Zelda was nothing more in a small night gown that barely went her thighs. Everyone one of the single guys turned towards Zelda's direction.

"Awe…aw…aw…aw…awesome." Snake said.

"Men." Samus said.

"Lips…legs…breasts…and ass!" Jack said.

"Agreeable." Snake said.

"All of you are disgusting perverts!" Samus said.

"Hey just to add to this…" Snake said. "I should mention that for the last five hours I have been staring at nothing but your ass. And that skirt you're wearing is making me horny."

"Trust me." Samus said. "You can't handle me."

"Oh I know I can." Snake said.

"Whatever." Samus said. "I'm going to take a piss. I'll be right back."

Samus left the room and began to head downstairs where the toilets we're. Snake continued to watch her until she had left the room. After that, he got up.

"Okay!" He said. "Time for some Metal Gear Solid!"

Everyone went over to Zelda and began to crowd around her on the fact of what she and Ezio had done in the bedroom.

"So…" Ilia said when she went over to Zelda. "How was it?"

"Amazing." Zelda said, putting her hand on her heart. "It was magical. I never felt so alive and so euthastic. Ezio Is such a master at what he does."

"Both at speech and performance my lady." Ezio said.

"Wow, congratulations Zelda." Ilia said. "I'm glad that you found someone that can take care of you for the rest of your time."

As soon as Ilia said that, Ezio seemed to have vanished from behind Zelda and was nowhere to be seen. Zelda and Ilia turned around to see that the great Assassin had turned tail and ran.

"Where did Ezio go?" Zelda asked.

"Ahh man." Ilia said. "What a bastard."

"My descendant in his prime." Altair said.

"Thank you for the wonderful time." Zelda said. "If you'll excuse me…nature calls."

Zelda begun to move down the stairs in a very quick, but calm and organized manner. She ran to the first floor and towards the direction of the bathroom.

"Oh crap." Sub-Zero said.

"What?" Young Link asked who came in.

"This is the time where all the girls are going to need the bathroom because of the food and all the water they drank." Sub-Zero said. "Then they're all going to need to pee and they're going to hold up the lines. We guys all know how long girls like to take in the bathroom."

"Oh crap." Saria said. "All that water I drank earlier I think is starting to come back to me."

"Umm…" Young Link said. "You'll be fine right?"

"I'll be fine!" Saria said. "I…I just to do things to take my mind off of it."

Snake began to crawl on the floor and began to sneak slowly behind Samus. Everyone then began to place bets on how it would turn out. While they did that, the doorbell rang. Mario answered the door to see Ike, Marth, Roy, and a blue haired girl.

"Guys!" Mario said. "Good to see that you have arrived.

"Mario!" Ike said. "Glad we could come. I heard this party from all the text messages I was receiving from Sonic indicates this is going to be a huge one this year"

"Oh It'sa already crazy." Mario said. "Two couples' have already had sex."

"Three." Young Link said under his breath. Saria and he began to laugh quietly.

"…Damn." Ike said. "I missed action…wait! Was one of them Samus?!"

"Uhh…No." Mario said.

"Okay thank god." Ike said. "Guys! We still have a chance!"

"What are you talking about?" Roy asked. "I brought Liliana over here for a reason."

Ike and Marth looked at Roy.

"Okay guys." Roy said. "This is Liliana. She's my girlfriend. Please try to avoid embarrassing me."

"Hey Roy!" Jack shouted. "You brought a hooker! Sweet!"

Liliana began to blush and cling to Roy.

"She's not a hooker Jack." Roy said. "She's my girlfriend!"

"Could have fooled me with that small skirt!" Jack said.

"I will kick your ass!" Roy shouted.

"Hey shut up!" Jack said. "I have a chainsaw on my left arm and Mad World is one of the hardest Wii games on the market! When you complete Mad World on hard, come back to me."

"HA!" Roy laughed. "Just try completing my game then!"

Jack and Roy got into each other's face, each of them with their weapons out and ready to fight. Liliana went over to Marth looking confused, while Ike was in the background yelling, "Fight!" Marth got up from where he was at and put his hands out in an effort to calm down the others.

"So…could we…you know…not fight?" Marth asked.

"Shut up Pansy!" Both Roy and Jack said.

"Hey guys!" Liliana said as he jumped up. "I need to go to the bathroom!"

"Oh god!" Sub-Zero said. "IT HAS BEGUN!"

"It'sa down that way." Mario said. "The water faucet is broke so it may difficult to get the water to come out. "

Saria began to moan as she clasped her crotch.

"Damn." She said. "I really got to go now!"

"Try to ignore it." Young Link said.

"Yeah well that's really hard when you're the sage of the forest!" Saria said. She suddenly flinched upward when she had said that.

"I suddenly realized I didn't help!" Saria said. "I'll be right back people!"

Saria and the Liliana began to run down the hall towards the toilet. Some of the people in the room began to laugh at the ordeal. While they laughed, Captain Falcon came in.

"It's me!" Captain Falcon shouted. "Captain Falcon is in the house!"

"Gay!" Squall said.

"Hey!" Captain Falcon shouted. "That's not funny."

"Lose the skin tight suit man." Young Link said. "Wario says it only looks good on Samus."

"I think it's funny; I don't know what you're saying." Desmond said.

"Hey you weren't even in Brawl!" Captain Falcon shouted. "Shut up!"

"Hey!" Desmond shouted. "I'm too cool to be in Brawl. I was in one of the all time best selling games ever."

"But you didn't sell out more than Ocarina of Time." Link said.

"FUCK YOU LINK!" Desmond shouted before running off in crying in some random direction. Altair just sat on his couch and continued to stay there. Wario went over to Captain Falcon and began to speak.

"Hey weren't we making gay jokes about Captain Falcon earlier?" Wario asked.

When Captain Falcon, he went over to Wario. Wario looked up with a completely scared expression.

"FALCON!...CROTCH SHOT!!!" Captain Falcon shouted.

Captain Falcon used his fist and smashed into Wario's balls. Wario just stood there. Never moving. Never saying anything. He just stood there. Completely still.

"Wario; are you alright?" Mario asked.

He never responded.

**I would like to thank my friend Dominator046. Dominator046 and I actually did a con-joint chapter for this one. He actually wrote some of this chapter as well as me. Anyone who wishes to join in this con-joint Fanfiction, send a message and we will determine in some crazy way how you will appear.**

**Please go to my profile and find my favorite authors list to find Dominator046. Roythemanslayer is my brother, but he does not have a fanfiction account…yet.**


	6. Guests Arrive FINAL

**FEARFAN: Shit, this fanfic is finally grabbing attention from other users.**

**Roythemanslayer: Finally! My perverted lifestyle is finally going noticed.**

**Dominator046: Question: Isn't that something you're normally not wanting people to find out?**

**Roythemanslayer: It's over the internet; I don't give a damn.**

**NeoNazo356: Hey guys what's going on?**

**FEARFAN: NEONAZO356!!!!**

**NeoNazo356: FEARFAN!!!! I got your text! Let's do this!**

**FEARFAN: Later…right now we're watching what's happening.**

**Zammy: Hey guys can I join in!?**

**Dominator046: Wow our team is expanding!**

**FEARFAN: All part of my genius plan \)**

**CURRENT TIME: 1:00 Four hours until Kick-off**

Most of the people had finished their first round of food already and we're proceeding to go back in the kitchen. Most of them we're. Some of the people we're still lounging in the other room. Wario was still standing in the exact same spot that he was standing at in the previous chapter because of the "Falcon Crotch Shot." Mario was now waiting at the door with some food and keeping a lookout for other people, seeing as people we're beginning to flow through into the house at an alarming rate. There we're very few people left on the guest list that needed to arrive still.

Ilia, Krystal, and Kat we're all together in the living room as Fox and Falcon continued to attempt to set up the TV in a position where it wouldn't fall.

"So who are you exactly?" Krystal asked.

"I'm Link's wife Ilia." She said.

"Ahh so Link was married?" Kat said. "Sorry we really didn't believe him. Samus liked to tease him a lot about that whole thing and just shook each attempt off."

"Well then he's doing his job as a husband; and I love him for that." Ilia said.

"Wish my man was like that." Kat said. "YOU HEAR ME FALCO!?"

"All I can hear right now is the sound of Fox yelling in my ear as we try to set up this damn thing so we can watch the game!"

"HEY!" Fox shouted. "If I don't get to see the Who do Teenage Wasteland in High Definition on a seventy inch plasma flat screen, it's going to be your fault! Now move slightly to the right."

"I can't!" Falco shouted. "There's a wall in my way."

"No not your right; my right." Fox said.

"Fox stop moving it; it's going to fall." Falco said.

"Move it forward then." Fox said.

"I can't move it anymore…" Falco began.

"No; move it slightly to the right while moving it forward." Fox said.

"You are making no sense!" Falco shouted. "There is not enough room for me to be able to do that."

"Just push it forward." Fox said. "No…wait…backwards a bit."

"UGH!" Falco shouted.

Ilia, Kat, and Krystal we're watching the two animal like people attempt to set up the TV. SO far, they we're no closer to their goal than they we're in the last chapter (or the chapter before that). Ilia put her hand on her head.

"Oh my god…" She said. "They are exactly how Link is back home sometimes."

"Is he like that all the time?" Krystal asked.

"Just during events like this." Ilia said.

"You know I can hear you right through the vents." Link said in sort of a serious tone, who was a floor below them. However he changed the tone of his voice a second later. "…but she's right."

"Love you honey." Ilia said.

"Love you too." Link said, with an immediate change of tone from depressed to loving.

"Hey guys!" Simon Belmont shouted from a floor above them through the vent. "Anyone know where the stairs are!? I'm lost up here and I got to take a shit!"

"We don't know." Ilia said. "This is my first time here."

"You two!?" Krystal shouted. "Me too!"

"Same here!" Kat said. "Wow…our men need to take to us to more places."

"I know." Ilia said. "They always get all the fun. We're going to have to have some fun ourselves!"

"You know what, fuck this." Simon said. "You guys are no help and…OH SWEET! There's another bathroom!"

"Wha…really!?" Ilia asked.

"Yeah…see in you five minutes…or whenever I find out where I am." Simon said.

The sound of a door closing and locking was heard upstairs.

"So…should we like tell the other girls who are line in front of Samus about that?"

"No, no no no." Kat said. "Let's not…it'll be funny."

"You're evil." Krystal said.

"I know!" Falco said.

"No Falco, more to the left!" Fox shouted.

"God damn it; I'm doing the best I can here!" Falco said.

Ilia, Krystal, and Kat continued to watch the epic fail before them. Fox and Falco we're trying to correct the TV's slanted position while arguing among themselves. Ilia put her hand on her chin and began to think.

"Where have I seen this before?" She asked.

"Family Guy: Blue Harvest." Kat said.

"Oh yeah." Ilia said.

Ike was merely lounging on the couch next to Altair (who hasn't moved from the couch since Chapter 5). Mario was still by the door, as well as Wario (Although Wario was considered a statue at this point so no one really acknowledged his presence). Roy was in the room with Liliana and they we're enjoying some breakfast.

"So like…what are you an Assassin or something?" Ike asked.

"No I am wearing this hood over my head to disguise my face and I am carrying all these weapons and equipment just to show off." Altair said. "Yes I'm a fucking Assassin!"

"Whoa…holy shit!" Ike said.

"Sorry…I'm very tense right now." Altair said. "I'm am Altair. Greatest Assassin who ever lived."

"I'm Ike." Ike said. "I'm leader of the Greil Mercenaries. I don't think I have ever seen you before."

"My ancestor Desmond is friends with Link…and Link asked him if he wanted to go to the party…and he said yes and dragged me and Ezio along with him." Altair said.

"Hold it…you're ancestor?" Ike asked. "How the hell are you here?"

"The author is a douche-bag." Altair said.

**All the people who we're joining in the creation of this fanfic looked at each other.**

"**So…" Dominator046 asked. "Which one is he talking about?"**

"**I don't know." FEARFAN said. "Let's keep watching."**

"Ahh." Ike said. "Well I wouldn't worry. You'll probably find something entertaining to do. Especially when game time starts. That's usually when it gets crazy around with us."

"Yeah and why is that?" Altair asked.

"Okay, seriously?" Ike asked. "We have an Italian plumber who shoots fire out of his arms, a gay elf…"

"I'm not gay!" Link shouted.

Ike and Altair looked at Link for a few seconds.

"And…uhh…we have a Fox who walks and talks and carry a blaster rifle…" Ike continued. "A woman who is always PMS, a guy who sneaks around in a box, a hedgehog on crack, and so many other things. It's going to get interesting; trust me."

"I see." Altair said. "I shall take your wisdom of the art of partying into account."

"…Wha?" Ike said. "English?"

"I am Arabian." Altair said.

"No I mean…" Ike began.

Ike was going to continue, but a second later, Jack returned chasing Scorpion. Jack had has chainsaw out and was running at full speed towards Scorpion.

"I'LL GET YOU FOR BURNING MY CIGERRETTE!" Jack shouted.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" Scorpion shouted.

Jack chased Scorpion and got real close to him. He then swung his chainsaw to the right. He missed Scorpion and continued to chase him; unaware that when he swung, he accidentally cut off Duo's hair which was in a ponytail. When Duo realized what had happened, he grabbed his face and went on his knee's.

"NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" He screamed.

Duo went on the ground and began to cry. Herro simply walked by.

"Oh please…it'll somehow regrow back within the next few chapters." Herro said.

Duo didn't make any statement and just continued to sob on the ground. Axl and X watched off to the side.

"Wow." Axl said. "I remember the time I tried to do that to Zero."

"But wait…" X said. "Didn't he beat you to a pulp afterwords?"

"Watch it X." Axl said. "I'm trying to remember the parts that I want to remember."

While the two we're talking, Zero walked up behind them and began to poke X on the shoulder. X turned around and saw Zero.

"Uhh…Zero." X said. "You alright?"

"I was raped by fan girls with and without my consent." Zero said. "I never been so traumatized in my whole life. First they ***Due to highly explicated nature, this portion of text has been removed; for I can't seem to adjust the rating of this fanfic any higher than M*** and then it was all calm afterward. It…was…AWESOME!!!"

X backed up a little bit as he saw Zero's head had grown twice its side and changed to a crazy anime type head, before returning to regular old Zero afterward. Axl was twitching from the whole details and X was just standing there.

"Wow." X said. "That was…very detailed."

"Excuse me guys; I'm going to go masturbate from the images in my mind that Zero put in." Axl said.

"Wash your hands." X said.

**Zammy looked at FEARFAN with great disgust.**

"**What!?" FEARFAN shouted. "It's rated M for a reason!"**

Samus walked over to the bathroom. After closing the door, she went over the toilet. After that, she sighed after looking at the toilet. She then pulled down some toilet paper and began to spread it out on the lid. The paper though didn't stay on and slipped into the toilet. Samus got irritated and pulled down some more. Then the door began to knock.

"Hey Samus." Zelda said. "Can you hurry up!? Me and Saria need to use the bathroom!"

"Oh crap." Samus said. "Great…now I have to hurry. Sometimes I wish I was a guy and didn't have to go through the painful process that women have to go through instead of just being in and out. Hold on!"

"That's what we have been doing!" Saria said.

It could be seen on the outside both girls doing the pee dance outside.

"Great." Zelda said. "Now we have to wait."

"Well at least there's this nice box we can sit on while we wait." Saria said as she sat down.

"Yeah." Zelda said. "Funny I never saw this earlier when me and Ezio…you know…"

"Yeah when he fucked you." Saria said. "I get it. I do it to Young Link all the time."

Zelda looked completely shocked and surprised while Saria had her hands on her mouth because of what she had just said. Her face had turned completely beet red after saying that.

"I gotta go…find another bathroom." Saria said.

And thus Saria's adventure for a bathroom began as she ran away from Zelda, while desperately holding on to herself.

The doorbell rung some seconds later. Mario went over to the door and opened it up. At the door there was a man who carried a large Buster Blade on his back. Mario went over and shook his hand.

"Cloud!" Mario said. "Glad you'sa could make it."

"Glad I could too." Cloud said. " I need a break from fighting Sephiroth all the time."

All of a sudden the entire room began to shake and the entire room began to shake and soon the entire house as well. Everyone began to hold onto the ground. Samus in the bathroom tried to keep herself on the toilet while Zelda tried to keep herself on her chair, while holding her crotch.

"I'm going to bust!" Zelda said.

"This is extremely uncomfortable right now!" Simon shouted through the vent.

"Save the TV!" Falco and Fox shouted as they tried to keep it from falling.

Mario and the others in the main room looked up as the earthquake continued and saw someone materialize in a beam of light in the middle of the room. He had long silver hair, wore a black outfit that held one wing on it, and carried a long sword on his belt. He got up from his bended knee and looked right at Cloud.

"Cloud." Sephiroth said.

"Sephiroth." Cloud said.

"I have come for you…BECAUSE I BROUGHT BEER!" Sephiroth said.

Everyone watched as Sephiroth pulled out a brown bag and pulled out several Corona's from his bag. Cloud looked at him confused for a few seconds. After that, Cloud and Sephiroth screamed like fan girls and hugged each other. Words formed below them saying "Super Bowl – Bringing people together" like those commercials before the actual game. After the performance from the two morons, the doorbell immediately rang again. Mario opened the door to see Kirby was there.

"HHHIII!" Kirby shouted.

"Is he taunting me or just saying Hi?" Ike asked.

"Saying Hi Ike." Mario said.

"Oh thank god." Ike said. "I hate it when he camps in Brawl and just says that over and over."

"Me too." Marth said.

"Shut up pansy." Ike said.

"Good to see you Kirby." Mario said. "Glad you'sa could make it."

Mario quickly went over to Link and whispered into his air.

"Better hide's a good portion of the food." Mario said.

"On it." Link said.

Link quickly ran out of the room and began to head towards the kitchen. While he did that, Sonic ran through the door as well. Mario grabbed his head and kept his hat from falling off. And then Mario got back up and looked at Sonic.

"Where the hell we're you?" Mario asked.

"Well I was bored so I ran all over the house and went through everything." Sonic said. "After that, I watched Jack chase Scorpion for all of chapter 5 except when…Dom…Dom…whatever the hell is name took over…"

**While Sonic was talking, NeoNazi356 was busy holding down Dominator046 to keep him from appearing in the fan fiction and murdering Sonic.**

"**I'LL KILL HIM!" He shouted. "HOW DARE HE FORGET ME!"**

"**It's not worth it man!" NeoNazo356 shouted. "It's not worth it!"**

"So then when Jack reappeared, he began to chase Scorpion again for burning his cigarette; which is clearly stupid seeing as he has plenty in his jacket…or was that his last…I don't know anymore. The guy always seems to have infinite. Then I felt like a milkshake, but then I remembered it's 12:00 PM and milkshakes wouldn't be expected until later. So I ran out of the house and went to Sonic and then here I am."

"Wow…" Mario said. "You'sa had a real active morning."

"Yeah well I'm not the world's fastest for nothing." Sonic said.

While Mario and Sonic we're talking, Luigi came in and began to look at Wario who was still standing still from the whole ordeal.

"Uhh…Wario?" Luigi asked.

Luigi touched Wario on the shoulder. As soon as he did, Wario exploded in a massive burst of energy. Wario turned into a bunch of sparks and fizzles of energy.

"OH MY GOD!" Luigi shouted.

"What?" Wario asked as soon as he ran over to Luigi from behind rubbing his head.

Luigi immediately became confused as he looked back to where Wario exploded and where he was now.

"Wait…what…huh…I don't…ahh forget it." Luigi said.

While Mario and Sonic we're talking, the doorbell rang again. Mario answered it to see Peach at the door.

"Hello Mario!" Peach said.

Mario got a proud look on his face and snapped his fingers. As soon as he did, Peach became immediately excited and grabbed Mario and began to drag him to another room.

"I'sa tolds you so!" Mario shouted as Peach began to drag him.

"FUCK YOU!" Ganondorf shouted.

"Yeah!" Bowser said.

"Whoa!" Ganondorf said as he jumped. "When the fuck did you get here!?"

"Just now." Bowser said. "C'mon the door was open. Why the fuck not!? Free dinner anyway."

"Oh yeah I hear you there." Ganondorf said as he did the traditional punch each others fist greeting.

Sonic stood there laughing.

"Hehe…" Sonic said. "Give it to her good old man."

The doorbell rang and the Sonic opened the door. Lucario and Pit we're there.

"Hey guys!" Sonic said. "How's it going you to?"

"It's all good." Pit said. "I'm glad we came here. Better then the SSB Headquarters."

"Yes." Lucario said. "Where's Mewtwo!? I must show him why I replaced him in the Brawl roster."

"Didn't you look at Chapter 1?" Sonic said. "He's not coming in this fanfiction."

"Son of a…" Lucario said. "When are we ever going to be able to settle this?"

"Well seeing as Mewtwo was not in the roster for Brawl…never." Sonic said.

"AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHHH!" Lucario shouted.

"Relax." Sonic said. "I'm here."

"So…" Pit said as he walked in. "All your games suck. Sonic Heroes, remember?"

"I've never heard of that game before." Sonic said nervously. "You must be talking to the wrong Sonic."

Pit and Lucario walked into the room and began to lounge around. Sonic breathed a sigh of relief and was about to walk away from the door when the doorbell rang again. Sonic opened the door to see four children in front of the door. One of them was wearing a white button up shirt with black pants. There we're two girls. One with orange hair and the other with short blue hair. The other boy had white hair and black pants.

"Hey." Shinji said. "We're Young Link's friends. Is he here?"

"Yep." Sonic said. "Hey Young Link your friends are here!"

"Awesome." Young Link said.

Young Link jumped on the railing and slid down. He jumped over by Shinji and shook his hand.

"Nice to see you made it." Young Link said. "Asuka…nice to see you came."

"Nice to see you too." She said. "Are you still with that Saria girl?"

"Yeah." Young Link. "What about you; did you find someone yet?"

"Oh I have my special someone right between my fingers." Asuka said.

Asuka went away from the group and began to search around the whole mansion. Shinji looked extremely confused on what happened. But then decided not to care.

"Kaworu…" Young Link said. "Nice to see you. Rei…"

Link went to shake Rei's hand, but she just stood still and made no response.

"Okay…your still anti-social…got it." Young Link said. "Nice to see you."

Meanwhile back at the Living room, Fox and Falco continued to try and set the TV up. Ilia, Krystal, and Kat we're looking at them as if they we're all morons. After a few more minutes, Ilia got up and went over to the TV.

"Don't worry." Fox said. "We got it."

"No you don't." Ilia said. "Let me do it."

Ilia moved the TV slightly forward on the desk. After that, the TV was in perfect on the Entertainment center. Fox and Falco looked in complete surprise.

"How…how…how did you do that!?" Falco said.

"I'm a housewife." She said. "I know how to do this stuff."

Ilia walked away from the area and went downstairs towards the direction of the main party guests. Fox and Falco just stood there dumbfounded. Minutes later, Simon's voice was heard from the vents.

"Ahhh…" he said. "That's so much better. So…anyone want to help me?"

**FEARFAN: Another chapter done.**

**Roythemanslayer: Dude we're getting closer to the game.**

**FEARFAN: Yeah I'm going to have rewatch some of it and get some of the highlights. Got to have those man. **

**Dominator046: Don't forget about the commercials man.**

**FEARFAN: Ahh yeah those two.**

**Zammy: I'm shocked to say I'm the only one here with who missed the game.**

**FEARFAN: *Gasp* It cannot be!**

**Zammy: Hey I got my Liger cosplay to work on! You think that's easy!?**

**FEARFAN: Fuck...she got me there.**

**NeoNazo356: So...when can we expect another Chapter for Code Rockman?**

**Zammy: Yah!**

**FEARFAN: Whenever I feel like it...GOD!**

**Roythemanslayer: Your gay for referencing Napoleon Dynamite.**

**FEARFAN: Fuck you.**

**Roythemanslayer: Not my fault you don't have any friends.**

_**firespin97-ROARING INFERNO...if you are reading this chapter...I will allow you to con-join, but only if you enable PMs. I refuse to cooperate with people who do that because it is nearly impossible to communicate. Give me some com and we'll put you in.**_


	7. Good Times Among Friends

**Zammy: Man about time you started this.**

**FEARFAN: Hey shut up! I got a life other than my fanfiction you know.**

**Dominator408: WarCraft III doesn't count man.**

**FEARFAN: No seriously I do.**

**NeoNaze356: Sssuuurreee…**

**FEARFAN: *Points at Dominator046* Fuck you. *Points at NeoNaze356* Fuck you. *Points at Zammy* I'll be fucking you later. *Points at Roythemanslayer* Fuck you. *Points at random human being* And…I …don't even know you. Bah! On to the Fanfic!**

**CURRENT TIME: 3:00 Two hours until kickoff.**

Nothing had really changed in the two hours. The house had become fairly full, but because of it's size, no one had taken too much notice. The bathroom line (actually it cleared an hour and forty minutes ago) had finally cleared, although Saria had not got a chance to go yet, due to the fact she had decided to look for another, and she had become very desperate. But she is not important and therefore we leave her for the time being.

Right now the Living room had become the biggest entertainment room. Most of the Brawlers we're in this room eating and drinking. The current entertainment they we're having was watching, Desmond Miles, Zero, Duo, and Samus play Modern Warfare 2; with Samus in the lead by 700 points. Desmond looked extremely pissed.

"Okay!" He shouted. "It's bad enough that I'm suspended from Xbox Live for yelling at noobs, I'M NOT LOSING TO A GIRL!"

"Oh please." Samus said. "I've actually been in REAL Modern Warfare before; hell not even! I've been actual futuristic warfare. And even without my suit at only satisfaction I'm going to get is making you three look like an idiot."

"And right now, you are doing a damn fine job!" Duo shouted with the angriest expression a human being could ever give.

Zero wasn't even talking. He was too busy trying to play the game with the angriest expression X had ever seen him with in the longest time. Steam was practically coming out of his ears (No seriously…steam was coming out of ears). Iris and Ciel we're currently all over Zero. Axl looked at Zero with jealousy, while X simply enjoyed the performances that was being put on by three. Eventually Samus knifed Zero in the back and Samus won the game with a score of 10,000. Zero got angry and threw his controller at Axl, knocking him off the couch.

"Never liked Modern Warfare anyway." Zero said.

"Ow…my eye." Axl said.

"Fuck!" Desmond said. "Got to be kidding me. I lost on my own system. That's just great. All the guys at the bar are going to be laughing at me when this gets back."

"They already do that." Altair said, tending to an Eagle.

Everyone seemed to gasp and move away from Altair, seeing as no one had seen him do much other than sit and look pissed off. The fact that he suddenly was now tending an Eagle made the people around him more uneasy and more scared.

"Where'd that Eagle come from?" Young Link asked.

"Oh this little guy." Altair said as he put a piece of meat in it's mouth. "He always seems to find me no matter where I go."

"Oh right." Desmond said. "Those View Point thingies."

"Well do you have it inside the house!?" Mario asked.

"Yes." Altair said. "Don't worry; what's the worst it can do?"

"Hey guys!" Wario shouted as he appeared from the stairs to the room.

As soon as Wario entered the room, the Eagle was resting on Altair's shoulders suddenly got up and flew towards Wario. It then began to rapidly pick at Wario. Wario ran around screaming trying to get out of where the bird was.

"AAHHH!" He shouted. "Get it off! Get it off!"

Everyone really didn't even take notice. They stared at Wario for a few seconds while he fhailed his arms all over the place and ran everywhere as the bird began to peck him. Everyone then resumed watching Samus set up another game of Modern Warfare.

"Why did the Eagle attack him?" Sora asked.

"Because I told it to." Altair said.

"You didn't even say anything." Sora said.

"It knew what I was thinking." Altair said.

Riku was looking at Altair all confused.

"What am I thinking of right now?" Riku said.

The eagle stopped attacking Wario and then flew by Riku. Using it's talons, it grabbed Riku by the hair. Slowly the Eagle ascended, taking Riku along with him.

"Ahh!" Riku shouted. "OH GOD! SORA! HELP ME! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

The Eagle flew in the air and began to fly out the window. Riku disappeared as the Eagle flew away from the area. Luigi and Altair watched as Eagle flew away.

"So…umm…where did you get the Eagle?" Luigi asked.

Altair did nothing except smile at Luigi. Luigi could hear the flapping of wings.

"You know what…nevermind." Luigi said.

Duo and Samus then played a one on one match against each other in Modern Warfare 2. The match ended with Samus as the victor. As well as the next few matches ended. Zero and the others simply watched Duo's desperate attempt to be beat Samus. Samus knifed him and shot and got kill after kill. Eventually Duo gave up and sat down. Samus got up and began to put her 360 away.

"Man that was boring." Desmond said. "Can't believe I lost on my own system. Oh well. Hey Samus! What else do you have in here, game wise?"

"Oh you know." She said. "The popular ones: Halo 3, Left 4 Dead, Final Fantasy XIII, Assassins Creed…"

"Oh seriously!" Desmond shouted. "You got my game! Sweet! Hey, you don't mind if I play it for a bit?"

"Sure." Samus said. "GO ahead."

"Sweet!" Desmond shouted. "I can now play with myself!"

Everyone gasped in the room with shouts of surprise or disgust.

"No homo." He said.

"Ahhh…" Everyone said.

Altair still looked incredibly confused.

"I DON'T GET IT!" He shouted. "I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYONE OF YOU! He was using that line in the entire car ride! What does it mean!?"

"Well you see…" Herro said. "When a guy says something that is homosexual, they then say no homo. Then that basically cancels out anything that was gay that they said."

"What!?" Altair shouted. "Your gay! DIE HEATHEN!"

"Oh shit!" Herro said as he ran away from Altair.

"Damn it Altair!" Sub-Zero shouted. "Your not supposed to kill guests at a party and…oh why do I care?"

Everyone began to sit down while Desmond began to fiddle around with Samus's stuff.

"Okay; just so you know Desmond." She said. "If you touch my Gamertag…I will rip your dick off."

"She's serious." Wario shouted. "She'll do it."

"Why; she did it to you?" Desmond asked.

"Nope; Waluigi." Wario said. "That's why he wasn't playable in Brawl. Too much pain down south."

"That's what she said." Duo shouted.

"That's what he said." Ganondorf said.

"Gay." X said.

"Hey Desmond…" Luigi said. "Sure you'sa want'a to leave so early?"

"Why is that?" Desmond asked.

"Because we're about to watch the Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring…on Blu-ray."

"Oh shiz!" Desmond shouted. "NO fucking away! You seriously have it! Oh fuck I have to see it on Blu-Ray."

"Another movie eh?" Ezio said. "Will it be any interesting than the movie you showed us on the way here in your car?"

"What'd you see?" Fox asked,while Kyrstal was laying on top of him.

"I forgot…hey Desmond!" Ezio shouted.

"Yeah!?" He shouted back as he dove onto a couch.

"What movie did we see on the car ride here?" He asked.

"Star Wars." Desmond said.

"Yes, that one." Ezio said.

"Ahh man." Fox said. "That's a goodie. Truth be told…I live in that kind of timeframe."

"Really?" Ezio said. "Think you can get me a laser sword?"

"Uhh…sure." Fox said. "I mean…can't get it legally…but…"

"Oh who get's things legally lately!?" Krystal said.

"Good point." Fox said. "Got a mailing address?"

Luigi was busy setting up the Blu-ray player. Adult Link grabbed the disc and threw it to Luigi. Meanwhile outside, Riku was still screaming as the Eagle had not let him go. He was still floating above the place. Meanwhile, Simon was on the side of mansion, using a bed sheet tied together in order to get down safely on the ground. Luigi caught the disc and put on the Blu-Ray player. He put the disc in and grabbed the remote. While people we're waiting for the open stuff to pass, Snake finished off his current beer and threw it out the window. It hit Simon Belmont in the face, causing him to slip and fall.

"Son of a bitch!" He shouted as he hit the ground with a thud. When he hit the ground, he fell on a pot of weak soil and fell straight into it. He continued to fall until he reached the basement of the house. Now he was lost in the basement of the mansion.

Seconds later, Snake got a call on his cell phone. Snake picked it up.

"Hello." He asked.

"Did you throw that beer can?" Simon asked.

Snake stood quiet for a long time. He gave the phone to Ike who sitting right next to him.

"Its for you Ike." Snake said. "Why did you throw the beer can at Simon?"

"Did what?" Ike asked. "I was just sitting here taken a nap?"

"Where is Snake!?" Simon shouted on his phone. "Now I'm trapped in the basement! Where's that fucker! I'm going to kill him."

"So much for that Romanian Christian get-up." Ike said.

"GET HIM ON THE PHONE!" Simon shouted.

"Why?" Ike said. "He's holding it."

"I'm not here." Snake said, who suddenly got in a box, holding the phone out through one of the holes.

Ike was looking around for a minutes. He then saw Link who was right next him. Simon was still yelling in the phone so he had no idea what was going on or who had the phone. Ike quickly gave the phone to Link.

"It's for you." He said.

"Hello?" Link answered.

"Did you throw that beer can?" Simon asked.

Link repeated the same thing Ike did a handed the phone to Ganondorf.

"It's for you." He said.

"Hello?" He asked.

"Did you throw that beer can?" He asked.

"Who is this!?" Ganondorf shouted.

It took a few more minutes for the movie to turn on. Everyone then began to watch the movie of epic proportions. Sora and Kairi especially enjoyed because Sora had lived through things similar like this. Link and Ganondorf felt more at home than them though.

"Why am I getting flashbacks of my adventures?" Link asked.

"Why am I getting flashbacks of me dying?" Ganondorf asked.

While Young Link was watching the movie, Saria went over to him and poked him on the back a few times. Young Link turned around. Saria was fidgeting and had her hand pressed heavily on her crotch.

"I'm going to burst in the next few minutes." Saria said.

"Umm…you do know Samus left the bathroom like…hours ago?" He asked.

Saria looked over and saw Zelda sitting there…not in the bathroom.

"SON OF A BITCH!" She shouted, running away from the area, towards the washroom. Young Link returned on the couch.

"Wonder if she'll make it?" Young Link said. "Hey…why didn't Ness and Lucas show up for the party?"

"Do you have any idea how bad the last few chapters we're?" Scorpion asked. "Let's see…violence, sex, uncountable number of swears, fighting, lots of TMIs, and Lucas and Ness actually have parents that you can talk to. Do you really think this is the best scenario for them to be in right now?"

"…Ahh." Young Link shouted. "Right…they have actual parents that they can talk to…and somehow in every game I have my parents always seem to be away or dead."

"I know; right?!" Adult Link said.

The sound of a chainsaw was heard behind Young Link. He dove out of the way and watched Jack Cayman jumped on top of Scorpion and chainsawed him in half. The room was quiet and full of blood as Jack stood there. Everything was quiet. Seconds later…Scorpion respawned in a massive pillar of fire.

"DUDE!" He shouted. "Seriously! What the fuck!?"

"That's for burning away my cig from the last few chapters!" He shouted.

"Okay seriously!" Pit said. "It's already M! Do we need anymore shit to happen…damn it…I swore! I'm going to Hell now aren't I?"

"I don't know...maybe." Samus said.

"Oh it ain't to bad down there." Scorpion said.

"Okay seriously man." Scorpion said. "You have anger issues."

"Yeah; and I'm proud of them!" Jack said.

"Guys…we're trying to watch Lord of the Rings here." Axl said, still watching Zero being molested by the two girls. Although he noticed that Zero was trying to ignore them.

"Oh god!" Sonic said as he fell on the floor, laughing, pointing at Scorpion. "YOU GOT OWNED MAN! HE OWNED YOUR ASS HOW THE MARKET OWNED MIDWAY!!"

Sonic was expecting some people to laugh…but most of them stood quiet. Sonic stopped laughing as soon as everyone was staring at him.

"Thank you…I'm jobless right now." Sub-Zero said. "How do you feel now asshole?"

"Dude…" Roy said. "Uncalled for."

Sonic watched as everyone was staring at everyone for a few seconds.

"Hey look at the time…I gotta go to the washroom!" Sonic said, running out of the room

Sonic burst out of the room. He ran through the hallway and passed by Saria, right before she could into the bathroom.

"!" She shouted, returning to her pee dance. "I should have just stayed in line!"

Everyone continued to watch the movie, until it ended. Luigi turned off the Blu-Ray player. Most of the people we're wowed, even Altair, who had been Anti-party since the start of when he arrived.

"What…" He asked. "That's it? I wish to know more. Does this Frodo get this ring into the fire? Does this darkness take over! I must know! That cannot be the end!?"

"There are two other movies…" Desmond began.

"YOU SHALL GIVE THOSE MOVIES TO ME AND TEACH ME HOW TO USE THAT DEVICE OF WATCHING!" Altair shouted, putting up his hidden blade towards Desmond's face.

"OKAY… OKAY…OKAY …OKAY!" Desmond shouted. "Just calm the fuck down and…Oh my god…Eizo…is that a Piece of Eden!?"

"Yes." He said. "I've been using it as a mirror."

"What the fuck for!?" Desmond shouted.

"TO check for blemishes." He said.

"DO you have any how dangerous that is?" Desmond shouted.

"Other than make clones of myself…no." He responded.

"See…" Zelda said. "That's what made the sex with him so interesting. He was in front and behind me at one…"

"TMI!" Jack shouted.

Suddenly, time fr**oze in the world of fanfiction and FEARFAN got up from the chair to his laptop.**

"**Hey Zammy!" He shouted. "Take over…I'm going to use the bathroom."**

"**Sure." She said.**

**As Zammy skipped over towards the laptop, she turned her head towards FEARFAN.**

"**Hey…what was that whole fracking me later thing about?" She asked.**

"**God am I the only one who watched Super Freaking Parody Rangers!?" FEARFAN shouted. "Go to Newgrounds! Trust me…Hilarious!"**

"**Oh…okay!" She shouted.**

**Zamm**y got on the laptop and the world resumed.

Zero finaly cracked, "THAT'S IT!!!"

Every one went quiet and turned to see Zero who now had rop in his hands. Zero moved quickly, his speed would have made Sonic's jaw hit the ground, and would have made cowboys pleased and green with envy. Zero had Iris and Ciel hog-tied within seconds stood up and sat down on a nice plush chair.

**Once again time began to freeze and we found ourselves back in FEARFAN'S place.**

**Dominator046 had taken the computer, and ran into the nearest closet while Zammy was distracted. He quickly threw the masterbating RoyTheManSlayer out of the room, as well as the unsoiled magazine he was using .**

**"HEY!" He shouted. "Put me back in! I found a stash of boobies."**

"**Alright, let's get some of this started. I'm going to raise more hell than Pinhead ever did." Dominator046 said, with a devious smile.**

**With that, the world** began to regain its normal rate of time flow.

Altair had calmed down seldomly, and was watching the Lord of The Rings intently, a few people had to restrain him however, when the Ringwraiths showed up.

However, before long, a loud crash was heard, as the door flung open.

A few of the character, both Links, Samus, Fox, and a few others watched, as a figure covered in black robes stepped through the door.

Link quickly jumped up, and ran towards the dark figure when he said.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Link slowed to a walk, then stopped as he reached the side of the man. He then began to smile and said. "I didn't get to thank you for earlier."

The man slowly pulled his hood back, revealing the long brown hair of Dominator046. "No, but you don't have to... Hey guys! What's up!!" Dominator046 said, running over and jumping on an open spot of the couch.

"Uhh... who are you?" Snake asked.

"Hey! It'sa Dominator, how's you been?" Luigi asked, smiling.

"Pretty good Luigi, nice to meet you Snake, Zero, and Samus." Dominator046 said, smiling brightly.

**Zammy could be heard pounding at the door of the closet, protesting. "You can't put yourself in this fanfiction!"**

"Screw you! I can do what I want, where I want, when I want, to who I want, why I want, and how I wanna'!!" Dominator046 shouted back at her, before going back into the story's world.

"Nice to meet someone who isn't a pig." Samus said, nodding back. "You want a beer?"

"Nah, thank you Samus, beer is a bit to bitter for me. BRING ON THE SUGAR!" Dominator046 said cheering.

A few people started laughing, as Mario walked into the room. "Don'tcha do it, last time I had'sa replace more furniture than I can remember... pay your bail." Mario said, grinning.

"Hey, I paid you back!" Dominator046 said.

"Yeah, and he paid for Ilia's wedding ring." Link added, chuckling.

"Hey, it was the least I could do... considering what I did to the one you bought." Dominator046 said, suppressing a hearty laugh.

"What'd you do with the first one?" Young Link asked.

Both of the men turned red. "You do NOT want to know!" Dominator046 said.

"Yes I do." Young Link said.

Dominator046 let out a sigh, as he leaned over, and whispered into Young Link's ear.

"No way!! You're serious!?" Young link exclaimed.

"Sh sh sh, as far as anyone knows, that didn't happen!" Dominator046 said, quickly.

"Wait, is he talkin' aboutsa'..." Mario started.

"Yeah Mario, hey, why don't you go and NOT tell everybody." Link said, hoping the message got across that no one needed to know.

"Alrighty!" Mario said, chuckling, as he went back into the kitchen.

"I gotta' tell Saria!" Young Link said, running off in the direction she was seen last.

"He's a nice kid, I like him already." Dominator046 said, watching the movie.

"No Homo." Herro said, chuckling.

Dominator046 turned around, and kicked Herro in the chest, after coming to his feet. Herro was flung back with enough force to send him tumbling across the room.

"I... hate... that... shit." Dominator046 said, anger still present in his voice, even as it subsided.

Dominator046 then sat down, as Desmond looked over, a bit afraid. "Is... he okay?"

"Okay as an elephant in a breifcase!" Dominator046 said, with a cheerful smile, as he went back to watching the movie.

"Elephant... breifcase... this makes no sense!" Altair said, jumping towards Dominator046, who in the blink of an eye, stopped him.

"Easy, brother." Dominator046 said, holding out an apple for Altair.

"...okay." Altair said, taking the apple.

Ganon had gotten back from using the john, and walked back into the room. "Hey everybo... OH SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP MOTHER OF JESUS SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!!! IT'S HIM!!" Gannondorf said, diving behind the couch, after pointing and Dominator046.

"Uhh... Gannon, what the fuck?" Samus said, looking at how cowardly he was acting.

"HE!!! DID EVIL THINGS TO ME!" Ganon said, again pointing at Dominator046.

"If you weren't such a bitch, I wouldn't have had to." Dominator046 said, looking towards Link. "Aren't I right?"

"Yeah..." Link started out chuckling. "He didn't take his actions against me and my wife very well."

"HE'S EVIL!!!" Gannon said, stretching the evil out for a long ass time.

"No, I'm a good guy." Dominator046 said, smiling. "But... while I'm here... don't walk down any hallways alone."

At that point, Gannondorf ran out of the living room screaming, going into the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" Mario asked, as Gannon ran into the kitchen.

"I... er... well... I guess I can help cook." Gannondorf said with a pout. Not wanting to be near Dominator046, and knowing that being alone would cause him a world of pain.

Back in the living room, as Gannondorf was being readied to help cook, which was hell in its own way for him, the movie was picking up, and more people stopped in to watch.

Saria was finally free to get into the bathroom, but just as she was about to get in there, she heard Young Link call her name.

"Saria! Saria! You have to hear this!"

She turned around, and he saw the scariest face a human being had ever given anyone.

"WHAT!?! WHAT IS IT!?"

"N-Never...mind... it can wait..." Young Link said, slowly backing up.

Saria ran into the bathroom, and slammed the door, leaving Young Link scared out of his mind.

However, back in the living room, things were much less lively, and it was decided that they change the channel and get ready to watch the game. Samus had reached out to grab the remote, but then again, so had Scorpian.

"Let go, bitch." Scorpian said.

"You let go, bitch!" Samus said.

Scorpian attempted to spear the remote. "Get over here!" He called out...

However, Samus grabbed the rope bit it, and pulled the spear head off, tossing it aside. "Drop the remote, or the next thing I do that too will be much smaller."

"Ahhh...didn't know you liked me that." Scorpion said.

Samus looked even more peeved off when he said that. Then she stopped, got her some breathing room, and then called out "Oh Captain Falcon...I could use some help here..."

Captain Falcon suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"What the..." Scorpion said.

"FALCON!" He began. "CROTCH SHOT!"

***The rest of this scene was removed due to massive testicular damage***

Scorpian's eyes widened, and dropped the remote. He stood as still as a statue the rest of the day.

Dominator046 smiled, as he got up. "I'm sorry to say guys, but I gotta go. I know I wasn't here long. But it was nice to see, and meet you all. Link, tell Ilia I said hi. Scorpian, don't put it where it doesn't belong. Luigi, say hey to Mario for me, and you both, Daisy and Peach stay well, and the rest of you, see you later!" Dominator046 said, walking out of the **living room, into the main entrance hall.**

**He then enveloped himself in a ball of white fire, and disappeared.**

**Back in FEARFAN's place the door was being pounded in by Zammy. Just as Dominator046 saved the document, she opened the door.**

"**HAA! If you delete it, you delete the whole story!"**

**Zammy turned her head and said. "Uhh... it's called select?"**

**Dominator046 lowered his head, then looked up, smiling deviously. "Then I will cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and tell my girlfriend you raped me."**

"**How would I... why would I... how would she?" Zammy asked, confused.**

"**She runs track, so she would have no problem doing whatever to you."**

"**But why would she..."**

"**Don't argue with the madness!"**

"**Fine... keep your damn story, you're giving me a headache..."**

"**Yay!" Dominator046 "Dishes are done!"**

**There is no mental asylum fit enough to contain him. **

**FEARFAN came back into the room seconds later. He watched Roythemanslayer mastarbating in the room still.**

**"Dude seriously...go back in the closet." FEARFAN said.**

**"It's okay...I already finished." Roythemanslayer said.**

**"Oooookay...." I said. "Hey Dom! I heard someone called me a pinhead."**

**"Oh sorry...I was just talking about Hellraiser." Dominator406 said.**

**"Sure. Could...you follow me for a second?" FEARFAN asked.**

**"Okay." Dominator406 said.**

**Dom followed FEARFAN outside, unaware that he was holding a shotgun. Seconds later as Zammy was messing around with her new Zoids figures, a shot was heard outside. A fearful FEARFAN ran back in room.**

**"He got the shotgun!" He shouted. "Dominator406 got the shotgun! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"**

**"SHIT!" Roythemanslayer shouted, knowing he'd be the first target. "TO MY VAGINA!"**

**Zammy and FEARFAN stopped moving.**

**"Okay seriously..." FEARFAN said. "Is there an "A" rating for this site?"**

**A shotgun was heard and Zammy and FEARFAN began to run around the room, trying to escape the crazed fanboy. And in the midst of the confusion, NeoNaz356 shrugged his shoulders and began to type **on the laptop.

Suddenly, the sound of someone knocking came from the front door.

"I'll get it," Link said as he opened the front door, then saw someone he didn't recognize.

The person (if you could even call him that), was about Mario's height, wore a blue cape with gold trim on the ends, a blue skull cap with a gold ball on the end and an odd sideways 8-shape on the front, and dark brown shoes. His eyes were dark red, and there were black lines extending to the bottom of his face, and had a curly loch of orange hair from out the front of his hat. What was odd about him was that his skin looked like wood.

"Yo," the figure said before-

"Yaah!" Link screamed as he slammed the door and locked all the tumblers before drawing his sword and poising it at the figure on the other side of the door.

"Who was it?" Young Link asked as he came in, hearing Link's signature scream.

"There's another one of those demon puppets at the door!" Link said as he readjusted his skull cap and readied his shield. The next moment he shot an angry glare at Ganondorf on the other side of the room.

"Hey don't look at me," Ganondorf said as he leaned back in his seat, "I didn't do shit."

"What's going on out here?" Mario said as he came into the room in his boxers.

"Uhh...Mario..." Link said.

Mario looked at himself and quickly ran from the living room and returned fully dressed.

"There's a demon puppet outside the door," Link said.

Mario looked at link skeptically as he looked through the peep hole on the door. After a minute he opened the door and got a better look at the figure, his eyes widened and he took the figure by the hand. "Geno! Is that you? It's been years since I've seen you last."

"Well at least _you _know who I am," the figure Mario adressed as Geno said as he straightened his nose from when Link slammed the door in his face. "By the way _greenie _you broke my nose."

"So you know him then?" Link asked, keeping his guard up just in case.

"He's an old friend of mine from a long time ago," Mario explained.

"After we defeated Smity, I didn't think I'd see him again."

"Well what can I say," Geno said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Even a possessed doll gets a little lonely sometimes. Plus the football is a bonus."

"Wahahaha!" Wario laughed as he came into the room. "Who knew Mario still played with _dolls_. Wahaha."

Geno's eyebrow twitched before he raised his right arm at Wario. The next moment his forearm hinged backward from his arm, and three bowling ball-sized cannon balls were launched out of it, hitting Wario in the gut, face, and croth respectively with a _dong, smack, _and a _thud_.

As Wario collapsed onto the floor, muttering a silent cry of pain, Geno brough his elbow up to his face and blew away a bit of smoke before clicking his arm back into place. "No one calls me a doll and gets away with it," he said in a stern tone.

"Nice to see you still have your Hand Cannon," Mario said patting Geno on the shoulder.

"Hey give me a little more credit then that," Geno said casually as he cracked his knuckles. "I'm still as armed to the teeth _now_ as I was then. Plus I've got a few new tricks too."

Meanwhile in the corner of the room, Snake watched Geno carefully. "Great. Another trigger-happy guy in the same house."

"Oh like you're one to talk," Samus shouted from the other hall.

"So why're you here then?" Young Link asked as he sheathed his sword. "I don't remember you being in Brawl."

Geno huffed angrily as he crossed his arms. "Well I was _supposed _to be in Brawl, but those nerds at Square had me pulled off the roster at the last minute. Damn them all."

"Square?" Link asked Mario.

"He means Square Enix," Mario answered back.

"Anyway, glad to see _you _still know who I am," Geno said as he walked into the mansion. "Next time you see Peach, tell her I said hello. As for myself, I'll see if Bowser's still sore about you-know-who."

"Who?" Link asked.

"It doesn't really involve you," Mario said with a shrug of his shoulders.

A minute of walking through the halls of Luigi's mansion and suddenly everything stopped around Geno, turning sepia like an old photograph.

"Who's there?" he called out as he readied his Hand Cannon to fire the deadly bowling ball-sized rounds.

**"Hey, relax Geno, its me," a voice said from out of thin air.**

"NeoNazo?" Geno asked.

**"The one and only," NeoNazo356 said in a relaxed tone. "Anyway, while I have time frozen, I thought I'd give you a little something to make this party a little more... _interesting. _Hehehe_._"**

"Like what?" Geno asked.

The next moment a white arrow appeared in the air before moving diagonally down and forming a white square outline. Then the outline flipped around before a Jonnygun appeared and fell into Geno's arms.

**"Good luck Geno," NeoNazo356 said as time began to return to normal. "I'll see you s****oon. Wah**ahahaha"

As time finally snapped back into place and NeoNazo's laugh echoed off into silence, Geno looked at the gift he had been given with a satisfied smirk as he took a bullet clip and attached it to the bottom of his new weapon.

**Dananana,** a weird gingle blared as Geno held his new weapon up in the air above his head in a very Legend of Zelda-esque fashion.

**You got a Tommy Gun**

**Popular even after war times, this weapons is prohibited from citizen use outside of established territories. Has a magazine size of 360 and can fire 120 rounds a minute.**

"HEY! THAT'S MY BIT!" Link and Young Link shouted through the vents.

"Sheesh, try to have a bit of fun and everyone bites your head off," Geno mumbled to himself as he put his new weapon behind him in the pocket space that most heroes seemed to have on their person. And how the hell did they know about that anyway?"

**"Well...FINALLY!" FEARFAN said after he secured the last ropes around Dominator406, who was busy being tied up by Zammy, Roythemanslayer, and FEARFAN himself.**

**"You know I'll kill all of you if I get out." Dominator406.**

**"IF!" FEARFAN said. "Man that was crazy."**

**"Well it could have been worse." Roythemanslayer said. "I could have been having sex with Zammy and have Dominator406 chasing you.**

**Zammy looked a Roythemanslayer who looked pissed.**

**"What?" He asked.**

**"GET HIM LIGER!" She shouted.**

**A giant robotic Tiger leaped out of Lake Michigan and flew towards Roythemanslayer.**

**"...son of a BITCH!!!" Roythemanslayer shouted.**


	8. The First QuarterAnger Ensues

**FEARFAN: Zammy…What the fuck we're you thinking?**

**Zammy: Would you believe me if I said wasn't?**

**FEARFAN: Considering the fact my house has now been replaced with a giant mechanical tiger…yes…I believe you.**

**Dominator406: Well luckily for us, the laptop didn't die. We can continue right?**

**RoyTheManSlayer: SHUT UP! STAY IN YOUR ROPES!**

**NeoNazi356: Can we continue?**

**FEARFAN: Yes…yes we can…*Cries while typing this chapter***

_**BEFORE I CONTINUE, I WILL NOW MAKE WHOS ON WHO SIDE.**_

_**Saints: Mario, Peach, Geno, Link's family, Marth, Zelda, Kirby, Fox, Krystal, Sonic, Jack, Herro, Riku, Rei, Shinji, Zero, X, Desmond, Lucy, Scorpion, Sephiroth**_

_**Colts: Luigi, Wario, Ganondorf, Samus, Ike, Roy, Liliana, Lucario, Pit, Dracula, Snake, Simon, Duo, Leon, Cloud, Sub-Zero, Asuka, Axl, Duo, Captain Falcon, Bowser**_

_**Neutral parties: Kirby, Sora, Karou, Jim Ranyor, Ciel, Iris, Ezio, Altair, **_

**Current time: 5:00 PM, The First Quarter**

The party was now beginning to get to actual game. Mario brought up all the food from the kitchen and brought it to the room where all the party guests we're. Wario proceeded to take most of the food and make a plate that was at least six inches high, compared to everyone else's that was considered a subtle amount.

"Oh man." Mario said as he sat down on a chair. "It'sa about time that the game started up."

"Yeah." Link said. "We only wasted…what…seven chapters trying to get to this point?"

"So…wait?" Sonic asked. "Does this mean…that everything that was back there wasn't the real story?"

"I will paddle the living Hell out all of you if you all are not silent." Ganondorf shouted on his chair while biting into a piece of chicken. "Shut up and watch the game."

Link and everyone looked at Ganondorf.

"I would have taken you seriously…" Link began. "But…when you said paddle…I just decided not to ask. Seemed like you had a fetish with that."

"Yeah; you want to know what I have a fetish with?" Ganondorf asked.

"…No…but somehow you're going to tell me anyway." Link said.

Ganondorf stretched his hand out and unleashed a massive sphere of energy at Link. Link was blown off the couch and fell somewhere behind it. Ilia got up instantly and went over to her injured husband.

"Link!" She shouted in desperation. "Are you alright?"

Ganondorf laughed with his arms crossed.

"Now that's something I can get off to." He said. "Someone crying in desperation."

"THAT'S IT!" Link shouted grabbing the Master Sword. "IT IS ON GANONDORF!"

"BRING IT ON, PANSY!" Ganondorf shouted drawing the Executioner's blade.

Link and Ganondorf charged at each other. What then resulted was an epic sword fight between the two. The two began to fight in the background while the others continued to watch the game. At this point, the kick off was done and the people we're now watching the game as it escalated. After a few minutes, the first Budlight commercial came on **(The one with the house made with Budlight cans). **Zero spit out his beer from that commercial.

"Oh god…" He shouted in laughter. "That is the funniest shit I have ever seen!"

"I would so do that!" Axl shouted.

"We…we…we know." Zero said.

"What!" Axl shouted. "Are you saying I'm an idiot…"

"Yeah." X said. "It's exactly what we're saying."

Sora and Kairi we're still sitting down on their chair eating. While they we're Sora looked out the window and saw Riku currently still being carried by the eagle that had captured him.

"GET OFF ME!" Riku shouted.

"Oh my god!" Sora shouted. "How long has he been in the air!"

"Last chapter." Altair said.

"GET HIM OFF!" Sora shouted. "He's my best friend."

"Yeah he's his best friend alright." Scorpion said. "More like his gay lover."

Sora ignited his Keyblade and threw it at Scorpion. Scorpion's head split in two. Everyone looked in fear, but Scorpion still soon came back to life, the muscle and tissue reforming together, until Scorpion was back to normal.

"It's fine people, I'm dead." Scorpion said.

Everyone still looked at Scorpion with a scared expression.

"Yeah…" Herro said. "Yeah…yeah that's a normal response."

After that, Altair snapped his fingers. The Eagle outside released Riku…five hundred feet in the air. Riku fell, screaming to the ground. Riku fell into the ground and the top half of his body was in the ground. Sora jumped out the window and ran to help his friend.

"DAMN IT SORA!" Kairi shouted. "STOP BEING A HOMO!"

"WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M GAY!" Sora shouted.

"I don't know." Leon said. "Maybe the two manga series with you CONFESSING YOUR LOVE TO RIKU!"

"Heh." Link said. "Now he knows what I feel how people talk about me wearing a skirt."

"Hey…" Sora shouted. "At least I don't cross-dress."

Link ducked under a quick stroke from Ganondorf. He began to continue to clash blades with Ganondorf.

"Ganondorf…Link…for the love of God; deal with your problems in the hallway!" Asuka shouted.

Link and Ganondorf didn't turn their heads, but they continued to fight as they slowly left the room. Ilia watched as Link and Ganondorf continued to fight in the hallway. Ilia was watching with intense desire, sweating from her head.

"Look at him." She said. "Fighting for the honor of his family and to protect me and him with his golden body of the gods. It's stuff like this that gets me pumped in with so much hormones I just want to split him in half as soon as I…"

"Wow." Young Link said. "My mom pumped with estrogen. This is extremely uncomfortable. I am going into another room."

And so the game continued throughout most of the time. Between the time of eleven minutes and twelve minutes, number 18 for the IN Colts through the ball to number 44. The pass was successful and IN scored a first down.

"Son of a bitch!" Fox shouted. "Fucking Colts!"

"First down!" All the Colts fans shouted.

"Shut up." Scorpion said. "SHUT UP! WE SHALL VANQUISH YOU!"

Ilia looked calm about it.

"Man…" Peach said. "I am glad you are taking this so lightly…a major disadvantage for us this early."

"Don't worry Peach." Ilia said. "I am going to be civil about this."

Ilia watched as the Colts continued to gain more territory.

"C'MON YOU FUCKERS!" She shouted.

Altair continued to watch the game. He was sitting in a very tense position. Desmond was keeping an eye on him on him very intently, to be sure he wasn't doing anything stupid.

"What's with you Desmond?" Samus asked. "You have been keeping an eye on Altair a lot."

"Oh hey." He said. "I have to. Altair hasn't this tense since the Dethklock concert."

"Hey!" Falco shouted. "How was that concert!"

"Oh it was fine." Desmond said. "You know…up until Altair got caught in the mosh pit."

"Oh boy…" Ike said.

"Actually he was dodging them and countering them…until this one unfortunate bastard actually hit him. There was five dead at the end of the night."

"I remember that one!" Sephiroth said. "I think the new report said "Fag dressed in white kills five." And then a week later…I believe the guy who wrote the article died a week later. Did you have something to do with that Altair?"

"…Possibly." Altair said.

"Anyway it didn't matter." Desmond said. "Dethklock invited him backstage cause they said it was all Metal and such for him to kill five members of the audience. He got his sword autographed by them."

"Oh yeah." Sephiroth said. "I always get my swords autographed by them. Because they know if they don't , I will rape their souls with the blades I form out of nowhere."

The game continued on for several for minutes. Between ten and nine minutes, a pass was made to Austin Collie, resulting in a thirty yard gain for the Colts. The room was filled with Colts fans screaming. Liliana grabbed onto Roy and hugged him for the advantage that they had gained. The first major play of the game was made. All of the Saint's fans we're completely disorientated.

"DAMN IT MARIO!" Sephiroth shouted, pulling his sword and cutting some valuable furniture in Mario's house.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Mario shouted.

When he did, Mario's hat that he was wearing was cut in half. It fell into the ground in pieces. Mario looked at the ruined velvet. Tears formed my Mario's eyes as he got down on his knees.

"WWWWWWHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY!" He shouted

Mario began to go on the floor and cry and despair. Luigi looked at his brother. Mario huddled up into a fetal position and began to shiver.

"It's…so…c…cold." Mario said.

"Calm'a down brother." Luigi said. "Nintendo give you a new one in the next game."

Mario grabbed Luigi's hat and then burnt it to a crisp.

"WWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY!" Luigi shouted…doing the same thing Mario did.

"You guys are idiots." Kairi said.

During the course of the next few minutes, Indiana continued to play valiantly. It missed a major pass towards the goal line. What resulted was then a fight for the goal line for two minutes before Indiana was given a shot for a field goal. Indiana got the field goal and the game continued on. Samus went to get another beer. Ezio's eyes then turned towards Samus while the others began to howl at the snickers commercial featuring Betty White.

"So…" He began in his accent. "What is'a lady such as yourself doing here by herself?"

"Aren't you the guy who knocked up Zelda around a few hours ago?" Samus asked

"…No." Ezio said. "That was probably somebody else. Probably Link."

"Link's married." Samus said.

"How do you know?" He asked.

"That's his wife." Samus said, pointing at Ilia.

"How do you know?" Ezio asked.

"She has a ring." Samus said.

"How do you know?" Ezio asked.

"Those are her kids." Samus said.

"How do know that?" Ezio asked. "Those could be my kids…for…all I know. Besides, I can tell from your voice that you're a virgin…LET ME PENETRATE YOU!"

"Hey…" Lucario said as he came back from getting his beer. "Hey Zelda…I found that dingbat who slept with you…he's right here."

"They found me!" Ezio shouted as he grabbed Samus' hands. "Quick…to the window!"

Ezio grabbed Samus and ran towards the window. He jumped out of the window, breaking the glass as he did.

"We shall do it like Tarzan and Jane!" Ezio shouted.

Sora stood still for a few seconds. He then flinched for a second.

"You alright?" Kairi asked.

"Sorry…disturbing image in mind." Sora said.

"Get off me!" Samus shouted from the window.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Mario shouted. "I JUST FIXED THE WINDOWS! GOD DAMN IT!"

"Ahh Don't worry about it brother." Luigi said. "You'll just get more coins and get it repaired."

"I GET IT REPAIRED!" Mario shouted.

"Well…sucks to be you brother." Luigi said.

While they we're playing, a small shadow appeared in the room. Geno was the one to notice the statue and decided to ask as he knew there was no tree in that area for a shadow to be cast.

"Hey…" Geno said. "What is that shadow?"

"Oh that." Herro said. "That's our rides."

"Really!" Geno said. "What can be so big that…OH DEAR GOD!"

Geno looked outside to see two massive mechs taking up most of the driving space. Geno's mouth went past his chest when he saw it. Cloud went over to the window and looked outside.

"So that's why I couldn't find space for my bike." He said, before shrugging his shoulders and popping open another beer.

The Colts then got the back 2nd in ten for another twenty yard gain by Number 20 during the last few minutes of the 1st quarter. The game continued to run into the Colts' favor as within two minutes later…Joseph Addai passed the line of scrimmage and gained a whole 26 yards up to the 20 yard line. While the game had been going, Ilia had been incredibly pissed off with the Colts kicking the Saint's ass the entire game. She got up and walked over to get a sprite. Peach was over there getting one herself. Both of them sat over by the buffet table as they looked at the game.

"Man…this is not looking off to a great start for us." Peach said.

"Peach…" Ilia said. "Do me a favor…and shut the fuck up."

"I thought you said…" Peach said.

"The time for being civil is over." She shouted. "I am pissed that we are losing; and horny from my husband fighting for the honor of his time for taking my stress out is now!"

"Oh wow…" Riku said as he walked back into the room. "You're mad about losing a game. I was hung by a bird for the last two hours…but nobody asks me if I'm alright."

"Yeah." Marth said. "I mean…it is just a game…"

"SHUT UP PANSY!" She shouted.

Marth ducked behind the couch to avoid a sprite can whirled right at him. Wario ended up catching it.

"Thank you." He said.

Ilia looked extremely steamed about it. Her face was red and she looked like she was about to kill something. Her tension completely broke after within the last minutes Matt threw the ball Pierre Garcon. Garcon caught the ball from the thirty yard pass and gained the first touchdown of the game.

"YES!" Bowser shouted. "FIRST TOUCHDOWN OF THE GAME!"

"YEAH!" Axl shouted as he jumped up to give Bowser a high five.

Bowser and Axl gave each other a high five. Of course, Bowser is so much stronger than Axl. He knocked Axl through the wall, making an Axl shaped hole in the wall.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Mario shouted. "CAN WE AVOID DAMAGING THE HOUSE!"

"Yeah…" Luigi said. "The house…is'a mine."

Bowser ran to the door and shouted down the hallway.

"Hey Ganondorf!" He shouted. "We got a touchdown!"

"Awesome!" He shouted back.

"That's it!" Ilia shouted.

Ilia got up from where she was and began to walk over where Ganondorf was. Ganondorf and Link we're still fighting at the time. Link and Ganondorf we're still clashing swords.

"You will never defeat me Link!" Ganondorf shouted.

"That's what you said the last four fucking times!" Link shouted.

"This time you won't." Ganondorf shouted.

"Your going to kill me…at a Super bowl party…this is a new one." Link said.

While the two fought, Ilia went over to Ganondorf. She grabbed his sword arm, and forced Ganondorf's hand to hit himself with the hilt on his stomach. Ganondorf got knocked over. Link then swiped Ganondorf in the chest, knocking him to the ground in pain. Link then curb stomped on his face, knocking him out. He then turned and faced Ilia.

"Thanks for the help…" Link began.

Ilia plunged forward into his arms and began to make out with him, forcing her tongue right on his. She began to constantly fought for control with his, putting her crotch next to his.

"Ilia…" He managed to say, despite the fact that her tongue was in his mouth. "Shouldn't we go back to the game…"

"Oh…" she moaned. "We're playing a game alright…"

Link's face literally sparkled as the two ran into a nearby bedroom.

**FEARFAN: And…I think that's it for the first quarter…1/4 of the way there."**

**Zammy: Oh…now we're 1/4 of the way there…**

**FEARFAN: Damn it…we already used that joke…don't rant on it…**

**Dominator046: You know I've seen a number of times where you messed up my name…**

**FEARFAN: Fuck you…stay in your ropes.**


	9. Second Quartershit happens

**FEARFAN: Alright...Another chapter.**

**NeoNazo356: Dude you called me a Nazi last chapter.**

**FEARFAN: Lighten up.**

**Roythemanslayer: Lest we string you from the tallest building in the highest tower...just like with Dom.**

**Roythemanslayer points in a direction where the supposed Dom was being held...only to see no one there and ropes on the ground. Roythemanslayer's expression changes to that of fear as he slowly turns around with Dom holding a massive axe in his hand.***

**Dominator046: Hey assholes! How you doing!**

**The entire room except for FEARFAN runs around in horror as FEARFAN types the fanfic.**

**CURRENT TIME: 6:00...around 6:30. Second Quarter opens up.**

Ganondorf was currently being dragged away by Snake back into the Living room. Ganondorf was still in pain as Link had left the Master Sword in his shin. Link also had mysteriously vanished up to this point along with Ilia. But no one really cared.

"Alright...this is going to hurt if you pull it out fast...so what I need you to do..." Ganondorf said.

"Too late...that's not fun." Snake said.

Snake literally pulled the sword out of Ganondorf's shin in under second. The Lord of Darkness screamed in pain.

"AAAAHHH!" Damn it to bowels of bloody Hell!" Ganondorf shouted.

Mario had just welled out an entire cart that had all the food that they had prepared earlier in the day for the massive dinner that was going to take place. As he walked, he rolled the wheels over Ganondorf's open wounds. Ganondorf yelled in more pain as that happened.

"Oh Hey Ganondorf." Mario said as he looked. "You shouldn't lay there where people walk."

"I...am going to kill you." Ganondorf said.

"Well consider this'sa payback for all the damage you and Link probably did when you two fought." Mario said.

"I live in a castle; I don't give a flying fuck what you think." Ganondorf said.

Mario kicked him in the face.

"Ow." Ganondorf said as Mario walked on.

"Wow!" Bowser shouted as he went to the sniff the food. "Smells great!"

Bowser went to sniff a little more and saw a black spherical thing with a fuse on it. There was a bomb there.

"What's the bomb for?" He asked.

"This." Mario said.

Mario tapped the bomb using his power and then threw it. As he did, there was a loud sucking sound. Everyone looked in horror as they saw the food moving and Kirby to the right using his massive sucking power. Mario threw the bomb in the air and Kirby sucked that up first. He then stopped to realize what he had eaten, but it was too late. Kirby swelled up ten times his body mass and then fell over with X's on his eyes. The whole room roared with laughter.

"Nice." Bowser said.

"I know." Mario said.

"There is a god!" Zero shouted. "We actually have food for once!"

"That's the most civil I ever saw Mario and Bowser be." Luigi said.

"Wow." Duo said. "Look at all this! Beef sandwiches!

"Dibs on the Beef Sandwiches!" Wario said.

"Home made Buffalo wings!" Saria said.

"Dibs on the Buffalo wings!" Wario said.

"Fresh fruit and vegetables with dips for each." Riku said.

Wario said nothing.

"Fried Chicken!" Sora said!

"Dibs on the Fried Chicken!" Wario said.

"Oh right I forgot the other good measure for our food." Mario said.

Mario grabbed his massive mallet from his Donkey Kong games and smashed in Wario's head. Wario twirled around once and fell on the ground out cold. Falco laughed his head off as he saw that. He stumbled over towards Wario (yes he's drunk) and went towards.

"Hey...hey Wario...hey...uhh...yeah...you...you...you got pwned!" Falco said.

Falco laughed a little bit and went back over to the couch. Kat who was waiting for him to get drunk then began to come onto him by putting her arm over his shoulder and sitting on his lap.

"Now we can eat without problems." Mario said.

"Again...THERE IS A GOD!" Zero shouted.

Zero glanced over to where Iris and Ciel we're hog tied only to see the two horny girls we're no longer there. Zero looked over his back to see Iris and Ciel staring at him. Zero's face went from extreme happiness to sorrow.

"Hey Zero." They both said. "We decided to share you. Come here lover..."

Zero's eyebrow twitched.

"THERE IS NO GOD, THERE IS NO GOD...IF THERE IS HE KICKED ME RIGHT IN THE BALLS!" Zero shouted as he flailed his arms and ran out of the room. Axl and X fell off their couch laughing as Axl twirled a butterfly in his hand. X noticed the knife and stopped laughing.

"Ahh dude that's low." X said.

"You know you love it." Axl said.

As the group watched Zero run out of the room with the two overly horny girls, Mario and Luigi saw Wario's unconscious body get up and began to go towards the food.

"Oh god!" Marth souted. "He can move on his own!"

"Shut up pansy." Roy said.

"Protect the fried chicken!" Ganondorf shouted.

"Ah-HA!" Fox said. "I knew was a stereotypical!"

"Shut up honkey." Ganondorf said.

"I bet he even has a gun." Young Link said.

"How dare you!" Ganondorf shouted. "You assume...that just because my skin is dark that I carry a gun around. Is that what you think! I know we're mortal enemies...but that gives you no right to think like that!"

Young Link began to pull his head back as soon Ganondorf said.

"But yes I do." Ganondorf said as he pulled out a glock 9.

"Oh GOD!" Young Link shouted. "I WAS JUST JOKING WITH THAT! I WASN'T HOPING YOU WOULDN'T ACTUALLY HAVE ONE!"

"So..." Sephiroth began. "Why haven't you used that against his dad?"

"I'm not a dick." Ganondorf said as he polished it. "Boys back in the crib getting violent so I gotta keep my gat ready at all times."

"...I have either a new found respect for Ganondorf...or a new fear now." Fox said.

"Speaking of that...where is my dad?" Young Link said. "Ganondorf...you should know...you two we're fighting in the middle of hallway during the first quarter."

"He stuck the Master sword in my shin and then left." Ganondorf shouted. "I don't have any idea where he went...Ilia and him went off...OOOOHHHH...nevermind I know now where they went...no wonder she seemed on edge...I bet she's been drinking."

"Wait..." Young Link asked as Ganondorf went to pop a bud light.. "What's he doing?"

"What you did with Saria in chapters 4 or 5...I forget...I've been drinking a little bit." Ganondorf said.

"OH GOD!" Young Link said. "I didn't need to know that...you should...wait...how did you know me and Saria fucked?"

"Way to tell the whole world." Desmond said.

"I know everything." Ganondorf said.

"...I'm officially scared to talk to you now." Young Link said.

"YOU WEREN'T SCARED BEFORE!" Ganondorf shouted. "Whole King of Evil deal!"

Ganondorf walked away and began to drink another beer.

It took a few minutes of bashing Wario's body with mallets and large blunt objects and trying to tie him down, but eventually they managed to keep from approaching the food. They locked him int the freezer. Everyone then began to (or at least the people who could walk...case exempting Falco) and began to get the food. While they did, Sub-Zero's cell rang.

"Hello." He said. "Oh Hey Ed Boon. What's up?...YOU SERIOUS! REALLY! OH GOD THANK YOU! YEAH I'LL BE THERE TUESDAY!"

Sub-Zero hung up his cell and ran over to Scorpion.

"Scorpion!" He shouted. "WE GOT OUR JOBS BACK!"

"SHIT!" He shouted. "SERIOUSLY! AWESOME!"

The two attempted to high five...but Sub-Zero ended up accidently hitting him. Scorpion responded to that as a threat and then punched Sub-Zero out the house...breaking more of the Living room.

"STOP DESTROYING THE HOUSE!" Mario shouted.

While the game passed down to the 11 minute counter...Samus returned to the room. She was all sweaty...her shirt straps we're on her arms instead of her shoulder...she looked like a combination of pissed off and sexually satisfied as she also did a combo of limping and walking towards a couch. She grabbed a beer and pounded it down. She then grabbed another and began to pound it down.

"Dude Samus..." Herro said. "What's with you?"

"That Ezio bastard!" Samus said. "He had sex with me!"

"Wait a minute!" Captain Falcon. "I have been trying to do that for the last two years...and you mean to tell me that fucker did it within a ten minute time frame."

"You bet!" Ezio said.

Captain Falcon looked all pissed at Ezio...and then ran out of the room crying.

"...Fuck..." Snake said. "I ain't even that smooth."

"So...are you mad because he slept with you...or because you don't like him?" Herro said.

"I'm mad because I am attracted to him now and all he wanted was a one night stand!" Samus said. "He had sex with me...ruined my virginity...and now I actually think he's hot and he doesn't want to come back to me...so now I plan on drinking this away and hoping I forget about this...and hope I don't get pregnant; because I doubt he knows what condoms are."

Altair looked at her and then at his food.

"Suddenly..." he said as he put his plate down. "I lost my appetite."

"Yeah; I myself find it funny that we're all talking about all of our private problems right in front of everyone." Duo said. "We got problems."

While everyone in shock was watching both the game and Samus drinking beers left and right, Mario heard a car crash outside. Mario jumped up to look outside to see a crashed hover bike outside that hit the foot of one of Gundams. There was a man with a beard and stache and wearing a brown vest and had several shot gun shells on it.

"What the fuck is this shit?" Ranyor said. "Who parks this 10 story tall mech in the middle of the street. My Vulture bike goes 200 MPH...I can't dodge shit like this all the time!"

"Hey!" Duo shouted. "Don't you dare call Deathscythe a pile of crap!"

Mario jumped out the window and ran towards the man.

"Sorry about that sir." Mario said. "Our party has a lot of guests...some less invited than others...I'll call a tow truck if you need."

"That'd be great partner." Ranyor said.

"Who are you man?" Mario said.

"Name's Jim Ranyor pal." He said. "Trying to get to a super bowl party and then I ran into this...that makes my day."

"Well..." Mario said. "If you want to wait for a truck...your welcome to party with us."

"You got beer?" Ranyor said.

"Plenty." Mario said.

"I'm in." Ranyor said as he and Mario walked.

Time suddenly froze and **the world returned to where Dom and FEARFAN we're.**

"**Okay buddy...your up." FEARFAN said.**

"**Oh goodie goodie goodie goodie!" Dominator046 said, setting his new epic firesword with a blade made of orange crystal, and a handle of what seemed like obsidian. "You can have your axe back, I found my sword."**

**Dominator046 took the laptop and sat down on the couch as things began to return to normal in the fanfic world. **

Surprisingly, everything in the house went back to normal in the house, the Saints fans were cheering as they'd just scored one, which stated they were not going to let the Colts trounce them.

Everyone seemed to be relatively calm, aside from some cursing contests between fans, who insulted each other, their teams, and their elderly relatives.

Mario walked in with Ranyor, and guided him into the living room where the large T.V was.

"Nice place, bud. I gotta' crash here more often... not literally though." Jim said, taking an open seat next to Ganondorf.

Ganondorf looked at the man as he sat down beside him, but shrugged it off, thinking if this guest wasn't quiet as loud as some of the others, he didn't mind being next to him.

"This is a mighty fine piece partner."

Ganondorf looked over to see the newcomer next to him twirling a glock 9 around in his hand...

He felt to his right side, and noticed his glock was gone... so he looked back to the man on the left. "How the hell did you do that?"

With that, the man pistol-whipped Ganon in the forehead, before dropping the glock in his lap. "You're supposed to address yourself before addressing someone else." Ranyor stated, randomly remembering that bit of being polite for some random reason.

"Gah, fuck... I'm Ganondorf, Great lord of..."

"That's all well and good Ganondolf, call me Jim Ranyor."

"I am not a fucking white wizard, I am the Lord of Darkness!"

"Shut the fuck up!" Snake called out, over Ganondorf, rather loudly. "I'm trying to watch these commercials!"

Ranyor, who then cleared his throat and came to his feet, walked over to Ike. "Speak your piece, friend." Ranyor said, in an obviously unfriendly way.

"How about you, and the Great Lord of The Dance over there shut up so I can watch these commercials, they're hilarious." Snake said, standing his ground, crossing his arms as he came to his feet.

Ganon glared at Snake for what he said, and Ranyor just looked at him with a upset, 'you'd best choose your words carefully, son' kind of look.

"So, why don't you, just go sit back down, and shut the fuck up."

As soon as snake had finished his statement, Ranyor drove his foot, and by relation, his boot, straight up into Snake's balls.

He was hit with such force, that he actually hopped slightly into the air, before falling to his knees, then falling over with his hands over his broken manhood.

"You don't try and boss me around, and I don't shatter your 'piece'." Ranyor said, going back and rejoining his seat next to Ganondorf.

"Wow, nice one." Ganon said, usually people applauded other people who made fun of him.

"Don't you be complimenting me, Lord of Darkness. If we were out on the field, your ass would be grass."

Ranyor said this in a way, while nonchalant, made Ganon nearly shit his pants in fear.

For this display, Samus came out of her 'I just want to forget this' mood for a little bit, long enough to toss Ranyor a beer.

Ranyor magically caught it with what seemed like a lightning fast swing of his arm. "Much obliged." Ranyor said, nodding towards Samus, smiling.

Samus found it in herself to smile back, and found it was rather easy.

**Dominator046 began to laugh, as his sinister fanfictioning took place.**

**Zammy spoke up at the mounting lunacy. "You can't do this, it doesn't make any sense, and fanfiction law says you can't pair anyone with Samus..."**

"**Do you know what it feels like to be intestinally raped with a rather large and razor sharp blowtorch?" Dominator046 said, glaring at whoever may question him.**

**There was no response.**

"**Let's carry on!" Dominator046 said, with a big cheerful smile.**

The football game continued, and once again, the Saints scored, the flame of defiance blazed ever stronger!

...and Snake was still on the floor.

...and Link and Ilia were still 'missing'. (**Awesome ^^**)

Everyone was partaking of the fine cuisine that was available. Mario himself was dining on the fine food he made, while Luigi went and made a phone call to Daisy, but was back in a few moments.

Desmond and Altair had found Ezio, in one of the hallways.

"Well hello there." Ezio said, smiling, looking at the two in front of him, ironically wearing the robes of Altair. Paradoxical, is it not?

Well, actually, what was more paradoxical was Altair drawing his hidden blade and placing it near Ezio's windpipe. "You've done naught but shame us the entire time we've been here. You have much to learn, for one who wear's the robes of a grandmaster."

"You will find I know plenty!" Ezio said, before drawing his hidden blades.

However, when Ezio tried to strike Altair, Altair countered the attack, and kneed Ezio in the gut. "Mind yourself, my descendant, don't forget where you came from."

**Roythemanslayer let out a nice long 'oooooooh' and then high-fived Dominator046.**

"**Altair owns Ezio?" Dominator046 asked Roythemanslayer.**

"**Most orgasmicly." **

Ezio shook his head, unable to believe he was actually bested in an attempt to assassinate. "Fine, you have my word, I won't shame us further... for the rest of the quarter."

"Deal!" Desmond said, shaking Ezio's hand. Altair wanted more than that, but Desmond wanted to live, as if either of these guys killed themselves, he most likely wouldn't exist. He likes existing, Desmond really likes existing!

Ezio began to slump back against the wall, and think of any other fine maidens that he could potentially have his way with.

Zelda, she had met his talents. So had the woman, Samus. The Lady Peach was off limits as he could tell Mario would destroy him before he could even speak a word of deviousness to her; as well, she seemed far to innocent.

There were a few other maidens, a few taken. There was a rather fetching blonde...

"Taken." Sounded in a female voice, in a nearby vent, with a few other sounds. "Very."

Ezio let out a sigh, dissapointed he was missing out on a fine chase of a girl like that. She seemed simple, wearing the garb of a common villager so she wouldn't be too hard to...

"I'm going to kill you when I get out of here." Link said, with his raw awesomeness, being able to tell what Ezio was thinking, before all sounds from the vent stopped.

"I can not win this day." Ezio said, with a sigh.

Desmond's jaw dropped. "You slept with SAMUS! How is that not winning!"

"I'm not meeting my quota." Ezio said, slowly pacing back towards the living room.

"What is with this, these people with super powers. Do they have pieces of Eden? YOU WILL TELL ME!" Altair said, with drawing his blade, and placing it at Desmond's temple.

"EASY EASY, COME ON MAN CALM DOWN!" Desmond said, the shit scared out of him... literally this time.

Away from the family feud that was the Assassin's Creed protagonists, trouble was brewing.

"I gotta poo!" Bowser said, suddenly, getting up, holding his stomach. Apparently what he ate went right through him.

Actually, it was a little something from Luigi, payback from the adventure that got him this house. Laxatives are fun ^^.

Bowser slowly crept his way through the living room, hoping that he could make it. "Aw damn... I gotta take a shit..."

Some, rather wise people, attempted to help him along, as to not have a pile of shit in their place of viewing.

However, Bowser realized that Cloud and Sonic both had to go to the bathrooms a few minutes ago, so there was no bathroom available. "Oh man, the bathrooms are taken... and I gotta poo!"

People began to cry out in fear, as more of them tried to help Bowser out of the doorway, at least letting him not drop a duce in the living room.

"I gotta go pop a squat!" Bowser said, also trying to force himself out of the door way, until Luigi found a metal block in a nearby closet. He quickly used it, and forced Bowser through the door, then, dragged him to the front door, then kicked him outside.

Bowser receded into his shell, and spun as he was kicked out the door. He hit one of the Gundum and stopped, and various sounds could be heard from inside of the shell.

Then, a loud roar sounded just before, "DAMN IT!"

Luigi, while almost causing a disaster, couldn't help but grin at his own prank.

**Roythemanslayer smiled as this section was finished. "You're one sick fuck."**

"**Yeah, but your brother suggested I add toilet humor, and that's not really my skill. I just used some funny dialogue an I.R.L. Friend of mine uses when he has to use the bathroom on the walk home from school."**

"**I love you." Roythemanslayer said.**

**Dominator046 just looked at Roythemanslayer awkardly as he set the laptop down. "OOOOOOOkay...I'm going to run out for some Arby's, anyone want anything?"**

"**I'm up for a regular beef sandwich." FEARFAN said. "Sorry...haven't had a taste for fast food lately."**

**Dominator046 nodded. "Anything else?"**

"**One order of Cheese fries and a beef sandwich too." Roythemanslayer said.**

"**Nothing." Zammy said.**

"**What are we talking about again?" NeoNazo356 said.**

"**Alright, that's two beef sandwiches, one order of cheese fries, a number two, and four hundred-twenty two orders of cheese sticks." Dominator046 said, recounting the food people wanted.**

"**Your getting us all cheese sticks?" FEARFAN asked.**

"**The fuck am I ordering Cheese fries for!" Roythemanslayer.**

"**Hell no, get your own, I'm eating those. I fucking love those damn things." Dominator046 said, as he walked out the door, sword in hand, closing it behind him.**

"**Well...he'll be dead...thank god..." FEARFAN said.**

"**I can't believe he forgot you're the one who put him the in ropes." NeoNazo356 said.**

"**I know." FEARFAN said. "Zammy you're up!"**

**"YAY, MY TURN MY TURN!"**

Samus kept up the alluring smile and walked over to Ranyor, then faster than a striking snake punched him in the face and kneed him in the golden globes. The poor man fell to the ground.

"dream on idiot." Samus proceeded to use him as a rug as she walked to another room of the house.

***This part was added by FEARFAN.* **Ranyor held his balls in pain as he watched Samus walk away. He eventually recovered and regained his balance. "Women…" he muttered.** *End here.***

Duo ran out of the house and started inspecting his Gundam for any damage done from the crashed bike.

Zero had managed to elude the two insane women. He was hiding on the very top of the Gundam deathscythe. Zero remained quiet afraid that the girls would find him. He then remembered he had a book that X lent him and took it out, Homeland by R.A. Salvator. He opened the book and started reading.

"**Alright." Zammy said. "Done."**

"**Cool." FEARFAN said. "I think we're going to call in early."**

"**Why?" Zammy asked.**

"**Simply because I have no other ideas for jokes right now." FEARFAN said. "The Halftime game is next chapter."**


	10. Pre Half Time Part I

***FEARFAN looked at Zammy with confusion***

**FEARFAN: Zammy…seriously…I know you like ****R.A. Salvator, but doesn't mean Zero likes him.**

**Zammy: Hey you told me to write. You got what you asked for.**

***FEARFAN points at Zammy, but then his jaw drops in defeat.***

**FEARFAN: Well I feel sheepish. Alright you baaadddd girl. But no more freebies.**

**Zammy: Fair deal.**

**Roythemanslayer: To the Disney fans reading this: If you can find out the reference above, you get a cookie.**

**Current time: 7:00. Twenty minutes before the Half Time show**

The party now begun to go out of control. Mario was doing more cleaning than he was watching the game. Of course, the second quarter had now ended and the half time show was coming. Actually, that was more of a reason why Mario was doing more cleaning now. As of now, Falco was completely wasted and was stone cold asleep on the ground, currently being carried by Kat to a different room.

"Furry fans; rejoice!" Jack Cayman shouted.

Fox and Krystal we're looking intently.

"Okay…" Jack said. "I was not serious."

"Yeah well in case you haven't noticed," Fox said. "We are furries."

"No; you two are animals." Jack said.

"Right; furries." Fox said.

"No; see Furries is a sexual desire to watch animals go at it meme over the internet; which usually involves fan art and fanfiction; case in point you two." Jack said. "It doesn't mean animals."

"…Oh." Fox said.

"Wait…" Krystal said. "You said case in point us two…so…does that mean…"

"Uhhh…probably." Jack said.

Fox and Krystal turned completely red and began to pop open more beer and down it more. Samus herself looked slightly happier over where she was…of course she had downed four Bud lights now and was obviously intoxicated. Mario was desperately trying to fix the hole in the wall that Scorpion had made when he punched Sub-Zero out the window. Simon Belmont is still lost. Snake is now eyeing Samus with intent.

As that was happening, Zero was still on the top of the Gundam looking at the book he had. A few minutes later though, he perked up his head while in his book.

"What the fuck am I reading?" Zero said throwing the book off the Gundam.

As Zero began to stay there wondering what to do, he heard a long clang on the ground. He looked down to watch Axl slowly fly up with the book implanted in his head. He pulled it out and handed it to Zero.

"I believe this is yours." Axl said.

Axl flew on the top of Deathsycthe's head and sat down.

"So whatcha up here for?" Axl asked.

"Ahh…trying to avoid those horney dogs Iris and Ciel." Zero said.

"I got an idea." Axl said. "Why don't you work it out so I can get Ciel…and then you can have Iris?"

"Well…I guess that would we be one problem solved." Zero said. "You got a deal."

Zero and Axl shook hands and then leapt off the Gundam. When they landed both on the ground and heard a bone crunching sound.

"What was that?" Axl asked.

"I don't care." Zero said as they walked back into the house. As they did, a desperate looking hand rose from the ground.

"AAAAAhhhhhhhhhhoooooowwww….." Sub-Zero moaned.

Luigi sat down on the couch watching the TV. For once it felt good to be in charge. Mario had to clean the house for the party (since it was his party) and Luigi could do nothing. And besides, he had another plan in mind for Bowser who was busy cleaning out his shell in the back. Of course, no one really knew what happened other than the party guests Desmond, Altair, Ike, Marth, Lucario; who after several of chapters of not being even heard of finally decided to do something **(Hey; he's smart enough to avoid us, gotta give him that)**, and Riku forced Bowser out of the house. While Luigi sat down, Snake came back sneaking under the table.

"Yo." He said.

"Is it done?" Luigi said.

"You bet." Snake said as he came up. "Old Bowser will never know what gushed out of him. Literally; gushed out of him."

"Perfect!" Luigi said. "Where's the punch you we're going to give him?"

"Over there." Snake said pointing at an empty table. "Wait…where'd the punch go?

Luigi stared as Snake turned around to see Iris, Ciel, and Peach drinking what Bowser himself was supposed to drink.

"Thanks for the Punch boys." Iris said.

"Did somebody say Punch?" A drunk Captain Falcon said when he reentered the room. He turned his body towards Marth who was walking by. "FALLCCCOOOONNNN….PUNCH!"

The red burning eagle appeared and slammed right into Riku, who flew right out of the room and through the wall that Mario had just fixed. Mario's expression went from that of pride to anger. Not because he wanted to, but because he wanted to live in the house.

"Son of a bitch!" Mario shouted as he picked up his tools again.

To add to Mario's annoyance, Captain Falcon decided to throw up right there.

"Fuck!" Mario shouted as he left the room to get cleaning supplies. He pushed Captain Falcon down and he fell asleep right there. But Mario knew this wouldn't be the end of it. Luigi and Snake we're still looking at the whole ordeal. Meanwhile, Kirby was still dead on the floor from Chapter 9. Riku was now stone cold on the floor somewhere near by Sub-Zero.

"First I get carried around the area by an Eagle for two hours, now this." Riku said. "I don't win today.

Meanwhile back with Snake and Luigi.

"So…" Snake said. "Think we should tell them?"

"We'sa could." Luigi said.

A sly smile went on Luigi's face.

"Or we could just leave the punch there and forget all about it." Luigi said.

Snake got a smile himself.

"I got twenty bucks that Iris pisses herself first." Snake said.

"Twenty on Peach." Luigi said.

For Luigi and Snake had spiked the punch they made with a diuretic.

Altair and Ike became bored and since they both we're swordsman and had nothing better to do, the two began to spar in the middle of the room. Shinji, Asuka, Karowu, and Rei we're sitting on a couch in the room.

"This is cool!" Shinji said.

"I know…" Karowu said, putting his arm on Shinji.

Shinji looked awkwardly at Karowu.

"Karowu..." He said. "Why did you put your arm on me?"

"Because I love you." He said.

Shinji's eye twitched.

"Okay." Shinji said as he got off the couch. "We are not going through episode 24 again!"

"Which part?" Karowu asked. "The part where I said I loved you, or the four minute long sequence of us standing there looking at each other; which reinforces my point."

"Oh wow…" Lucario said sarcastically as he walked by. "Gay humor. Perfect."

"Wow." Asuka said. "Karowu makes you flip out, but when I kiss you…all you do is stand there. You are totally gay."

"No I'm not!" Shinji shouted.

"You totally are Shinji." Young Link said above.

"Yep." Saria said as she looked down below.

"You think I'm gay!" Shinji said. "You think I'M GAY! Come here Asuka!"

Shinji grabbed Asuka with such sudden force that she couldn't react. He put her in his arms and began to make out with her. Young Link and Saria stood there in shock.

"He can thank me later." Karowu said as he walked away.

And Rei…just stood there silently…reading her book.

Roy and Liliana moved a separate room and began to fall on her. Roy made out with Liliana and had already taken off her shirt and was already beginning to unbutton her bra. Geno was hanging out behind the couch. He took off his eyes and began to slowly rise them over to couch.

"This is awesome." He said. "This is like free softcore porn right here."

Roy grabbed the Sealed Sword and activated his power and touched Geno. Geno who was a wooden puppet, began to easily be lit on fire.

"AAAAHHHHHH!" He shouted. "I'm on fire. Someone HELP ME!"

Geno ran out of the room that Roy and Liliana we're at. Roy dropped his sword and began to take off her skirt off; following quickly her underwear. He got up with her legs and arms around him and moved her to a bed where he proceeded to fuck her.

**Dom looked in shock.**

"**That's it?" He said. "Just fuck her? You said you we're going to…"**

**FEARFAN laughed in both fear and humor.**

"**What do you mean Dom?" FEARFAN said. "Hehehe…I was going to have it this…way…don't you remember?"**

**FEARFAN moved his eyes back and forth behind him. Dom looked to see Five FCC agents with guns drawn behind them. Dom quickly began to act like FEARFAN.**

"**Yes…I remember now…" Dom said.**

Geno ran out of the room on fire and quickly passed by Simon who was still trying to navigate the house.

"Wait; hold on sir; I need your help; I need to know where the…" Simon said in one sentence.

"I'M ON FIRE!" Geno shouted as he ran away.

Simon looked in pure disbelief. He was still lost as far as he could tell. He continued to move on his own when he saw the door was open. He also saw Roy humping the girl.

"OH DEAR GOD AND SAVIOR!" Simon shouted shielding his eyes. "MY EYES!"

Roy and Liliana looked in pure shock. They had forgotten about Simon, since Simon had no idea where he was. Simon ran away from the door and began to run in any direction he could. Roy and Liliana while they saw him there shielded the body from Simon. When they saw he had left, they decided to go back it…when X came running down.

"What's going on…I heard…OH DEAR GOD!" X shouted.

Roy and Liliana again had to shield each other again. Roy although had accidently grabbed Liliana's breast by accident. Liliana had now reached her climax. Within the next minute, many unmentionable things that forever scarred Roy, X, and Liliana herself.

**FEARFAN put down his typewriter.**

"**Okay…" he said. "We really need to pull away from the sex here. It's starting to run rampant. This is the most disturbing chapter yet."**

Ranyor had left the majority of the party and began to bring in some of his own liquor. The beer was good, but Ranyor preferred hard liquor rather than beer. He brought over some Jack Daniels, Smirnoff, Hennesseys, and other assortments of whiskey. Currently, he, Sephiroth, Cloud, Leon, and Duo we're taking shots.

"Are you sure your old enough kid?" Ranyor asked Duo as he took a shot of whiskey. "You sure don't look like it."

"Well you do." Duo said.

Ranyor stood still.

"Is…is that supposed to be a joke; cause I really don't get it." Ranyor said.

"I'm 21, don't worry." Duo said.

"Hey!" Marth said. "Can I join?"

"Shut up pansy." Leon said.

"WHY DOES EVERYONE SAY THAT!" Marth shouted.

"Because you're not a man." Sephiroth said.

"Shut up pansy." Leon said.

"Damn it." Marth said.

As Marth turned around, he accidently slashed Wario.

"Ouch!" Wario said.

"Sorry." Marth said.

"Well, that's a start." Ranyor said.

"Start for what?" Marth asked.

"Being a man." Ranyor said.

"Shut up Pansy." Leon said.

"A man?" Marth asked. "You mean all I have to do to become a man is to hurt someone?" Marth asked.

"Yeah." Leon said.

"That's easy!" Marth shouted.

Marth grabbed his sword and stabbed Wario in the crotch.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Wario shouted.

"Welcome to the man table!" Cloud said as Marth walked over.

"Thanks; by the way, hey sorry about the whole, Samus in the balls thing." Marth said. "She hates men."

"That's okay." Ranyor said. "I've had my share of psychotic women."

"Yeah; tell us about those women again." Duo said.

"Okay." Ranyor said as he poured another shot. "Alright, this first girl I met. Her name was Kerrigan. She was redhead who helped me against the Terran Confederacy. We became good friends; and I did kind of like her. Then…she got infested by the evil Zerg and murdered 1.2 billion people."

Everyone looked at Ranyor as Ranyor gulped down another shot.

"Wow…" Duo said. "That…that…that tops any story I got…that's pretty awkward actually…that's not even funny…that's…horrible."

"I didn't say it was going to be funny." Ranyor said.

Sephiroth downed his Tequila shot and smacked his lips a couple times.

"So…what's her phone number?" Sephiroth said.

"You're…you're not serious right?" Ranyor said.

"While we're on topic, is she good in bed?" Sephiroth.

Ranyor shook his head and handed a piece of paper to Sephiroth.

"Your loss." Ranyor said.

"Hey guys; what's going on…OH what's this!" Sora said all in one sentence as he quick ran over to their table.

"Sora…" Cloud said. "I think you're amazing and you can kick my ass; but I do think you can handle these drinks. They are way above your alcohol tolerance which is…zero."

Sora snatched the little shot glass and drank the whole thing. Sora stood there for a few seconds.

"That was good." He said.

Sora walked away, leaving a stunned audience behind.

"There is something fucking wrong with that kid." Cloud said.

"Wow." Leon said. "He can beat your ass in real life; and in a game of drink. You Cloud have nothing on him."

"Shut up Leon." Cloud said.

It didn't take long after the three drank the punch with the diuretic in it for it to go to work. Within ten minutes after the three drank the diuretic, Iris, Ciel, and Peach we're all twitching on their couches. Iris crossed her legs, Ciel didn't even bother hiding she had to piss, and Peach danced in the room. Luigi and Snake giggled in the corner like little school girls.

"It'sa not Bowser…but it's still funny." Luigi said.

Snake and Luigi continued to laugh some more. Snake stopped abruptly in the middle of it.

"Is it wrong to having a boner from this?" Snake asked.

Luigi stopped and looked at him.

"Yes Snake." Luigi said. "Yes it is."

Eventually, all three of the girls ran from where they we're and dashed towards the bathroom. Luigi and Snake stopped their awkward stares and began to laugh again at the whole ordeal. Meanwhile, the three ran towards the restroom. Unfortunately the first one was taken. Sonic was still in the restroom as mentioned before in Chapter 9 taking the most violent shit of his life because of Mario's hot wings. At this point, the girls now had to walk with their hands on their crotch to the bathroom as they couldn't run with their bladders full. As Ciel who was the last in line walked, Axl went up to here.

"Yo Ciel!" Axl said.

"Uhh…" Ciel said. "Hey Axl…"

"How ya doing?" He asked.

"Fine." She said, fidgeting and trying to not make it obvious.

"So…" Axl said as he walked over and put his arm heavily on her shoulder, which caused her great distress. "So what's with you and Zero?"

"Umm…" She said. "Can this wait Axl? I really need to…"

"No it can't." Axl said. "I see that you're always worried about something."

"Axl!" She said. "Please! This really needs to wait!"

"Why?" Axl said. "Is there something wrong? It is cause you think Zero likes Iris more than you?"

"Yes; no; maybe…" Ciel said. She slapped her hand on her mouth and kept moving her legs up and down.

"It is, isn't it?" Axl said.

"No! Axl! I need to…"

"Need to have a man who actually likes you." Axl said. "Like me."

"Like you?" Ciel said.

"Yeah." Axl said. "I always thought you we're kind of cute. C'mon Ciel…we could make a perfect couple."

Axl began to put his arms her and squeezed her stomach. That was all she needed to end it. Ciel began to spray her pee out from her skirt, although she held it back in. Axl looked at her and saw her skirt wet and the water on the floor.

"Wait…" Axl said. "Do you have to pee!"

"I can't hold it!" She said.

Axl and Ciel began to scramble around the room trying to figure out what to do while Ciel began to sprinkle. Axl saw a vase nearby him.

"Wait…" Axl said. "Pee in this!"

"What?" Ciel said as she gripped herself tighter than ever.

"Either that or in your pants!" Axl shouted.

She never have considered doing that in front of Axl, but she was desperate; plus it was a party and with the sexual harassment she had done to Zero, well she had embarrassed herself enough already. She literally ripped off her skirt, underwear, and tights and pissed in the vase while standing.

"OH dear God." She said. "I feel so much better."

"Move!" Peach shouted as she and Iris tried to get into a bathroom.

"I gotta piss!" Iris said.

"So do I!" Iris shouted.

Iris managed to overpower Peach because she was a robot. She ran into the bathroom and left Peach outside. Peach didn't know what to do as she was almost to the point of ripping out her hair. She then saw a vase nearby. With no other option, she pulled up her dress, got her underpants down, and pissed in the vase. Because her dress was long, no one seemed to notice and they assumed she was resting…as she said. Except for Luigi and Snake when they walked by. They laughed their asses off cause they knew what she meant. Iris thought she had it perfect, but in the end saw Samus in the bathroom puking in the toilet. Iris tried to get her to move, but couldn't. She ended up holding her crotch and twisting her legs until her bladder couldn't hold anymore and pissed herself. The whole front side of her dress and her stockings we're soaked now. Embarrassed, Iris walked out of the bathroom. She saw Peach on the jar.

"Oh come on!" She said.

"Karma." Peach said.

Iris walked out enraged. Peach laughed at Iris while Ezio stood off to the side looking at Peach.

Meanwhile somewhere in the kitchen while Altair was eating, he looked at Saria and Young Link as they walked by.

"What is it?" Desmond asked who was eating right next to him.

"Look at those two." Altair said.

Young Link and Saria walked by holding hands, Saria kissing his neck and Young squeezing her ass.

"Those two are nothing more than mice." Altair said. "All they want to do is hump."

"Reminds me of myself at that age." Desmond said. "Don't blame them."

Suddenly, he scampered up and dropped his plate.

"FUCK!" He shouted. "That's right! I forgot! I have to get Lucy a gift! Fuck I am so dead!"

Desmond ran to a window and jumped out of it, remembering to open it first as Mario had berated him earlier for pulling a dare to hit Sephiroth in the back of the head and run away; which he did not do successfully. He was gone within five minutes. Altair just ate his meal normally. Mario began to become extremely enraged about the whole ordeal. He grabbed a bud light (his first tonight) and popped open one by Bowser who just walked back in from cleaning out his shell using a garden hose.

"You know what I find funny?" Mario asked.

"Other than the fact we're currently having a civil conversation right now, what?" Bowser said.

"That'sa everyone seems to be leaving the house in unusual ways." Mario said. "I'sa think im'a the only one who has used the door the entire day."

"I see." Bowser said. "So...now...don't get mad...but would this be a real bad time time to show you how I got in?" Bowser said pointing a direction.

Mario looked to see an entire wall missing and portion of the house on fire. Bowser just looked at him with worry.

"Yeah..." Bowser said. "I'm just going to let you deal with that."

"Vai a farti fottere" Mario said as Bowser walked away."

"Cosa?" Ezio shouted. "Hai appena mi dicono di andare affanculo!"

"No! Non ti Ezio!" Mario began saying in his native tonuge. "Aspetta, parli italiano!"

"Si." Ezio said.

"Wow. Io non lo sapevo." Mario said. "Ciao Luigi! Ezio parla italiano."

"Really?" Luigi shouted. "Ezio Ho pensato che fossimo gli unici italiani qui. Nessuna meraviglia che ho riconosciuto il tuo accento."

"Lo so." Ezio said. "Che cosa è ancora più divertente è che ho uno zio di nome Mario. E lui sembraanche tu, appena più alto. Inferno, ha anche detto la vostra frase firma, "E 'un meMario!"

"Davvero!" Mario shouted and laughed. "Tuo zio è impressionante!"

Mario, Luigi, and Ezio began to laugh and walk with each other, forcing Jack to get up and take of the flames. Sick of watching the place burn down, he had Zelda use her magic to rebuild the whole thing. Meanwhile, Bowser just stared at the three.

"Okay." Bowser said. "What the fuck did you just say?"

The three Italains looked at each other.

"Oh we are so abusing that." Mario said.

"I know." Ezio said. "Quindi, posso avere un colpo a quel principessa del tuo?"

"Vai a farti fottere." Mario said.

"Per favore?" Ezio said. "Come su un tre vie?"

"Nou." Mario said. "Aspetta ... forse. Fammi ubriacare. Poi parleremo."

And thus, Mario's plan began.

**FEARFAN: Fuck it! I want to write the sex scene between Roy and Liliana!**

***The FCC agents cock their guns. Suddenly five shots go off. Dom and everyone else closed their eyes at first and then look to see Roythemanslayer with a shotgun and the agents dead.**

**Roythemanslayer: Fuck censorship.**

***Everyone cheers***

**FEARFAN: Alright then people. Without further ado, this is the whole sex scene between Roy and Liliana.**

Roy slowly began to…

***Chapter ends***

**FEARFAN: OH bloody hell; we ran out of time.**

**I used google translate for the Italian so if anyone here speaks Italian and corrects me, you'll know how I did it wrong. I speak Greek and Spanish, not Italian. These are the rough translations:**

**Mario: Go fuck yourself.**

**Ezio: What! Did you just tell me to fuck off?"**

**Mario: No! Not you Ezio! Wait, you speak Italian?**

**Ezio: Yes.**

**Mario: Really? Awesome. Hey Luigi! Ezio speaks Italian.**

**Luigi" Really? That's awesome. I knew I recognized your accent Ezio.**

**Ezio: I know. It's even funnier because I have an Uncle who is also named Mario. He also looks alot like you, just taller. He even says, "It's a me, Mario."**

**Mario: Really? Your Uncle is awesome.**

**Ezio: So any chance I can have the Princess?"**

**Mario: Go fuck yourself.**

**Ezio: Please? How about a three way?**

**Mario: No...wait...maybe. Let me get her drunk first...then we'll talk.**


	11. Half Time Show

**Dominator046: Jesus FEARFAN! How long does it take you to update something!**

**FEARFAN: Hey I got something in my existence called a "real fucking life."**

**Roythemanslayer: Minecraft is not a real life.**

**FEARFAN: Shut up…they don't have to know that.**

**Roythemanslayer: But you just typed it…they already know…**

**FEARFAN:…fuck…**

**Current time: 7:15…five minutes before half time.**

The Half time show was literally only five minutes, and everyone who had been dying to see the Who perform on stage was now at the edge of their seats.

"Now remember…" Mario said. "I know everyone is going to want to light a lighter as if you were in the concert stands yourself…but please…do remember that this my home…so don't go beyond the limits you need to."

Mario turned around to see that his words were the equal to shit. Jack Cayman had already got his lighter ready for the occasion. Scorpion was also becoming festive as he lit his entire arm on fire…seeing as he lacked a lighter. Ezio and Altair had full blown oil torches, with some of the wood chips on it falling to the ground, creating random fires. Solid Snake had lit a tactical insertion, while Ganondorf was physically holding a fireball in his hand. The amount of methods they were using to enjoy the show could easily destroy the entire house. Even Luigi had a fireball in his hand.

"Okay Luigi…everyone else I can understand…but this is your house!" Mario barked.

"I'm not cleaning up this year." Luigi said, forming a troll face.

Mario glared at him, his face turning beat red, steam coming out of his ears.

It was at this time that Link had finally come back from doing the obvious to Ilia. Link came back, but with only the bottom portion of his tunic on, and a white t shirt instead of his tunic. He fell on the couch next to Cloud, his arms on the back of his hand. Young Link saw his dad while Zero spat out his beer at another commercial.

"Dad…where have you been!" He shouted. "The Half time show was about to start."

"I've been…busy." He said, trying to think of what to say.

"Where's mom?" Young Link asked.

"Yeah…" Link said. "Your mom is really….really…tired."

Young Link looked at his dad funny…obviously missing the inference. He returned to the TV, which was busy playing adds for the inevitable half time show. Link himself cracked open probably his first beer of the night, unlike Ilia who had been drinking heavily prior before this (which may have explained her sudden bout in hormones).

"What a miss?" Link asked Cloud.

"Well let's see…" Cloud said. "Scorpion and Sub-Zero got their jobs back apparently, Samus is drunk, Some guy named Ranyor crashed into Duo's Gundam…"

"Wait; how the hell did he miss that?" Link asked.

"That's…actually what I wanted to know." Cloud continued.

"For your information…" Ranyor began. "Tequila just so happens to be a strong drink."

Link and Cloud stared at Ranyor. Cloud then resumed.

"As I was saying…Ranyor crashed, Bowser shit himself, Captain Falcon is beyond wasted…"

An example of this came swiftly a few seconds later. Captain Falcon, in a drunken haze went in front of Altair. "FALCON…PUNCH!" He shouted, smashing his fist into Altair. Altair flew into a wall, making a hole in the shape of himself in it. Obviously Altair was at his last straw and grabbed the Eagle's sword, jumping at him.

"That's it; I have had it with this wretch!" He barked. "Let at him…I'll show him how an Assassin Falcon Punches someone!"

It took Leon, Scorpion, and Snake to hold him back as he swung his arms everywhere, trying to reach Captain Falcon. Captain Falcon remained conscious for only a few more seconds before passing out. While he did that, Samus in her drunken haze fell on top of Cloud's lap, looking seductively at him. Before long, she began to give Cloud a lap dance. Most people who knew Samus and her hard ass personality were shocked, and began to realize the prevalent effects of alcohol. "Hey cutie…" She said, moving her face towards him. Cloud began to slouch back, trying recede into the couch.

"I need an adult…I need an adult!" He barked.

"Cloud…you are an adult." Link said.

"Shut up; she doesn't know that." Cloud barked back.

Samus began to get bored as Cloud became scared and was about to get up. Then Cloud looked at her.

"I didn't say stop." He said.

Samus then resumed what she was doing earlier.

Link simply ignored Cloud and continued to watch the previews for the half time show. While Link sat, Ganondorf had a phone call. He apparently swapped his ringtone to replace the horrid one that someone had switched with him (aka Dom). However…he also forgot to silence it. The ringtone was actually the theme song for My little Pony: Friendship is magic. At first Ganondorf looked embarrassed, and everyone was on the verge of breaking lose in laughter. However…he then stood up defiantly and looked at everyone.

"You know what…" He said. "I don't even care. I am damn proud to be a brony. And if you don't watch that show…fuck you."

Ganondorf grabbed his armor and then ripped off the top portion of it. This revealed a T shirt with Pinkie Pie on the cover. He then walked out without a second glance to take his phone call. There were of course the obvious snickers and laughter, but most people did not laugh. Mostly because unlike the last time they did this, Ganondorf was not as receptive as this time. Leon stood there…in wonderment.

"Well…" He said. "We are not so different after all."

Leon took off his jacket, which had a picture of Fluttershy on it. While he did that, Sora returned into the room and saw Samus and Cloud having a lap dance. Of course, Sora being a kid had no idea what she was doing, and why there seemed to be more couch than Cloud at the moment. Samus…in her drunken state, gave Sora her camera.

"Hey…Sora…" She said, slurring most of her speech. "Take a picture of me and lover boy."

"Okay!" he said, taking a picture with the camera phone. "You don't mind if I upload this to facebook, okay?"

"Sure." She said.

"Cool!" Sora said. "I'm actually taking photos here to preserve my memories of this whole party."

"Wait Sora!" Cloud shouted. "You're not friends with Tifa and Aerith right?"

"Actually I am." He said, clicking send on the photo.

"Wait SORA NO!" He shouted, diving for the phone. After an intense struggle with the unusually strong kid, Cloud got the phone. But only in enough time to see the words "Sent" appear below. Cloud looked at it as if he lost a friend. After taking a second, he regained his composure.

"Well…" He began. "I need to find a new place to live. Leon…do you mind if I crash at your place for a bit?"

"Screw you." He said.

"Yeah; way to be mature about this." Cloud said.

The half time show was nearing and everyone was becoming irate. People here (such as Jack, Sonic, and Snake) were actually getting in their "Who" shirts. Sonic…being the fact having quills for his back, ending up ripping his shirt. When he got it on, it ended up falling off in pieces.

"Ahh crap; that was money well spent." Sonic said.

While began to complain about that, Iris emerged from the hallway and then went over to Zero. She then sat on Zero's lap, which Zero was surprised at the spunkiness. But then he also noticed that she had changed her dress

"Iris…what's with the new dress?" he asked.

"Nothing." She said.

While he did that, X then appeared, very much in a daze. He sat down next to Zero, and cracked open two beers. Zero immediately spotted this and looked at X.

"X…is something wrong?" He asked.

"I…saw things I shouldn't have." X said, still staring blankly at the TV.

"You okay their champ?" Iris said.

"Do you want us to erase your memory of the last hour or so?" Zero asked.

"That would be lovely." X said, still blankly staring at the TV.

Zero…slowly…approached X and opened a side panel on his armor. After a few minutes of working with things, X was shut down and fell on the couch with a blank expression looking up at the ceiling. It took Zero a minute or so, but then he managed to get it working. But then he looked at some switches.

"Hold on…this doesn't look right." Zero said. "Was it…flick this…move that or…"

"Try that." Iris said.

Zero looked at the switch she was pointing at. He flicked that and then closed the panel. After hitting X's crystal for his helmet, X woke up and yawned.

"Aaaahhhhh…que fue una Buena siesta." X said

"Ahh come on!" Zero said. "This is wonderful…I changed his default language!"

"Que estas hablando de…" X began. Then X realized what he was saying. "Aye Deois! Puedo solo hablo espanol! Tu erses el diablo Zero!"

Zero stared at X blankly for a few seconds.

"Okay…who knows Spanish?" Zero asked.

Not a single hand in the room was raised. Zero sighed with obvious annoyance in his tone.

"Okay…well this sucks." Zero said.

"Mira quien hablar." X said.

"X…we can't understand you." Zero said. "I think it's better if you don't talk…while…I try to figure out what to do."

"Tu puta." X said.

"HEY; I UNDERSTOOD THAT!" Zero shouted angrily, leaping towards X, grabbing him. Zero then flew towards a wall broke a large portion of the wall. Mario's mouth dropped down to his knees, hoping that he would have contained such ruckus. To his dismay, not even close. Everyone looked out as they saw Zero trying to swing his saber at X, while X shot his X-Busters. Iris looked off to the side next to Mario.

"Yeah…" She said. "This might be a really bad time to say I can speak Spanish."

Mario could feel anger boiling in his blood…literal steam coming out of his ears. Iris looked at Mario.

"Hey Mario you okay?" She asked.

Mario did nothing but point at her. Iris felt as if she saw the devil himself in his anger. She held her hands up to her face and receded into the back of the room. After a minute, Mario returned to normal.

"You know what?" He said. "I'll just call Lowe's tomorrow morning…I don't even care anymore."

"So I can break stuff!" Sephiroth said. "Awesome."

Sephiroth grabbed his sword and swung at it the nearest vase he could find and broke it. Mario at first raised his fist in anger, but then calmed down again.

"Hey Mario…I thought you would be angry at this." Cloud asked, as Samus began to unbutton his shirt.

"Ahh…that's just a replica of another vase." Mario said. "He didn't."

Mario heard another crash. To his dismay, he looked up to see that Sephiroth had broken the actual vase, and not the worthless replica. Mario's facial expression dropped to sorrow.

"I'm sad now." He said.

The sound of Mario's sorrow was drowned out by X and Zero fighting, which made for quite the entertainment while they waited for the half time show. Lucario himself was even watching this spectacle from a window nearby. He then decided that maybe he should stop being a forever alone and decided to return to the party. He passed by Ganondorf, who was having an annoying conversation with his dad, Demise the Demon King.

"No dad…I haven't killed the Hero yet." HE said. After inexplicable yelling, Ganondorf said. "Dad…I'm trying. It's harder than it looks…you should know that better than me." More inexplicable yelling later, Ganondorf became enraged at the phone.

"FINE! You never loved me dad!" He shouted. There was a long awkward silence. After a minute and some inaudible noise from the phone, Ganondorf continued.

"Yes…I love you too dad." He said. "What…no I do want to go to uncle Ghirahim's party. Why…because he's creepy! Your brother…servant…sword…thing; I don't know, I forget! I can't help but feel that I'm going to get raped in the night every time we are over there. Not to mention he brought that…blue bitch over…what's her name…Fe…I talked to her once and she made me feel like an idiot. Yeah the strippers and fan girls to get laid by are nice…I will give you that one…but still…no…I do not want to go….yes…I'll talk to you later…yes Im at a Super Bowl party…yes with him…its neutral ground and it's a special occasion…we will kill each other afterwards…yes…yes this time I won't fail…yes…okay…yes…"

Ganondorf hung up his phone. He then sighed.

"I liked my existence better when I didn't have a dad." He muttered. "I need vodka…lots and lots of vodka right now."

Lucario ignored Ganondorf's family issues (more or less…he was wondering why he was wearing a MLP shirt) continued to move forward. As he did, he heard inexplicable moaning and sounds of pleasure in another room. Lucario opened the door to see what was going on to see Axl and Ciel boning in a bedroom. As soon as he opened the door, Axl leapt out of Ciel and screamed. "

Oh god Zero it's not what it looks like…okay so its totally what it looks like and…oh." Axl said all in one sentence. Ciel quickly retreated under the covers to hide her breasts Axl and Lucario stared at each other for awhile.

"Hey could you not tell Zero about this?" Axl asked.

"With all the trouble these girls gave him, I think you did him a favor." Lucario said.

And then Lucario walked off to the room where the TV was, leaving Axl and Ciel to resume boning.

Meanwhile Ranyor had gone out to his vulture and brought in some of the strongest drinks there. Before long, the entire party had plenty of hard alcohol, such as tequila, rum, and whisky…well at least more of it. Ike and Marth were still drinking by the "man table" as they called it.

However, it didn't take long until they heard the opening of the Half time show. It was starting.

"The National Football league presents! Bridgestone Superbowl 44 Half time show!" The announcer said loudly. It was so loud that even X and Zero heard it and dashed back to the couch.

"About time!" Zero shouted.

"Si, lo se!" X shouted.

And then the half time show began. Everyone in the room lit the lighters (or their weapons, or hands as mentioned earlier) as the show began to play. The most notable song that everyone sang was Teenage Wasteland. Even Sephiroth and Cloud had their hands on each other's shoulders while the song played.

Out here in the fields!

I fought for my meals!

I get my back into the living!

I don't need to fight!

To Prove I'm right!

I don't need to be forgiven!

Don't Cry!

Don't raise your eye!

It's only Teenage Wasteland!

The exodus is here

The happy ones are near

Let's get together

Before we get much older

Teenage wasteland

It's only teenage wasteland

Teenage wasteland, oh yeah

Teenage wasteland

They're all wasted

"Look at those old guys move." Jack said. "I can't believe they can still move like that!"

"Drugs are awesome man!" Ike said.

Cloud and Sephiroth were actually dancing the whole time with beers in their hands.

"This is an awesome party." Sephiroth said.

"Yeah." Cloud said. "I actually forgot why I hated you."

"Cause I mortally wounded your girlfriend once." Sephiroth said, laughing.

Cloud then suddenly snapped back to reality.

"Hey that's right." He said. "Get the hell off me stupid!"

**FEARFAN: There…this is all I can think of now.**

**Roythemanslayer: A MLP reference? Really?**

**FEARFAN: STFU. It's funny!**


	12. 3rd Quarter: The Baller

**Roythemanslayer:** You know Mike, you should seriously start updating your fics more often and…

**FEARFAN: **Fuck you honkey; I do what I want!

**Roythemanslayer: **Okay whatever; it's not like your fics don't get updated…it's just that any update takes over a few months…

**Current time: 7:45 PM. 2 hours and 15 minutes left in the game.**

After the half time show, it was time for dessert, as everyone had filled up on all the fatty entrees; albeit a few who just don't eat or never gain weight off screen. The room was filled satisfied looks…with the exception of Cloud who decided to have raunchy sex with Samus in her drunken state.

"Ugghhh…" Wario said. "I haven't ate that much food since yesterday."

"Boy, that's not surprising in the least." Ike said.

Wario didn't care. He was very self-conscious about his weight, and didn't really care what people said. Mario put on his chef hat and then put apron on. He then went in front of everyone

"Okay people…I think I'm going to make a couple of cherry pies to finish off our meal. Who wants some?"

There were many muffled grunts, and questioning talks moving about the Living room. Mario; who wanted a very specific number of how many pies to make, tapped his front foot. Normally pies would go great to finish off a meal…what would he…and then it hit him.

"With cream cheese and whipped cream." He muttered.

Everyone's hand spiked up sharply.

"Knew it." He said, walking out of the living room.

The third quarter then began. The people watched as the game progressed, and then Perri Thomas caught the ball and managed to get to the touchdown field without being pulled down. There were moans, there were cries, and there were many sounds of disapproval on the situation. But then the sounds of shouting and arguing came up as the Colts scored another touchdown yet again. Leon grabbed his gunblade and pointed it at the TV in rage. And then he put it down.

"Damn; I keep forgetting this is not an actual gun." He said. "It's the most convoluted weapon ever crafted. Can't shoot the TV out in rage."

"That would actually have been more civilized than what Pikachu would have done." Ganondorf responded, gulping another beer down in a few seconds.

"First of all; damn I do not want to have a drinking contest with you." Leon said.

"Yeah…see there's a disadvantage to being this god like being." Ganondorf said, throwing the can behind him.

"What's that?" Fox asked.

"You don't get drunk." He said.

Leon turned behind Ganondorf and saw a mountain of cans (over 100) behind the couch with beer leaking out of them sometimes. He then pondered the frightfulness of having the very point of why people were drinking removed from drinking.

"Okay…" He said. "Second of all, what did Pikachu do?"

"Well first of all…for some reason…Pikachu is a hard core Patriots fan. So when they were losing in 08', he used Thunder on the whole Smash Brothers arena. The entire power grid in the Tri state area went out for ten days, resulting the pillaging of the entire city until the cops finally put down most of the unrest. And Pikachu didn't give a damn about what he did either. It was the most horrific/awesome thing I ever saw. My only regret is I didn't see the rest of the game."

"Consequently, someone ratted him out and Pikachu spent two nights in the slammer; before breaking out." Link said. "Hasn't been caught since…still haven't figured out who ratted him out though."

The commercials came up while Bowser laughed under his breath. Link decided to check the news really fast, which was cool to everyone. When they changed the news to Channel 22 news after their logo had just ended.

"Channel 22 news. When the shit hits the fan, we'll be there to make a quick buck. Hi…I'm Ron Burgundy (**That's right…I'm x overing with Anchorman bitches) **. Today on Channel 22 news, a rogue who has been on police's most wanted list for over two years has finally apprehended."

The screen changed then from the anchors to helicopter footage of a city. There were five squad cars on a highway road chasing a small yellow mouse.

"The suspect is confirmed to have been a giant yellow mouse, or Pikachu as they are commonly referred to in the wild. We are not entirely sure what caused this particular Pikachu to cause the great out Black Out as it did two years ago, but the police has decided not to ask questions and put the rodent down before more damage is caused. Recently the stock market…"

Link quickly then changed back to the sports network, and everyone stared at the TV. There was a long awkard silence for a few minutes as everyone glared at the TV.

"Well speak of the devil…" Luigi said.

"Yeah…" Link said. "So who's going to pay the bail?"

No one raised their hand. Link sighed and sat back down.

"Yeah I figured that much." Link said.

Mario began to hastily prepare the pies of which he knew everyone would indulge in. He placed about six in the stove and turned on the stove. As he did, Simon fell out of the ventilation shaft and landed on the ground.

"OH GOD; BURGLAR!" Mario shouted, grabbing a spoon and hurling it at Simon.

"Oh thank god I finally…OH GOD MARIO!" Simon shouted. But it was too late. Simon was hit with the spoon so hard that he fell down the laundry chute, disappearing into the darkness. Mario stood in the kitchen, confused on what transpired. But then he shrugged his shoulders and proceeded to bake the rest of the pies in the stove.

The party continued in the living room, with drinking becoming far more active than usual. Fox himself was now feeling buzzed from the amount of drinks he consumed, and Kyrstal herself was now fully drunk, sitting in between her boyfriend's legs. It didn't take long though till all of the beers were gone.

"Dammit!" Scorpion said. "We're out of beer!?"

"How is that possible!?" jack shouted. "We had seriously over 100 12 packs."

"Yeah that was totally my fault." Ganondorf said, downing another one in one gulp. "See…I've been trying to get drunk all night…but alas…my god like body prevents such human functions from happening. Because of that, I have been constantly drinking these, hoping to get drunk and forget the fact I have failed to slay the hero for more than three games now; only to find my efforts are entirely futile."

Everyone glared at Ganondorf with anger, but Ganondorf stood there defiant. Some empty cans (and even a vodka bottle thrown at him by Kirby) but he stood there.

"Seriously…I'm invincible to everything except the Master sword." He said. "I'm not moving."

Link then drew the sword and poked him side. Ganondorf flew in the air in pain for a few seconds, and then landed ass first on the blade, making him fly further in the air. Ganondorf rubbed his ass when he landed to dull the pain and bleeding, and looked at Link.

"All right, all right, all right I'm going!" Ganondorf said. "Make the King of Evil go on a beer run…the King of Evil!"

Ganondorf disappeared in the same fashion Link was used to him vanishing in Twilight Princess. Link then spun his sword in his hand and sheathed it.

"Thanks man." Herro said. "But what are we going to do about drinks until then?"

"I got an idea!" Luigi shouted.

Luigi went over to a small liquor cabinet and threw it towards Kirby. Kirby looked at the cabinet, opened his mouth, and consumed it. Then Kirby swallowed it and turned into a cabinet. Luigi went over to Kirby, took out some vodka, whisky, and bourbon. Then he shut the door. He reopened it a second later with the same stuff he brought out right back in. He continued to do this until he brought out thirty bottles. Kirby then opened his mouth, took out the cabinet, and put it right back on the ground.

"Holy shit…" Duo said. "That…is pretty awesome."

Jack Cayman then walked over and took one of the bottles of Jack. As he did and walked back, he turned to Luigi.

"Why didn't we do that five minutes ago?" He asked.

Luigi's face froze up.

"Umm…" He said. "I didn't think about that."

"You know Ganon's going to be super pissed when he finds out right?" Zelda said as Peach came back from the hallway and sat next to her.

"Ahh what's the worst that can happen." Luigi said. After saying that, he receded his head into his hat and looked around fearfully. After a few minutes of examination, and when nothing seemed to happen, he got right back up and sat in his chair.

"Oh wow…nothing." Luigi said.

Luigi sat back down as Bowser typed something on his phone. Sora, Riku, and Kairi (who's menstrual cycles had finally calmed down) sat in anticipation of the game.

"Damn." Riku said. "C'mon Saints; pick up the pace already. We don't want those IN people to win!"

Kairi's reaction seemed to snap and she turned to Riku. Riku felt as if he had unlocked Pandora's box and began to move crawl away on the couch. Kairi drew her keyblade and began to move towards Riku.

"What…did you say?" She asked.

"No..no…nothing?" He stuttered.

"What…did…you…say…five…seconds ago?" She asked.

"Oh come on it's not like you live there!" Riku shouted. He then sealed his mouth for what he just said to Kairi. Kairi then began to bash at his Keyblade as he defended himself. Sora stood watching the TV.

"Heh." He muttered. "I have no idea how this game is played."

"Well who do you want to win Sora?" Riku asked, almost getting hit in the head from Kairi.

"I don't know." He said. "I guess I really don't care."

Kairi and Riku suddenly stopped and went on both sides of Sora.

"C'mon Sora…vote for the Saints and stick with your best friend." Riku said.

"Hey Sora…you should vote for the Colts with me." Kairi said.

Sora couldn't help but feel tension while being wedged in between his friends. Riku and Kairi then began a small tug of war to bring Sora closer to the other. Both Riku and Kairi did whatever they could to keep Sora out of the hands of the other.

"C'mon Sora…the Colts are aligned with the darkness." Riku said. "You don't want to be with them!"

"Really?" He asked.

"Hey Sora…" Kairi said.

Sora turned to Kairi, who had put her fingers in her mouth. She then smiled as she blushed and then began to move her hand towards the left strap of her dress. She intentionally split her legs enough to display her cotton white panties (which ended up attracting Fox's attention, but Krystal was too drunk to even notice).

"Hey Sora…" Kairi said. "If you come over here and root for the Colts, I'll give you a night you won't forget."

Only a few moments later did she begin to pull down the strap of her dress and reveal her bra to Sora in full.

"Oh that is so unfair Kairi!" Riku shouted. "How the hell am I supposed to top that!?"

Kairi simply snickered and continued to rub her breast in Sora's direction. Riku began to choke Sora and move him towards himself.

"Sora; I swear to god man…don't fall for it!" Riku shouted. "This is a total bait and switch."

Sora then leapt in the air and landed away from them.

"You know what; forget it." He said. "I'm going to go to Organization XIII's castle…at least they won't be making me fight over sides."

And then Sora leapt out the window (breaking it) and flew out of the mansion. Riku and Kairi sat there completely shocked at what they just witnessed and saw. Riku sighed and then went back to watching the game, but not before Kairi poked him on the shoulder. Riku then turned to Kairi.

"What?" He asked; but then stopped as he began to blush. Kairi had not moved from her position that she set up for Sora.

"You know…" She said. "Doing that got me all horney. So you want to go in the bedroom and have some fun, or am I going to have to do this all to myself?"

"I thought you had a heart of light!?" Riku shouted.

"That's what makes it so naughty Riku…" She moaned.

She licked her fingers and Riku watch as the drool fell from her lips and towards Riku. Riku only sat down for one minute more before he leapt out of the bed with Kairi close behind. Even as she ran she was already busy removing her clothing. Young Link managed to get a glimpse of it before the two left.

"Damn…" He muttered. "No wonder Saria gets me in her bedroom all the time."

"What?" Link asked.

Young Link gulped, completely forgetting he was watching the Super Bowl with his father. Link stood over him, madder than ever. Young Link give his dad a bad poker face and leapt over the couch. Link went trailing right after him.

"What's done is done!" Young shouted.

"Get back you little punk!" Link shouted. "Wait till your mother hears about this!"

They continued to run off to the side, until they couldn't be heard. X rubbed his head and sighed.

"Realmente no debería tener relaciones sexuales a su edad." He said.

"X…no one can understand you…" Zero said. "Just shut up."

More minutes began to pass on the counter. Tension was getting high between the two teams now; as well as the two groups. Geno was now threatening people with firearms should the Colts lose. An accidental shot forced Zero to Shoryuken him into the air, where he disappeared. Shinji and Rei we're watching on a couch to themselves. Despite not really understanding the mechanics of the game, Shinji was actually having a great time…mostly because he wasn't fighting Eldritch abominations in a giant robot suit. Rei…didn't seem to give a rat's ass about anyone, or even why she was there. Asuka was ranting in incoherent german, which forced several responses from Snake, who somehow is his career as a spy knew German. This of course however turned her on because of her addiction to older men.

"So…" She said. "Where are you from?"

Snake grunted in frustration.

"God to be 16 again…I would so jump in this." Snake muttered.

"Jump in what?" She asked playfully.

"Someone get this girl off me before I do something I regret!" Snake shouted. He then grabbed a cloaking device, pushed a button and disappeared. Footsteps trailed out of the room.

"What…wait…what?" She asked.

"He is long gone." Ezio said, suddenly appearing on the couch next to her, with his hands on his chin. "Bad news for him…opportunity for me."

Asuka then proceeded to do the same thing to Ezio (more or less because Ezio was making advances anyway). The two began to talk, and eventually someone had to say something to him. Lucario walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

"You realize she is in 8th grade right?" He asked.

"I don't know what that is." Ezio said.

"Okay…let me reiterate." He said. "You realize that she is like 14 right?"

"I can dig it." He said. "No such age restrictions where I come from."

Ezio then pointed both his fingers at Lucario and made a clicking sound with his tongue. He held that pose for a few minutes and then went to Lucario's ear.

"That's…that's what people do to be cool right?" He asked.

"Forty years ago." Lucario said.

"Close enough!" Ezio shouted, resuming his conversation with Asuka. Lucario face-palmed himself and then walked away, unwilling to talk about this any further. He then went and sat down to watch the remaining commercials as the Fourth Quarter was nearing.

Eventually Ganondorf returned, with about 30 cases of Budlight, and blood on his sword. Mario had arrived again to roll in the pies.

"Okay…who want's pies?" Mario asked.

"…What pies?" Altair asked.

Mario looked to see all the pies missing, and Sonic off to the side smacking his lips.

"Ahh man those were good." He said. "Thanks Mario."

"You mother fucker." Mario said nonchalantly. He then noticed the large amount of beer Ganondorf brought as he was unloading them in cooler.

"Hey Ganondorf." Mario said. "Why'd you get the beer?"

"Cause I drank all the beer we had, hoping to get drunk." Ganondorf said. "Turns out…I can't get drunk…"

Mario then noticed the mountain of cans that Ganondorf had left behind the couch.

"And I see you didn't bother to clean up?" He asked, trying hard to maintain a smile.

"Yeah; Luigi pretty much implied that you were cleaning so I was all like, okay whatevs." Ganondorf mumbled.

Mario then noticed that there was visible blood on the Executioner sword. It became fairly obvious fast that Ganondorf may have been out doing more than just a beer run.

"Ganondorf…why is there blood on your sword?" He asked.

"I held up the liquor store so I get the beer for free." He said. "But then these shumcks decided that I couldn't do that. So I showed them I could…with my sword."

"But…" Mario said.

"Yeah you might not want to discuss that around the tri state area for about a year or so." He said.

"But why?" Mario asked.

"HOW DID YOU NOT SEE THIS COMING!?" Ganondorf shouted. "I'm the King of Evil, mother fucker!"

Mario raised up his hand, but Ganondorf put his hand in his way.

"Yes I understand Mario that by saying that I have subjected myself to black stereotypes." He said. "Yes…it is the final nail in the coffin to my public image and personal intergrity. And…I'll probably cry over that tomorrow. But I don't care anymore as today is a day that people ruin their images anyway. Now I'm going to go sit back in my chair like a baller, and watch the rest of this game!"

Ganondorf then walked over to one of the couches and sat down. He then waved a tiny flag that barely fit in his large hand.

"Go Colts." Ganondorf muttered.

**Dominator046: Damn dude, you made Ganondorf the man of the fic.**

**FEARFAN: Yeah I kinda did. Wow…didn't expect this actually.**

**Roythemanslayer: There goes all your work Dom.**

**Dominator046: That's okay…I'll ruin it when I go up…right…right?**

**FEARFAN: Yeah see about that; the co-writing thing…**


	13. 4th Quarter and the Epilogue

_**Originally I was intending for Dominator046 to write the rest of this fanfiction...unfortunately...for whatever reason, I have been unable to get a hold of him since 3-4 weeks ago, and he hasn't been posting on my Facebook. I therefore assumed that he was too busy to worry about it, as he does have alot of stuff going on with him and decided to do the rest myself. And since I exhausted all my good gags in the earlier chapters, I didn't have much to go on. **_

_**So here's the best I could do...enjoy the final chapter. God bless and have a nice day; and thanks for the support from all my peers and friends, and everyone who helped on this.**_

* * *

**FEARFAN: Put down the chainsaw Dom…put down the Chain saw…**

**Dominator046: NO! You said this was co-writing! You fucking said that!**

**FEARFAN: Yeah well…you know how things are…with stuff**

**Dominator046: What stuff!? You don't do things!**

**Roythemanslayer:…just give him the laptop.**

**FEARFAN: FINE! Here you go…**

**Dominator046: YAY!**

Mario began to…

**BANG! **

**Roythemanslayer: Holy shit Mike! You shot Dom!**

**FEARFAN: I don't care he was useless to me! I'm wrapping this shit up!**

**CURRENT TIME: 9:00. Last hour of the game.**

It was now the final quarter of the entire game. Everyone was hopped up on their seats, watching and waiting on every single moment that transpired. Tis to say, the entire house began to become far more restless and tense than it was ever since Mario moved in. Mario was also dreading tomorrow, as he had to clean up everything. And I mean everything.

As they were watching the TV, The Saints managed to get a field goal, putting them only one point down. The Colts of course were now rooting for their team to hold off the Saints advancement, as scoring one touchdown would be terrible after all the time they took to reach it here.

"Colts! Colts! Colts! Colts! Colts! Colts! Colts!" Leon and Cloud both shouted. It then came to their realization that both of them were Colts fans. Now if you don't know (**and I'm sure you don't…because I may have just made it up right now**), Cloud and Leon do not like each other. So as soon as they both heard each other say that, a feeling of spite just came over them.

"You like the Colts?" Cloud asked.

"You also like the Colts?" Leon asked

"Well…I don't like the Colts." Cloud said.

"Me neither." Leon said. "I don't want to associate myself with you."

"No; I'm the Colts fan." Cloud said. "You go the Saint's side."

"Why would I do that?" Leon asked. "I shouldn't be associating myself with a Saint's fan anyway…Saint's fan."

"No; I'm for the Colts!" Cloud shouted. "You're for the Saints!"

"So…how long is this going to go on?" Scorpion asked.

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!" They both shouted.

Scorpion held up his arms, in the traditional "I don't want anything to do this shit" pose, and then looked to see that he had finished his beer. He then saw Sub-Zero opening up a can himself, in which he seized opportunity to acquire it. He shot his kunai out of his hand and latched onto the beer, retracting it into his hand.

"Hey!" Sub-Zero shouted.

"Thanks for the beer." Scorpion said, popping it open. But then he realized that the beer was too warm. "Hey Suby…think you can cool this?"

Sub-Zero hurled an ice sphere into his face. Scorpion sat in his chair, frozen like a statue.

"Ov yehhhh….vaaayy tooo be maaavvvuuree abbooouttt….tvviiisss…" Scorpion muttered in the best possible English he could utter at the time. Sub-Zero then took another beer, in which Jack Cayman took.

"What the fuck dude!?" He shouted. Jack merely turned around and activated the chain saw from his hand. Scared like a little puppy, Sub-Zero simply retracted into the couch and simply took another.

It was here that Mario opened the door and rolled out the desserts.

"Okay people…" Mario said. "We have cherry pies, with the cream cheese and whipped cream, several cakes including the one with a red bow that Jack Cayman had brought. "

"Your welcome." Jack said.

"I still can't wrap my round around the fact that it's a red cake with a bow and a heart on it." Mario said.

"Yeah well can you wrap your mind around the fact that if you attempt to make even the slightest comment against my sexuality, I will rape you." Jack said.

Mario also appeared to be a scared little puppy and then withdrew. Kirby, then decided to be a smart ass and try to eat the cakes. Before he could open his mouth, Jack pulled a grenade from his pocket, unpinned it, and then dropped it into his mouth. Kirby expanded for a second as an explosion was heard and then fell unconscious.

"I've been waiting for cake all day; you're not running this for me." Jack said.

"Yeah!" Luigi shouted. "Let'sa dig in!"

Luigi went over to the cake to cut himself a slice. As he did, Ganondorf got out of his seat and punched Luigi with his Warlock Punch so hard that Luigi flew through the wall and into the air Super Smash Brothers style. Ganondorf then sat back down and hi fived Bowser.

"Thanks for the text." He said.

"Za right." Bowser replied.

And then it happened. The Saints scored a touchdown. Mario literally felt that all hell was about to break lose, and many hurled their cakes and dessert into the wall out of anger and spite. Leon pulled his Gunblade at the TV and this time pulled the trigger. Of course, all that he got was a clicking sound.

"Dammit." He muttered. "Forgot to reload this thing."

"Así que usted podría…" X began.

"I'm not listening to no beaner kid." Leon said.

"Soy no mexicano!" X shouted.

"Shut up Mexican!" Leon shouted.

X was now writing with anger towards Leon because of his team being defeated, to the point where visible steam could be seen coming out of him.

"Man I have a hard time getting X angry at anything." Zero said. "Maybe I should change his default language more…what else we got here."

"Zero…tu erses el dia…" X shouted. But Zero managed to get behind him and then began to play with several buttons on his back. As he did, X jittered out for a second and then stood still. Zero continued to press buttons on the panel in his back.

"Do you know what you're doing?" Iris asked.

"Haven't got a damn idea." Zero shouted. After a minute of playing, X reactivated and then turned around.

"WAS SIE TUN TO ME!?" X shouted. "ZERO Ich schwöre bei Gott…"

"Oh German; cool." Zero said. "What else we got here?"

He fiddled with more buttons on X, and then X jittered again, and then reactivated. When X did he stood still and then stood on his feet.

"En taro Adun!" X shouted.

Zero and Iris stood still, in confusion.

"I don't…I don't…I don't know what that means…" Zero said.

They all saw Ranyor hiding under a couch, as several beer cans fell over when he sprinted under it. When they looked, he was on the floor on all fours.

"NO don't mind me lads." He said. "Just come and wake me when the Zealots have murdered all the Marines."

"Uhhh…" Zero muttered. "I don't get it."

"PTSD is a bitch." Ranyor said.

During the Fourth Quarter as Squall began to feel the early effects of drunkenness due to the fact that was now drinking Jack Daniels out of a bottle (nearly choking to the death due to the fact you should never do that), Desmond returned to the party through the front door with Lucy.

"Hey guys!" He said. "I made it there on time. I still got laid."

"That's great." Mario said. "Now put your pants back on."

Desmond looked down to see he was still in a speedo. Most of the people had their hands over their eyes, but Kyrstal in her drunk state looked at him with her drunken eyes.

"My man's bigger." She moaned as Fox groped her.

"Bullcrap!" He said. "We are contesting this now."

And they did…and she was right. He then pulled a pair of sweats and sat down on a couch with Lucy right next to him, embarrassed he lost a dick size match to an animal.

"Geez…thank god that the guys at the bar would never believe this; even if I did tell them myself." Desmond said.

"It's not your fault." Lucy said. "They probably come from some huge sci fi world will the medications that they have are better than the ones even Absertgo makes."

"This is still gay." Desmond said.

"No; that's not gay that you're smaller." Ganondorf said. "What was really gay was the fact that you whipped your dick out in full view of everyone and within the vicinity of another dick without clothes on with no more than 5 feet separating both of them. That…was really gay."

"You're not helping me." He said.

"As you can tell; I'm not trying to." Ganondorf said.

Ganondorf then went back to staring at the screen as the Colts were losing. He could not have been angrier. Murdering all the people at the shop had not made his desire to kill everyone abate in the least.

"Boy you seem to be having a tough day their Oh King." Ranyor said.

"Oh just shut up." Ganondorf barked.

"Hey guys…check out the washed up King here." Ranyor said, as he was about to take a swig of whisky. Before he did, Ganondorf pulled out his glock that he apparently had and shot the glass. He then stared at Ranyor with an evil smile. But then Ranyor smiled back.

"Well you just subjected yourself to all the black stereotypes." Ranyor said. "How do you feel now partner?"

Ganondorf raised his hand to respond, but upon realizing his defeat, receded into his couch and then growled angrily. Many of the other people began to laugh at putting Ganondorf in with black stereotype. The funnier part was due to the fact he was King, a lot of their jokes actually made sense.

"Hey Ganondorf; how many kids are you a baby daddy to?" Ike shouted.

"How you make that money?" Marth asked.

"Shut up pansy." Wario said. "Hey Ganondorf; you got that bling?"

"When I snap; you're the first to go." He said, looking at Wario.

It was at this time where Young Link and Link came back into the room. Saria had been waiting for her man to come back, and seeing him made her happy. She kept beckoning Link to come back to the couch and sit with her.

"Now son…" Link said. "What did you learn from our talk?"

Link sighed with a very annoyed look at his dad, as he heard this conversation repeated before.

"Yeah Yeah I get it." He said.

"Good…and next time, don't get caught." Link said.

"Yeah I get it and; wait…what?" He asked, astonished. Link chuckled to himself and then put his hand on his son.

"Son…the only reason I give you the stern talking to is so that your mom won't get angry at me and accuse me of not being a parent." He said. "But…I know how it was like to be a teenager; and so does she. Had her father not been an issue…well me and her would be discussing a lot more than just horses; I'll tell you that."

"EEEwww…" Young said moaned. "I mean that's awesome that your telling me this and giving me free reign but eeeeeeeewwwwwww…that's my mom…ewwwwwww…"

"So; your mom's hot." Ganondorf said. There then proceeded an extremely long an awkward staring contest between Link and Ganondorf. "What?"

Link then grabbed the Master sword and hurled it into Ganondorf's shoulder, causing him to fall out of the mansion and land on a patch of grass nearby. Ganondorf got up later pulling the sword out of him.

"Oh real mature; real fucking mature!" He shouted.

A light arrow then went into Ganondorf's face from Link's bow, and he fell over unconscious. Link then brushed his hands together and sat back down, while Young Link laid back to let Saria fall right on top of him.

While Riku and Kairi were making love in Mario's bed (Not that they knew) Sora broke through the window. Riku and Kairi stopped to look at Sora. Sora himself stared at them for a few minutes before he waved hi.

"Hi Riku!" Sora said.

"Uhhh…" He said. "Hey Sora."

"Ummmm…." Kairi said, doing her best not to moan. "I thought you would be with the Nobodies longer."

"They were doing the same thing!" Sora shouted. "Tried to make me turn on different sides; do I decided if people have to fight for me being on their side, might as well do it with people I actually know well."

"Oh." Riku said. "Yeah I guess that makes sense…say could you leave us along for a few minutes?"

"Why; what are you doing in here anyway?" Sora asked.

"Uhhh…" Riku said, unable to believe he actually reached this point of asking questions. "Playing…a game?"

"OH!" Sora shouted. "Can I play?"

"No." Kairi said.

The game was now reaching the boiling point. The Colts fans kept cheering in their seats, waiting for the final minute of the game. Everyone was hot on their seat, waiting for the final goal to reach.

And the timer hit zero…the Saints won with a score of 31 to 17.

"Well…" Leon said. "There seems to be no reason to live."

Leon reloaded his gun and then fired into himself. The numbers 346 came over him.

"Dammit…" He said. "And that was my last bullet."

Cloud got up and then swung his sword at himself. As soon as the sword hit him, the numbers 9999 came up, and he fell over bleeding and unconscious.

"Oh no; I am not getting shown up at Hara Kiri." Leon said. He then trusted his sword into himself, only dealing 654 damage to himself. Leon then gave up and simply began to drinking the entire bottle of Jack Daniels, puking, drinking the rest, and falling over unconscious. **(Not in that order mind you)**

"You guys suck at this." Sub-Zero said, angry that his team lost. "THIS is how you Hara Kiri…"

Sub-Zero then froze himself, fell over, and shattered into pieces.

**THE SAINTS…WIN**

**FLAWLESS VICTORY**

**HARA KIRI**

"Bullshit!" Scorpion shouted. "If anything I should get that victory!"

…**No…**

"Dammit!" Scorpion shouted.

And then in the midst of all the groans, and shouts, Rei then suddenly popped out of her seat.

"HA!" She shouted. "IN YOUR FACE ASUKA! IN YOU'RE FUCKING FACE!"

Rei then immediately grabbed Shinji and ran with him in the nearest bedroom!

"C'MON SHINJI!" She shouted. "WE'RE GONNA HAVE THE ROUGHEST SEX IN OUR LIVES! MAKE ME PURR!"

"HELP ME!" Shinji shouted.

And then those who knew Rei we're left vividly confused on what happened, as the rest of the Saints fans began to party. And then Simon burst into the room.

"Hey guys!" he shouted. "I'm here…let's watch the game!"

"It's over." Ike said.

Simon stood there…stupefied. He then began to spit as if he was about to swear. And then his face turned into a rage face and then screamed.

"FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

And as he did, Pit the Angel swooped into the mansion.

"Hey guys; sorry I'm late." Pit said. "Did I make it?"

"No." They all responded.

Pit then proceeded to do the same thing as Simon.

Mario then drank the rest of a vodka bottle and knew no more of the rest of the day.

**THE END**

**EPILOGUE:**

* * *

_Mario: After the Super Bowl, Mario awoke to a nearly destroyed house of which he had to perform all the work to in order to live. Luigi of course was never there to enjoy the fact that his brother had to slave away because he was still lost in the wilderness from Ganondorf punching him._

_Luigi: Luigi is still lost in the wilderness. He has been missing calls from Miyamoto about being the lead role in games, forcing him to have Mario take the reins. _

_Peach: Peach returned to her castle, only to be kidnapped days later._

_Bowser: Bowser kidnapped Peach days after the Super Bowl, only to have his ass handed to him by Mario days later._

_Geno: Geno as far to our knowledge is still in the sky on fire._

_Wario: Wario is still fatter than holy hell._

_Link and Family: Link and his family returned home to return to their everyday lives._

_Saria: The Saria of this universe continued to have raunchy sex with her boyfriend, and get away with it more, until one pregnancy test later…_

_Ganondorf: Ganondorf returned to his castle and eventually attended Ghirahim's party where the rest of his dignity plummeted._

_Star Fox team: The Star Fox team returned to their ship, completely hung over and unable to remember the game. Came as a shock to the Colts fans when they found out their team lost._

_Kirby: Kirby returned to Pop Star…nothing to crazy here._

_Marth: Marth returned to his castle; and proceeded to be a baller with his new found manhood._

_Ike: Ike returned to kill many more brigands with his axe._

_Roy and Lilina: Roy and Lilina returned home to enjoy some peace and quiet, though she began to hate X after Axl hacked him and uploaded the video of her orgasm on youtube._

_Lucario: Lucario returned to wherever he's from, completely devoid of any traumatic memories, as nothing happened to him the whole time._

_Samus: Samus woke up with a hang-over and murdered several space pirates to deal with it. She also found some embarrassing videos of her online from a username called ArrrMetalGer_

_Sonic: Sonic returned to running everywhere until he took a drug called Speed. Thinking it made him faster, he continued to use it until he crashed and ran into a train. He's been in the hospital since._

_Jack: Jack proceeded to kill many many many more people on Death Watch, and became a national hit once again._

_Simon: Simon returned home and watched the highlights of the game, as that was all he could do. The shame of being lost in a civil mansion still haunts him to this day._

_Snake: Snake returned to upload youtube videos of Samus's drunk antics to youtube. He has not been seen or heard from since._

_Duo and Herro: The two returned home and went to kill more Mobile suits in cheesy animation._

_Sora: Sora is still his cherry old self._

_Riku and Kairi: Riku and Kairi returned home and eventually became friends with benefits. Sora still doesn't get it._

_Cloud: After a Phoenix down was used on him, Cloud was kicked out of Tifa's bar for knocking some blonde up and is currently living with Mario._

_Sephiroth: Sephiroth returned to destroying planets...as that is what Sephiroth does._

_Leon: Leon returned to Radiant Garden, holding a petty non-existent grudge to Cloud still._

_Rei: Rei was returned to the NERV base and evaluated at Shinji's request due to severe trauma. Scientists were baffled when they heard Rei banged Shinji and had a case of doing a complete 180. Because of this, they experimented on her in order to recreate the change, but nothing is successful yet._

_Shinji: Shinji is still in shock after banging Rei._

_Asuka: Asuka was eventually banged by Ezio, and got pregnant. Misato is not happy._

_Karou: Karou committed suicide when he heard Shinju banged Rei._

_Raynor returned to the Hyperion and continues to be his drunk old self._

_The Reploids and friends: Each of them returned to their respective places to continue do their work; pretending that nothing the day before happened._

_Desmond and Lucy: Desmond returned to his world, just in time for the plot of Assassins Creed Brotherhood to begin._

_Ezio: Ezio banged Asuka and has since not made any calls._

_Altair: He just sort of vanished…idk…_

_Sub-Zero: Sub-Zero is dead. Very, very, dead._

_Scorpion: Scorpion returned to hell…thereby forcing me to reiterate the above post._

_Pit: Pit returned to the heavens and became angry he was mentioned in the first chapter and then never used until now._

**THE END**

**FEARFAN: FINALLY!**

**Roythemanslayer: Dude this took you nearly two years to write.**

**FEARFAN: I know right!? Thank god it's over.**

**Roythemanslayer: Like literally, Super Sunday is next week.**

**FEARFAN: They get it; I'm lazy! Don't shove it in my face.**

**Roythemanslayer: And that one user kept requesting you to do more…**

***BANG!***

_**Special thanks goes to users Dominator046, Zammy, and Neonazo356 for their contributions to this fanfic. You guys (and girl) rock!**_


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